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Am I a Freak?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hmmm where shall I begin? hmmmmm, ok
Right, I'm not sure if this is really a relationship thing but it seem's the best place to post this considering the other subject boards.
(Ok this is gonna sound kida stupid and maybe freakish)
Well as I've grown up over the years, I've always had a feeling of importance or that I was special in some way while others were not.
Like a sense of destiny or something.
I've always been able to tell or sense when people are happy or angry etc, and I can tell or think I can tell when there are others around with similar veiws or feelings.
I grew up thinking that I would one day have to Help/Save people from something or other, and it wasn't you're ordenary crime or (whatever), It was always something big.
When I started primary School I decided that I when I finished schooling I would travel the World, I don't know why I decided to, I just felt I had too. I have kept with my desision to the present day and plan to go around the world after finishing University.
(When I met one of my cousin's who was the same age at christmas, who I'd only met once before a few years earlier, we got talking about plans after University and she said she had to travel the world-which scared meif she meant had)
Well anyway at the end of Primary School and the start of Secondary School, I had just about got myself convinced that I was just one weird kid. Until one day when I was in year 7, My Dad told me that me and my brother were special, he told both of us (when we we in year 7, although there is a large age gap between us) 'that I would find the anwsers and my brother would tell the world'. I still don't fully understand that today but as I grew older, he told me more and more. A year or so later after manageing to get my brother drunk i found out that before me and my brother were born my parents had had visions about us in their sleep. I managed to ask my dad about late last year about this, and he confimed it.
my Dad also got me to start thinking about the big questions and got me looking at diffrent ideas about are begginings and are end, existence of e.t's etc. and which left me with quite an open mind. (My Dad is perfectly sane bather way, and he isn't one to lie or be dis-honest, he knows what he's talking about)
But ever since I've had friends, I've always been false around them,I mean not my true self. Because my true self was not normal because of all of this stuff). And none of them would except me for who I really am, no one I know would. Every friendship/relationship I have been in has always ended because I tried so hard to hide this side of me and ended up over doing the norm, and I fear it will happen again.
I can't just shut that side of me off,
I can't just forget about it,
no doctor or specialist could help me, because I know that I have an important part to play in the future nobaody can change that part of me, that veiw.
But what should I do?
Am I a freak? a loser? If not then what? <IMG alt="image" SRC="confused.gif" border="0">
Right, I'm not sure if this is really a relationship thing but it seem's the best place to post this considering the other subject boards.
(Ok this is gonna sound kida stupid and maybe freakish)
Well as I've grown up over the years, I've always had a feeling of importance or that I was special in some way while others were not.
Like a sense of destiny or something.
I've always been able to tell or sense when people are happy or angry etc, and I can tell or think I can tell when there are others around with similar veiws or feelings.
I grew up thinking that I would one day have to Help/Save people from something or other, and it wasn't you're ordenary crime or (whatever), It was always something big.
When I started primary School I decided that I when I finished schooling I would travel the World, I don't know why I decided to, I just felt I had too. I have kept with my desision to the present day and plan to go around the world after finishing University.
(When I met one of my cousin's who was the same age at christmas, who I'd only met once before a few years earlier, we got talking about plans after University and she said she had to travel the world-which scared meif she meant had)
Well anyway at the end of Primary School and the start of Secondary School, I had just about got myself convinced that I was just one weird kid. Until one day when I was in year 7, My Dad told me that me and my brother were special, he told both of us (when we we in year 7, although there is a large age gap between us) 'that I would find the anwsers and my brother would tell the world'. I still don't fully understand that today but as I grew older, he told me more and more. A year or so later after manageing to get my brother drunk i found out that before me and my brother were born my parents had had visions about us in their sleep. I managed to ask my dad about late last year about this, and he confimed it.
my Dad also got me to start thinking about the big questions and got me looking at diffrent ideas about are begginings and are end, existence of e.t's etc. and which left me with quite an open mind. (My Dad is perfectly sane bather way, and he isn't one to lie or be dis-honest, he knows what he's talking about)
But ever since I've had friends, I've always been false around them,I mean not my true self. Because my true self was not normal because of all of this stuff). And none of them would except me for who I really am, no one I know would. Every friendship/relationship I have been in has always ended because I tried so hard to hide this side of me and ended up over doing the norm, and I fear it will happen again.
I can't just shut that side of me off,
I can't just forget about it,
no doctor or specialist could help me, because I know that I have an important part to play in the future nobaody can change that part of me, that veiw.
But what should I do?
Am I a freak? a loser? If not then what? <IMG alt="image" SRC="confused.gif" border="0">
0
Comments
You maybe the Anti-christ for all you know, and out there, there is someone trying to kill you.
But that is unlikely to say the least. I have a friend, who like you also experiences visions, as did his dad, which are quite disturbing. For example one nite his dad had a dream in which whatever happened, on his journey tommorrow he must pick up a hitchiker who was going to Manchester and who was wearing something like a red coat. The next day they all piled in the car to drive up North, and on the way my mates dad told his mum to keep a look out for a hitch hiker going to Manchester.
A few hours later they saw said Hitch Hiker, and stopped for a few minutes to have a rest. They turned on the radio and discovered that a few hundred yards ahead there had been a major pile up with several deaths, something they would have been caught in if they didn't stop.
My point is, that whatever you have doesn't make you a freak, just different, you don't have to hide it, but at the same time you dont have to mention it unless asked! Just make sure though, that whatever happens you don't join the military or become a politician. I'd hate to think of the anti-christ being in charge of a country.
Visions do happen, I know. I don't know how the heck they do, but some people effectively have 'memories' of the future, of varying degrees of accuracy.
I disagree with Whowhere's advice to steer clear of certain professions: I think you should go wherever you think you should. The term "Anti-Christ" has become loaded with such a load of negative PR ( :: nods in the direction of Rome :: ) that it's become impossible for most people to view it any other way. Read Nietzsche, for example, who declared himself to be the Anti-Christ, admired Christ himself, but despised Christianity.
Kind regards,
Mac
But seriously, you are not a freak you have a very open and spiritual mind and according to your dad you have a gift. Do not shy away from it and do not be ashamed of it. Be yourelf and you will find people who are extremly interested, if they take the piss then it is their loss....just relax and enjoy whatever life brings to you.
I know what you're going through. :-)
-moogs
I guess that what I need is a fresh start in a new area with new people, where I can be myself from the start and then people would accept me. Only problem is I can't really make a new start for 2 years, when I finish 6th form and go to uni....but I'll bear in mind what you all said.
thanks..