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I was arrested
Faolan
Posts: 2 Newbie
I didn’t really want to talk about this. I was kind of hoping to process it myself but it’s been a couple of weeks now and I still can’t stop thinking about it. So maybe talking will help.
I’m not sure what I want from this post. I guess for someone to understand or at least try to understand . I think that will help me to feel less crazy for not letting this go 🥴 my family aren’t very supportive and are just telling me to get used to it lol.
Right now, im in a position that I swore to myself I’d never be in. Being a traveller is hard for me because I don’t feel like I fit in with the rest of my community. Their beliefs, morals and traditions fill me with rage and I spend so much of my life trying to prove to people that I’m not them . It feels like I’m not just another face to people, I’m the traveller and that comes with all of the things they’ve already decided about me and no matter how polite and kind I am, I can never stop the name calling and the looks I get. But I’ve always tried. Tried harder than anyone else I know.
Now after being arrested, Im sitting here, and it feels like everyone that’s ever doubted me is right here in the room, whispering behind their hands that they told me so.
How do you cope when you’ve spent your whole life trying to prove a point and you’ve just gone and proved everyone right in the matter of a couple hours ? What do I do from here?
I wanted this post to be about how I feel and not what actually happened but I’ve never actually explained my side of the story so maybe it will help. I put it in a spoiler because I waffle a bit and it’s kinda irrelevant to how I’m feeling.
TW for animal cruelty I think
I’m not sure what I want from this post. I guess for someone to understand or at least try to understand . I think that will help me to feel less crazy for not letting this go 🥴 my family aren’t very supportive and are just telling me to get used to it lol.
Right now, im in a position that I swore to myself I’d never be in. Being a traveller is hard for me because I don’t feel like I fit in with the rest of my community. Their beliefs, morals and traditions fill me with rage and I spend so much of my life trying to prove to people that I’m not them . It feels like I’m not just another face to people, I’m the traveller and that comes with all of the things they’ve already decided about me and no matter how polite and kind I am, I can never stop the name calling and the looks I get. But I’ve always tried. Tried harder than anyone else I know.
Now after being arrested, Im sitting here, and it feels like everyone that’s ever doubted me is right here in the room, whispering behind their hands that they told me so.
How do you cope when you’ve spent your whole life trying to prove a point and you’ve just gone and proved everyone right in the matter of a couple hours ? What do I do from here?
I wanted this post to be about how I feel and not what actually happened but I’ve never actually explained my side of the story so maybe it will help. I put it in a spoiler because I waffle a bit and it’s kinda irrelevant to how I’m feeling.
TW for animal cruelty I think
A social worker came to visit our community. They’ve been loads in my lifetime and they always bring police for safety. My family have always been fine with this and we’ve never had any problems until now. It was only me, the women and a couple of my cousins on the site. For context, all traveller communities have a ‘leader’ and whenever people on the outside want to talk to us they do through the leader. For us that’s my uncle. So when the police asked to speak with who’s in charge my cousins said that he’s away. My cousins were being awkward tbh so the police started knocking on trailers.
Not a chance would the women open doors for the police and my cousins were just being really awkward and hostile for no good reason. But it caused shouting and arguing between them and the police .
I have a little goat, like a tiny little fella. He usually does be in the paddocks but he was just out because my cousins goats bully him. So I say the shouting caused my goat to get spooked and he was after head butting the officer. The officer kicked my goat like pure hard and knocked him down and as he was trying to get back up the officer went to kick him again. So I put my hand on the officer like to put something between him and the goat, idk, it was stupid because I’m tiny and your man was a unit but I wanted to stop him hitting my goat again. There was NO force . I was just trying to stop the officer but because my cousins were shouting I say it was just .. idk like it was just an uncomfortable environment
Straight away your man restrained me, this caused basically everyone on the site to start kicking off and the more they kicked off the more the officer was bending my arms and he had his knee on my back. It felt horrible. he basically had me laying on grass like I was a monster or something . I got handcuffed and eventually took to the station and had to wait for my mam to come which felt bad because my sister was in hospital at the time and mam didn’t need the added stress .
I was let off with just a warning. Which is good because the whole situation was pathetic. I think the social worker reported the police because we didn’t. We had a letter that said they were after having an internal investigation which is protocol after a complaint. They said I was a “victim of an unnecessarily intense reaction to an already tense environment” . Duh. I understand and I forgive them like.. but Idk. It’s hard to say how I feel. It probably sounds stupid and like I should move on but it’s hard lol
Their letter was so validating . So idk why I do be feeling this way still
Not a chance would the women open doors for the police and my cousins were just being really awkward and hostile for no good reason. But it caused shouting and arguing between them and the police .
I have a little goat, like a tiny little fella. He usually does be in the paddocks but he was just out because my cousins goats bully him. So I say the shouting caused my goat to get spooked and he was after head butting the officer. The officer kicked my goat like pure hard and knocked him down and as he was trying to get back up the officer went to kick him again. So I put my hand on the officer like to put something between him and the goat, idk, it was stupid because I’m tiny and your man was a unit but I wanted to stop him hitting my goat again. There was NO force . I was just trying to stop the officer but because my cousins were shouting I say it was just .. idk like it was just an uncomfortable environment
Straight away your man restrained me, this caused basically everyone on the site to start kicking off and the more they kicked off the more the officer was bending my arms and he had his knee on my back. It felt horrible. he basically had me laying on grass like I was a monster or something . I got handcuffed and eventually took to the station and had to wait for my mam to come which felt bad because my sister was in hospital at the time and mam didn’t need the added stress .
I was let off with just a warning. Which is good because the whole situation was pathetic. I think the social worker reported the police because we didn’t. We had a letter that said they were after having an internal investigation which is protocol after a complaint. They said I was a “victim of an unnecessarily intense reaction to an already tense environment” . Duh. I understand and I forgive them like.. but Idk. It’s hard to say how I feel. It probably sounds stupid and like I should move on but it’s hard lol
Their letter was so validating . So idk why I do be feeling this way still
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Comments
I don’t really know what to say but I’m so sorry you had to experience that. They’ve called you a ‘victim’, which I doubt they do lightly. That police officer messed up. I’m so glad somebody at least realised that, but I know it doesn’t make it all ok. Being arrested is not something anyone wants to experience. And it must’ve been very sudden and such a shock when it happened. Plus with your sister being in hospital too, that’s a lot to be dealing with at once.
You got arrested because the police officer made a mistake and that’s so messed up. This isn’t something that shapes your identity or anything like that. The story is that you tried to protect your pet and then you were (literally in their words) ‘victim’ to that police officer.
It’s ok to take time to process it all, and it’s ok to feel everything you feel about it. I’m so sorry it happened🫂
I hope your mam, sister and goat (and you!) are all ok, and well done for reaching out. 💙
I understand how hard this must be for you. It’s tough when you’ve spent your whole life trying to prove you're different, and then something like this happens. The way things played out sounds really stressful, and it makes sense that you still feel upset, even though you were let off with a warning. Sometimes, even when we hear that we were right, it doesn’t take away the feelings right away. It’s okay to take your time to process everything. Talking about it can help, and you’re not wrong for feeling the way you do.