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how’re you my favourite twat!
I’m doing ok. Just getting by as you do. Can’t wait for holiday to just relax
Edit: I have gained an interesting new rank with this post that I have absolutely zero idea what it means but I’ll take it
im feeling slightly better now. i came back onto the mix with 13 notifications so please bear with me @DonnerKebab
@Redemption hey bro, yeah, i'm here to talk
@River sorry it's taken a while to get to you, i've been off the mix for a tiny bit. River, i just want you to know i'm here to talk to if you ever want. Hope your doing better, and that your okay right now.
@DonnerKebab a bit busy in chat today but great as always. How's your day been?
@River sorry. i missed what you put. You don't need to put it again, especially if it's sensitive stuff or anything that your worried about talking about on the mix, but i'm all ears now if you want. I'm not falling asleep again after that nap.
@River You've been my friend for a month and a half now. I think i know you well enough to know that isn't fully true right now. You're not quite yourself right now friend. Please don't take offense to this, i'm just worried for you is all. Just know i'm here for you if you need me for anything. Sending a hug.
@River that's sort of how i survived for ten years and it sucks. Wouldn't recommend it for anybody. You go completely numb to emotions after a while as a survival mechanism and it's hard to fully undo. I know your gonna keep safe cause you promised you would, but i'm just worried, that your struggling to see how good of a person you are, that you don't realise you deserve better, and i don't want you to give up hope. I know i bang on about it a lot, but it's only because it's true.
I think i've been a bit wrong being pushy about this stuff for the last few weeks and i'm sorry if i've upset or offended you with any of it or seemed like i wasn't considering how you feel or was being dismissive of it, but just know i'm here to talk to whenever you feel ready.
I joined circle tonight but I couldn’t engage in it at all
@River that's perfectly fine and normal to happen. People freeze up when put on the spot all the time, and when your carrying so much, and have such a huge amount to get of your chest and explain in like 15 minutes (it's more accurately 5 minutes and then discussions for the next 10), it's hard to articulate everything. Especially when your the centre of attention for those 15 minutes which is scary for introverts (I did support circle once before, i know the feeling as an introvert
What might be a good idea to do, is to get a pen and paper, and jot things down, and then from that, break it down into several talkable bullet points if that makes sense. That way, you don't have to deal with everything on the spot and can come pre-prepared to it.
@River I know this is gonna sound cliche and you probably have already heard this a million times before, but sometimes people have moments where they just freeze on the spot. Even when there used to it. I had a moment at 16 with my brother when he had a meltdown, and i froze up for a second, didn't think, my mind just went blank, and he was able to just go around me and attack my mum. I pulled him off, but never was able to explain it to myself. I had been doing it for half a decade at that stage, no issues, and i just froze up. It's just human nature to freeze up at times. there could be a thousand reasons why. it was a one off for me. It will likely just be a one off thing tonight freezing up as well, but if it is recurring, then we can look at why and reasons for it.
Sometimes it happens with my age regression but I haven’t regressed at all tonight nor has any alter tried to take front
@toffuna101 I got a coca cola mini fridge but don't run it cause it's too expensive to run in my room
@River I've always been confused about age regression. I don't know much about it, but an AI therapist say's I have arrested development if that's any similar. So i can't speak much on that front at all. A bit too confusing for me.
What i can say though is that sometimes, even without age regression, people freeze up. It might be linked to age regression for you when it happens, but it can also be a perfectly normal occurrence, without any links to age regression or alters taking front, if that makes sense. it happens in people with no mental challenges like that, and people with. I am glad to hear your not facing those battles today though. That's at least one good thing you can get out of today i suppose.
that sucks
It's literally can shaped. I got it for christmas like 10 years ago now for like £50 at the time. Here's what it is: https://www.wayfair.co.uk/garden/pdp/koolatron-europe-coca-cola-mini-fridge-54l-portable-cooler-warmer-8-can-beverage-drinks-cool-box-lbqj1079.html
My age regression is more complicated than the google definition as I also have alters 🥲 so it makes it harder than for people who just age regression - I have 5 alters
@toffuna101 right you are it sucks. I do use it from time to time though, like during a heatwave. Stick a few cans of pop in there, and get them out whenever i want. Just 90% of the time it's off outside of that.
Oh, and a slushy machine, and a popcorn machine, and a mini ceramic pizza oven, and an ice cream maker. Because obviously everybody needs those things in there bedroom. Off 90% of the time as well as the mini fridge due to energy and ingredient costs, but damn, it's good when there's a heatwave and i can whip all these things out.