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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition) w/c 03.11.25
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The thing with overeating is that it's normal to feel demoralised afterwards, especially when it ties in to how you see yourself. It does possibly sound like an eating disorder, but i can't diagnose anything and am no expert on it. But there are professionals who you can speak to who are a lot more knowledgeable about this, to help you to better understand what's going on, and if it is one or not. I'll just drop a quick link if you ever wanted to chat to them about it (they are open monday-friday 3pm-8pm): https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/get-help-for-myself/i-need-support-now/helplines/
And whilst i'm not knowledgeable about this topic, but i do know that growing up, food was the only comfort in my life. There no matter what, and reliable when everything else has been horrible. That was my experience with it. So i fully understand what you mean about it becoming a comfort and something that you turn to when things are rough. It sounds like a coping mechanism, and it's understandable why.
I also just wanted to add that it's incredibly brave for you to have opened up about this. None of what you said was rambling at all, and you don't ever have to say sorry.
@Cutelivejazz that doesn't sound helpful at all from them. Beat are supposed to be a listening and support service, not a service that simply points people to online articles and says that's that. You really do deserve a lot better. I know this might not sound like a good option, but it might be worth ringing up at a different time on a different day, because some helplines have a mix of good helpline staff and bad ones. It might just be worth trying again until you get one who isn't rude but instead is supportive. That is if you wanted to give it another go. It's understandable if not. I can try and find some other support lines if you'd like.
And about not feeling safe, it sounds like the anxiety and constant hypervigilence has really taken it's toll. Always being on alert, on guard 24/7 is something i myself have dealt with my whole life, and the toll it takes is heavy. Any bang, or loud noise makes me flinch and jump to action. I got told i likely have PTSD from years of hypervigilance. So i really do understand what it is your going through, being unable to ever feel safe. Nobody should ever have to suffer like that.
@Cutelivejazz I'm so sorry your suffering like that right now, and thank you so much for being open about it. Can i just ask if you've got anybody nearby who might be able to keep you safe at the minute? And also, would you feel comfortable reaching out to either shout or childline, who have professionals who are a lot better than i am? Obviously I'll still be here to talk to. You shouldn't have to go through this without support, friend.
@Cutelivejazz for what it's worth, nobody should have to deal with such crappy remarks, from family least of all. I know this isn't my place to say, but it's as if your mom is completely oblivious to your struggles and the reasons behind it. And the fact they make sh into a joke, and don't take it seriously just shows how unsupportive that is.
None of that spiral, and none of that incident was your fault, jazz. You deserve to be surrounded by supportive people, not people who make cruel comments. Here (besides the obvious guideline restrictions), you can be open, and don't have to keep your mouth shut. It's okay to vent here.
And i know this won't take away the hurt when they make such crappy comments, but try to remember this. Are the opinions of people who cause you to spiral with their belittling comments and make jokes out of SH, the sort of opinions that deserve to be valued?
You shouldn't have to deal with such nasty remarks. And we're all proud of you for talking about this and opening up.
@Cutelivejazz first of all, well done for being brave enough to talk about this stuff.
So, i may have mentioned this before, but absolutely nobody has gone through life without messing up at one stage or another. Not one person. Heck, i almost lost my left hand from messing around whilst washing the pots once (it's a long story). Lying about things when you were younger is something I'm pretty sure nearly every single person has also done to avoid getting in trouble. Heck, the majority of people still do stuff like lying to some extent. It's not that you're a bad person, jazz.
tw// mention of sh
What's important is that you've learnt from it. Giving social media to online strangers is always a recipe for disaster and is never worth it, no matter how much you trust that person. The fact you acknowledge that, know that it wasn't a smart move, and that you aren't going to do it again shows you've learnt from it. I do understand why your mum is still cautious, she has every right to be, and obviously she loves you, but that doesn't make her lack of support over your mental health okay either.
I also want to say that the loneliness is understandable. Social isolation is extremely tough. With platforms like the Mix thankfully, the anonymity and moderation here means this is a safe place to talk to be able to make anonymous friends on, talk and get support, which is a far safer alternative.
@Cutelivejazz I fully understand jazz. It's really good that you know your limits and are taking care of yourself, until you feel safer. You did a great job even just talking about it, and you should be very proud of yourself. Difficult topics are always hard to talk about, and even opening up a little bit is a huge thing. If you want, we can talk about something else entirely to lighten things a bit for you?
Just in case you ever don't feel safe though, remember that childline and shout are available 24/7 to talk to if you ever need them.
I'll pop a link here to a few organizations where you might be able to seek some further support if you'd like:
http://peerchat.link/lifeworks
Already positing here has been such a positive step! What's it felt like to speak these words 'out-loud'?
im ok, it went ok.
Hey @Roselite - I don't believe we've met, so I wanted to say hi first of all. It sounds like you're really struggling right now, and I can hear how isolated you feel. That must be incredibly difficult, and it's such a brave thing to reach out here to talk.
I can completely relate to being isolated, and while we may have different circumstances I've been very cut off from people growing up, so I understand how painful it can be. I'm truly sorry you're feeling this way, everyone deserves a stable and caring support system, and that includes you.
I'm here for you, and if you ever want to vent or just chat to someone, I'll be here to listen. We care about you, and you deserve to be heard and supported
I'm not sure why it feels so hard to believe that I deserve a support system just as much as everyone else. Maybe because I'm so unused to it. I relate to what you said about being cut off from people growing up, even long before my physical health issues existed. So I'm truly not used to seeing myself in a positive way or worthy of support from others. But inevitably, with how lonely I've been, I've been wishing I had it regardless.
Thank you for caring.
@Roselite I understand, and I honestly felt surprised reading this as I can relate to most of what you said. It sounds like things have been really hard for quite some time, and I'm sorry you've been so alone. It's really hard, and your feelings are all valid. But I promise you, you deserve support, even if it's hard to believe that.
I relate to what you said about being afraid of being judged or people getting angry - I really struggle with social interactions as well and I feel that way quite a lot. That voice in your head is trying to protect you, but what it's saying isn't true, and the reality is that people will be supportive and usually more than happy to help here. Everyone is so welcome to share their feelings and struggles, no matter what they are, and you are no exception
I'm really grateful you felt able to share how you've been feeling, as I've never met anyone who feels the same way before. We're all here to listen if you ever want to vent in the future - people won't judge, I promise. And if you'd like someone to chat to about anything, I'm here for you. You're not alone
I relate to that voice wanting to protect me. I'm sure in some ways it has in the past. But because I'm so used to looking out for danger wherever I turn, just to be safe, that voice is also stubborn and refuses to let go. It can't fathom there being a space where I am truly 100% safe, because as long as other people are involved, there's always the potential for things to go wrong. So I end up isolating myself, or even if I do open up to someone, I keep it extremely vague where I just say "I've been struggling lately" and don't elaborate, or downplay its seriousness.
I'm still trying to shake the feeling that it's not too selfish or demanding to be here, even as I type this. I don't want my issues to detract from another person's, or deprive them of a space that they need. In my head, there's enough room for everyone minus one, and it falls on me to minimise my issues, not reach out and remain accommodating to others. I'm so used to that feeling like the case growing up that I carry that blueprint with me everywhere.
I appreciate the support and reassurance, @Nemuritai. I'm glad opening up about this has helped you feel a bit less alone in your struggles. You also deserve support. It's hard to feel like I'm not alone but I'll try remember to post here more often.