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im trying to keep going π
eylah
Posts: 4,990 The Mix Elder
im safe im just rly exhausted from everything everything i feel think do is just so hard. bc im so alone idk how to cope with how i feel anymore i have nothing. im trying my best every day but bc im so alone its not feeling gd enough it is just getting worse everyday.
everyday seems like a chore i am living in pain constantly i lost my best friend ( my mum ). i wish my life was different i rly do but nothing i do is working its just so hard to keep focus but i just cant keep suffering like this its so hard. π£
im trying every day i rly am but every day its like a kick in teeth bc no matter what i do it is getting worse to live with not better its so hard it rly is my life is so painful rn im worth nothing nor is my life.
i know life has mishaps but its always being hard idk how to do anything im trying to do things i enjoy like drawing etc but even thats just taking up energy i dont have rn its like whats point π.
i am trying to think positive stuff rn i rly am like what do i want my future to be what do i wanna do but rn it seems like i have no future its so frustrating bc i am only 18 so i have my life ahead but its so hard battling these things in my head its soooo hard. im letting myself down my gp is even saying she doesnβt know how to help me bc everything is so hard but im trying so hard to keep going rn.
im safe
everyday seems like a chore i am living in pain constantly i lost my best friend ( my mum ). i wish my life was different i rly do but nothing i do is working its just so hard to keep focus but i just cant keep suffering like this its so hard. π£
im trying every day i rly am but every day its like a kick in teeth bc no matter what i do it is getting worse to live with not better its so hard it rly is my life is so painful rn im worth nothing nor is my life.
i know life has mishaps but its always being hard idk how to do anything im trying to do things i enjoy like drawing etc but even thats just taking up energy i dont have rn its like whats point π.
i am trying to think positive stuff rn i rly am like what do i want my future to be what do i wanna do but rn it seems like i have no future its so frustrating bc i am only 18 so i have my life ahead but its so hard battling these things in my head its soooo hard. im letting myself down my gp is even saying she doesnβt know how to help me bc everything is so hard but im trying so hard to keep going rn.
im safe
keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. π€
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Comments
I hear you're missing your mum so desperately right now, and truly it sounds devestating - missing your best friend in the whole world and for so much to have changed. It feels like you're dealing with the deepest heartache, and I'm so glad you could post here and let us know so we can be with you in this even a little bit.
You said you're completely exhausted, and it sounds like there's a part of you that really, really needs things to change now - you feel like you can't just keep suffering like this. It's not feasible or okay. And that is so, so valid. I can imagine it's potentially super overwhelming to hear your GP say that she doesn't know what to do, because you don't want to be stuck. What do you mean when you say you're letting yourself down? That sounds like a heavy thing to feel on top of everything else.
Keep us posted, Eylah. This is your community. You're doing so well reaching out to us and your GP
i feel like im letting myself down bc i was expecting myself to be doing well rn but im just a big fat failure a girl who cant and isnt doing anything π i hate feeling like this but its just how i feel abt myself which is hard bc i hate feeling like this. im just trying to keep going but its so hard π thankyou sian.
Losing your mum must be incredibly painful, and it's totally understandable that you'd feel alone and that every day is so hard to face. Grieving, especially someone so close, can take so much out of us, and it often feels endless - I can resonate with that feeling for sure. Have you had anyone to talk to about your mum and what she meant to you? Sometimes just being able to share those memories can help you feel a bit more connected to her, even if itβs hard at first.
I can see how difficult it is to hold onto hope when even things you once enjoyed, like drawing, feel draining. Is there anything small that sometimes helps, even a little? Maybe something that doesnβt need much energy but brings even a tiny bit of relief?
You're not letting yourself down and you're not a failure. Getting through each day when itβs this hard is already a huge achievement. Itβs okay to feel lost at 18 - so many people do, even if they donβt show it. Youβre not alone in that, and it doesnβt mean youβre failing.
Can you let us know if you're feeling like you can keep yourself safe today? How might you look after yourself today?
Since posting helps, maybe sharing a thread about moving out within the Home, Law & Money section of the boards could be a good place. But there's no wrong space for reaching out. Youβre not alone in this, and we really do care about you and are here to listen. Take it one step at a time.
You mentioned that you're fighting hard against those suicidal thoughts and I'm sending you so much strength @eylah. I know you mentioned earlier that you're feeling safe - is that still the case?
I'm hearing you have to stay inside today due to the pain you're in. How do you think you can take care of yourself this afternoon? Do you have any colouring books, or crafty bits, you could do? Or do you have a favourite tv show you could watch for a distraction?
Remember that if you're ever struggling to stay safe, please do reach out to these services below who are there for you:
im trying to keep myself safe and not listening to these thoughts. thankyou for letting me know where to post i appreciate it gemma β€οΈ. i just did some tidying up to try clear my mind bc im just trying to distract myself bc i know that helps me.
When you're lonely, what do you feel you crave most or need?
Also, are there any little corners or bits of your new flat that you enjoy? I'd love to hear more about your new home if you wanted to describe it to us a bit
they rang dad asking if im ok dad rang me rly angry but i blocked him now but it just upset me.
iβm so sorry to read what you are going through, i am always here if you need someone to talk to so pls feel free to message me if you want to!
hope youβre okayπ«Άπ»
When you're feeling anxious, what kind of thoughts race through your mind? Or maybe its more a feeling in your body?
I know for myself, when I feel lonely I really enjoy playing YouTube vlogs in the background because it helps me feel like I've got 'friends' around me. I wonder if that could be cosy for you too
Sending hugs, @eylah. I'm glad we can be here for you in this way.