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Comments

  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,168 Community Veteran
    The only way for me to stop feeling pain is to stop expressing how I feel and showing emotion so from now on I will not be showing emotion or expressing how I feel; banning myself 🙃
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    River wrote: »
    The only way for me to stop feeling pain is to stop expressing how I feel and showing emotion so from now on I will not be showing emotion or expressing how I feel; banning myself 🙃

    @River sorry, but might not be the best idea. You'll go emotionally numb after a long time, and it's hard to undo emotional numbness friend. And thank you for your kind words earlier River in the support chat.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,168 Community Veteran
    @DonnerKebab even better, I won’t feel a thing
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,905 Master Poster
    there’s a live band in my local town that im at. nervous that ive come but i have.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    Mum had another meltdown again lol, so i called her out. She just cried and said cruel things, so i called her out for being not only a failure of a mother, but truly cruel to me. She's not kicked me out, but it's tense to say the least.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    River wrote: »
    @DonnerKebab even better, I won’t feel a thing

    @River i thought that for a long time, but it gets to you. It's no way to live. It stops any emotional development, improving and advancing, it juts stops. It's just existing.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,168 Community Veteran
    @DonnerKebab im already existing, ive never lived
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    edited June 15
    River wrote: »
    @DonnerKebab im already existing, ive never lived

    @River but it's about hope of things improving too. Plus developing emotionally. It's all stopped with emotional numbness if it's severe enough. I know you have never really lived, but that doesn't mean you won't ever be able to. But emotional numbness creates an additional barrier, if that makes sense, that needs to be overcome for that to happen.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,905 Master Poster
    DonnerKebab wrote: »
    Mum had another meltdown again lol, so i called her out. She just cried and said cruel things, so i called her out for being not only a failure of a mother, but truly cruel to me. She's not kicked me out, but it's tense to say the least.

    sending you so many hugs 🫂
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    @eylah appreciate it. It means more to me than you know right now.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,905 Master Poster
    DonnerKebab wrote: »
    @eylah appreciate it. It means more to me than you know right now.

    always 🫂
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,168 Community Veteran
    @DonnerKebab are you safe at home? I hope she calms down soon and you can get some peace, you don’t deserve neglect from her, you deserve love from her
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    @River I'm upstairs trying my best to avoid her. Safe and everything. She couldn't lay a finger on me like when i was younger, so i'm safe. It's just if she has another tantrum and maybe kicks me out, this time for good. Then i'll sleep in my car on the drive for a while until she struggles with my brother's care and asks me to come back. It used to happen often getting kicked out, but i had my gran back then. She would take me in for a day, my brother would meltdown at home, mum couldn't cope alone and she would call asking me to come home and help her with my brother, and my gran would give her what for. Thank you for asking River and saying that, it means a lot.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,168 Community Veteran
    edited June 15
    @DonnerKebab if she kicks you out please please please phone the police and explain the situation and then the housing association, she has no right to kick you out, that’s your house too or would a hotel work if need be?
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    River wrote: »
    @DonnerKebab are you safe at home? I hope she calms down soon and you can get some peace, you don’t deserve neglect from her, you deserve love from her

