Problems at home

TheNightmare

My family can be hard to deal with sometimes, especially over the years. I think it has improved, but they still aren't 100 percent. I admit I'm not perfect all the time and have said or done things I regret, and I probably will occasionally, as no one’s perfect. But sometimes my family can say or do things unprovoked, like calling me derogatory terms or using mental health conditions to put me down. They’ve doubted me, saying I'll never get a job, which really gets to me, especially given how I've been feeling. They haven’t criticized me in a while, but they can be harsh. They sometimes exaggerate things, too. For example, I occasionally get indigestion, and a while ago it was bad enough that I threw up. They claimed it was a condition, which made me worry, but it was really just indigestion. They can also say hurtful things when I’m feeling down. They do all this, then wonder why I’m quiet at home. They can be really nice too, I can enjoy spending time with them as well but it's just sometimes they can be not the best too. Is anyone in the same boat where they might sometimes have similar issues with family or maybe might have things maybe even a but worse?

I might delete this when I get a few replies but I just appreciate the support from here because sometimes I feel alone but I know when I can turn to here. I might just be a bit sensitive atm just due to things that have happened previously.

eylah

im so sry to hear this you deserve so much better then ppl saying hurtful things to you. have you told them how what they doing is causing you upset? im sending you so many hugs rn .

TheNightmare

eylah wrote: »

im so sry to hear this you deserve so much better then ppl saying hurtful things to you. have you told them how what they doing is causing you upset? im sending you so many hugs rn .

@eylah I've not told them I've been upset coz it could make things worse tbh but thanks so much, really appreciate it as always.

Gemma

I'm really sorry you're going through this @TheNightmare - it sounds like a complicated and emotionally draining situation. You’ve shared a lot here, and I just want to recognise the courage it takes to open up, especially when it feels so challenging.

It sounds like there are moments where you enjoy being with your family, but at times it’s just really hard, especially when hurtful things are said or past hurts resurface. It’s okay to feel conflicted about family, especially when there are both positive and negative experiences tied up in those dynamics.

When you say you've not told your family you've been upset by what they've done because it could make things worse, can you share a bit more about what worries you have?

TheNightmare wrote: »

But sometimes my family can say or do things unprovoked, like calling me derogatory terms or using mental health conditions to put me down. They’ve doubted me, saying I'll never get a job, which really gets to me, especially given how I've been feeling. They haven’t criticized me in a while, but they can be harsh. They sometimes exaggerate things, too. For example, I occasionally get indigestion, and a while ago it was bad enough that I threw up. They claimed it was a condition, which made me worry, but it was really just indigestion. They can also say hurtful things when I’m feeling down. They do all this, then wonder why I’m quiet at home.

Touching on this part of what you've shared^ - this isn't okay @TheNightmare. It's not okay for anyone to call us derogatory terms, or to put us down in this way. Nobody has the right to make you feel uncomfy, particularly in your own home. You deserve peace and safety.

TheNightmare

Gemma wrote: »

I'm really sorry you're going through this @TheNightmare - it sounds like a complicated and emotionally draining situation. You’ve shared a lot here, and I just want to recognise the courage it takes to open up, especially when it feels so challenging.

It sounds like there are moments where you enjoy being with your family, but at times it’s just really hard, especially when hurtful things are said or past hurts resurface. It’s okay to feel conflicted about family, especially when there are both positive and negative experiences tied up in those dynamics.

When you say you've not told your family you've been upset by what they've done because it could make things worse, can you share a bit more about what worries you have?

TheNightmare wrote: »

But sometimes my family can say or do things unprovoked, like calling me derogatory terms or using mental health conditions to put me down. They’ve doubted me, saying I'll never get a job, which really gets to me, especially given how I've been feeling. They haven’t criticized me in a while, but they can be harsh. They sometimes exaggerate things, too. For example, I occasionally get indigestion, and a while ago it was bad enough that I threw up. They claimed it was a condition, which made me worry, but it was really just indigestion. They can also say hurtful things when I’m feeling down. They do all this, then wonder why I’m quiet at home.

Touching on this part of what you've shared^ - this isn't okay @TheNightmare. It's not okay for anyone to call us derogatory terms, or to put us down in this way. Nobody has the right to make you feel uncomfy, particularly in your own home. You deserve peace and safety.

@Gemma Thanks for your understanding and for recognizing how difficult this situation is. I really appreciate it. You're right talking to them can be tough because they can be stubborn and often don’t show any remorse for their words. I worry that it might lead to more hurtful comments instead of resolving anything.

I completely agree that no one should make you feel uncomfortable, especially at home, where we should feel safe and at peace. It’s frustrating when those we care about don’t acknowledge the impact of their words and actions. I hope to find a way to navigate these conversations, but for now, I just need to prioritize my own well-being. Thanks a lot for replying I appreciate it.