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Yet another Internet relationship...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hiya,

I bet you see problems like this everyday, but here goes:
- Met a gorgeous girl in a chatroom 2years ago.
- Met 3 times (she lives 2hrs away from me), but ring each other regularly.
- Problem is that I fell for her about a year ago, and she let me down gently, the distance etc. Got over her.
- But then I went to her birthday party, and since then I just can't stop thinking about her, to the point that it hurts.

Now what?

[This message has been edited by Continuity (edited 19-02-2001).]

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Continuity:
    Hiya,

    I bet you see problems like this everyday, but here goes:
    - Met a gorgeous girl in a chatroom 2years ago.
    - Met 3 times (she lives 2hrs away from me), but ring each other regularly.
    - Problem is that I fell for her about a year ago, and she let me down gently, the distance etc. Got over her.
    - But then I went to her birthday party, and since then I just can't stop thinking about her, to the point that it hurts.

    Now what?


    tough situation dude. one way feelings are the worst. i was the same over a girl for what seemed like forever, and it never did work out.

    but now that i have some distance, all i can tell you is you have to one of two things, and neither is very easy.

    1. you can come to the realization that it will never happen and move on. she's already said as much. even though this is killing you, cut ur loses and get back out there.

    2. make one more pitch at it. if it's been a year, i don't see y you can't give her one more try. the risk is of course getting deja vu all over again and getting shot down a second time.

    either way, u get closure. i say go in there guns a blazing and lay it on the line once more... if you win.. awesome. if u don't.. well, at least you know...

    just sitting there thinking about her and doing nothing is the worst thing you can do.

    good luck dude.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Easy T:
    getting deja vu all over again
    good luck dude.

    Deja vu all over again??? lol...innit that a tautology???

    I don't live to work, I work to live and I live at the weekends. I'm the last of the big time drinkers.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Turtletoise:
    Deja vu all over again??? lol...innit that a tautology???


    it's a Yogi-ism, dude. Yogi Berra was a catcher for the New York Yankees back in the 1940s and 1950s and he was attributed with a lot of dry quotes like that one.

    Another one he is famous for is "it ain't over til it's over."

    If you're interested, u can check more of them out at:
    http://www.bostonbaseball.com/whitesox/yogi.html

    Some of it is absolutely classic <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yep, I know who Yogi Berra is. I got an american friend who's quite a fan of him. Some smart stuff came out of his mouth, and some funny stuff. But yeah, i shoulda realised.

    (and in answer to my own question: yes, it is a tautology)

    I don't live to work, I work to live and I live at the weekends. I'm the last of the big time drinkers.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmmmmmm, sometimes I wonder...

    The girl I met on the net, (who is now my gf), what does she really think of me? Yeah we speak on the phone, yeah we've met breifly, but how much of what she says is true (about her feelings towards me) well... I guess I'm being paranoid... she cares!!

    Anyway Continuity mate, I think you might as well hint to her a bit, or you know, maybe go and visit her some more, but DON'T let your expectations get too high. I think its worth one last stab. But if she ain't interested now I don't ever think she will be, so its best to move on. My advice doesn't help does it? No. It never does... oh well, I'll get back to my pizza now.

    Thank you INTERNET!!! Without you there wouldn't be as many awkward relationships and love problems in the world, you're just making the problem spread out a bit!!

    Not getting caught is only half the fun!!
    I'm the rest!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should give it another shot. after all, it has been a year. If she doesn't like you, then u will just have to try and forget about it. (easier sed than done i know)

    Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the advice so far, but the one thing thats really holding me back is the matter of it maybe ruining our friendship? :/
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    did it hurt your friendship b4?

    Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Continuity:
    Thanks for the advice so far, but the one thing thats really holding me back is the matter of it maybe ruining our friendship? :/

    and that's always the gamble. when you're good friends and you want to take it to another level, the wager is always what you have now.

    the question is, can you live with what you have now? seems to me the answer is no cause it's driving you nuts...

    if you want to be friends, then don't rock the boat, if you want to be more, then go for it. if it happens, omigod. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; but be prepared for potential rejection and a ruined friendship, because she will most likely feel uncomfortable around you IF she turns you down a second time.

    (that might also be good in a small way cause at least you wouldn't have to be around her and go nuts wondering.)

    anyways.. good luck dude.




    [This message has been edited by Easy T (edited 22-02-2001).]
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    i think easy T has said a lot of what i would say. i understand how you feel, ive been in a similar situation before, briefly coz of some other circumstances leading me to it (just dont ask!!) although i hadnt met the person. but basically i made the gamble and told them how i felt and how id like it to be more than friendship. the other person realised i was basically on the rebound... and let me down gently. it wasthe right thing to do. it def wasnt a good time for me to be considering a relationship, and he recognised this and so we saved our friendship. okay it was a bit awkward for a while but now we're just as strong as ever <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    ohdear ive been waffling.. anyway maybe if you tellthis girl how your feeliings for her have been stirred up by seeing her again and you were wondering if there was any chance of your relationship becoming more, and that you just need toknow. and if not, then either tellher you stil want to be friends and that it wont change anything (if it wont and if you do), or tell her that you need some time apart from talking to her to get her out of your head and that sometime you might be able to just be friends again.

    it doesnt mean you have to lose the friendship by default if you tell somone how you feel. its a possibilitiy...but wouldnt you rather know than find out 20 years later that you were both feeling the same way and think "what might have been?".

    goodluck! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    It only takes one tree to make a thousand matches, only takes one match to burn a thousand trees
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