    I have zero money for a hotel, I'm a young healthy 23 year old man, so I'm not priority for emergency housing from my local authority, and legally, there isn't a lot i can do i don't think. Plus the shelter helpline is shut on sunday's. I don't mind sleeping in my car for a bit, i've got it all planned out. Just a little humiliating is all. But thank you so much for your concern @River . It means the world to me. How are you right now?
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,168 Community Veteran
    @DonnerKebab i mean I would say you could happily live with me but I doubt the staff would allow that and plus that would be chaos 😂
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    @River not quite how i expected today to go but on the bright side, i can have a break from my brother if that happens 😂
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,168 Community Veteran
    @DonnerKebab you need a break from them both whilst in a safe place not your car, what if aliens get you D:
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    @River i'm happy just having a friend, even if it's just online but cheers 😂
  • shannon_164shannon_164 Community Connector Posts: 2,245 Boards Champion
    i can understand your situation a little in terms of being threatened with being kicked out @DonnerKebab and know that the reality is, once you’re over 18 that you can legally be kicked out too. i don’t know where in the uk you are, but im in northern ireland and finally reached out to the ni housing executive and now im on a waitlist for another place to live which im glad of as living at home for me personally is ruining my mental health. maybe wherever you are there is a similar organisation that can help you? there are also plenty of charities too but i know that many of them in my experience have been unhelpful (i was literally told by simon community to just go to sleep and when i wake up in the morning it will all be ok lol). i hope you get everything sorted <3
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    @River don't worry the car is alien proof, vampire proof, and zombie proof
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,168 Community Veteran
    Going to see my new college tonight only cos I’m there on Friday for the day and idk how to get there lol
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    @shannon_164 i'm sorry your facing a similar struggle. it's hard. Most of them are not even open on sunday's 😂

    It's just for me, the biggest challenge is that i've never been able to develop any form of independence over my life, because it's been committed to being a carer. Childhood onwards. So, i stopped developing emotionally. I still have a teddy bear as a friend 😂. So independence, being able to socialise, self confidence, that sort of stuff is completely non existent for me. So it's a bit like being dropped at the deep end. I'm not being kicked out just yet, she let me stay if i begged a bit, which was humiliating, but it's just the threat of her having another tantrum you know and going through with it.

    Thank you so much your your kind words and support, and i'm glad your also getting help. How are you feeling today about everything else? Sorry i wasn't much help in the support chat.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    River wrote: »
    Going to see my new college tonight only cos I’m there on Friday for the day and idk how to get there lol

    Are you nervous about it @River ?
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,168 Community Veteran
    @DonnerKebab yeah
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • shannon_164shannon_164 Community Connector Posts: 2,245 Boards Champion
    @DonnerKebab i get you on that - for completely different reasons i struggle massively with things like socialising etc so can understand a bit too. nothing wrong with having your teddy!! i have a whole shelf worth of teddies, literally bought another one today lol & then also the teddy that comes practically everywhere with me.

    hey you were helpful on the thread!! pls don’t think that you weren’t much help because you were, and i’m sure everyone will agree with me over you on that hehehe

    i’m feeling ok ish, just today being probably the worst day of the year & my mum having a go at me for 10 billion different reasons isn’t ideal but hey ho i’ll survive, no other choice i guess?
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    River wrote: »
    @DonnerKebab yeah

    @River it's normal to feel scared and nervous, but trust me, these things tend to work out
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,168 Community Veteran
    @DonnerKebab i do my first ever bus journey there on Friday alone and I don’t even know how to read bus times or this map lol 🥲 the research not going well
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,905 Master Poster
    hello
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 865 Part of The Mix Family
    shannon_164 wrote: »
    @DonnerKebab i get you on that - for completely different reasons i struggle massively with things like socialising etc so can understand a bit too. nothing wrong with having your teddy!! i have a whole shelf worth of teddies, literally bought another one today lol & then also the teddy that comes practically everywhere with me.

    hey you were helpful on the thread!! pls don’t think that you weren’t much help because you were, and i’m sure everyone will agree with me over you on that hehehe

    i’m feeling ok ish, just today being probably the worst day of the year & my mum having a go at me for 10 billion different reasons isn’t ideal but hey ho i’ll survive, no other choice i guess?

    @shannon_164 thanks. You really are a saint still being as kind as you are on today of all days shannon. I have a few, but my main one is a turtle named turtle (10/10 marks for creativity) which i keep with me in my backpack at all times. Had him since i was 5 when i picked him out of a charity shop. 😂

    I know that today is really tough on you shannon, and your mum having a go only makes it far worse. I'm here to talk to if you want some more about it all. Proud of you for surviving today friend.
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