I’ve ruined everything

user123

I had an argument with my bf and I told my mum all about it. I didn’t tell him I told her and I think he’d think I was lying if I admitted I told her when I said I didn’t. But I regret telling my mum now because she will judge him. I told my mum he shouted at me and left me for 2 hours alone in the room on holiday. I don’t even remember what I said exactly to my mum but I know he didn’t shout at me. He raised his voice out of frustration but it’s not like I feel unsafe or anything and I feel like it’s now out there. Is it so bad to shout at someone? I’m feeling like there’s no coming back from this. I’m so upset and feel like I’ve ruined everything. I can’t tell my bf I did this either he would feel so betrayed. I tried to tell my mum he didn’t shout at me but she just says she’s not interested but then how am I supposed to make things right? I feel like I can’t be with my bf if my mum doesn’t approve or thinks he’s shouting at her daughter. How bad is this? Does anyone have any advice? I feel totally broke

Azziman

Hi @user123, thank you for sharing this with us. I can hear how difficult the situation is for you. Your feelings are valid - at the time, you wanted to speak to someone after the argument. That being said, arguments happen in all relationships, and people can get heated as they're emotionally invested in the conversation.

How are things with your partner, first of all? Have you spoken after that interaction and talked things out, or is it left unresolved? That feels like an important part of addressing the situation.

On the other hand, you mention that your mum isn't interested to hear any more, and that you're worried that she doesn't approve or look kindly upon your partner. Why do you think you feel this way from the interactions you've had with her? What do you feel that you need to "make right" by her?

We're here to support you through this