[deleted]

Rose113

[deleted]

Lucy_21

You are trying love and that counts for something. Just keep reminding her you are there for her, you care about her and no matter what she has you. I’m not sure about what to say for the help but you can for now until you get more experienced advice keep an eye on her, keep her talking and make sure she understands you are there for her

sinead276

you're being so strong @Rose113 and from what it sounds like, you're doing everything you can to help your friend. it's a lot of pressure to be under when trying to help your friend hurting the way they are. but you are doing all you can and you should be proud of yourself for that. i know it may be hard but perhaps there's ways you can ease her into the idea of seeking help from professionals of some form.

but remember to take care of yourself too and that you're mental health also matters in this situation. we are all here to support you too however we can. keep being amazing

sending hugs

JustV

sinead276 wrote: »

i know it may be hard but perhaps there's ways you can ease her into the idea of seeking help from professionals of some form.

but remember to take care of yourself too and that you're mental health also matters in this situation.

1000% on what @sinead276 said

I also want to mention that you may not be helping your friend in the long term if your interactions are unboundaried in that way. It may sound cold, but allowing someone to have some time or space without you there - even if they struggle - is an important part of them developing ways to manage on their own when they need to. If we never let them be alone, we rob them of their ability to build those skills for themselves. People tend to be more capable than we give them credit for and your friend will probably be okay without you for a time.

And if your friend is actively suicidal and at risk of harm or dying, the situation has already gone beyond what is safe for both of you. At that point, it's really important to involve other people to spread the responsibility for that person.

I would also encourage you to try and let go of the notion that you should (and that you can) control what other people do. You can be there for them, but when you're at the point of saying "I need to stop this person doing x" things can start to become a bit toxic.

Not to downplay your intentions @Rose113 - it's obvious you really wanna help this person, in my experience this is just a trap I've seen lots of folks fall into

Rose113

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Lucy_21

@JustV I’m sorry but what on earth, do you know how messed up what you just said is. You basically just said to let her friend die because some people use suiside to trap people. So does that mean everyone with depression should be just ditched to end it. Rose has come on this site because they trusted you all and believe me that takes a lot and in one comment you destroyed it. I don’t know what you’re intentions were with this comment but it clearly didn’t go well

Rose113

@Lucy_21 please delete your comment, you’ll get in trouble, I don’t care abt this thread, I shouldn’t of posted this thread, that’s my own fault, please don’t get yourself in trouble

Lucy_21

I don’t care if I get in trouble I’m not having anyone upset you like that when all you did was ask for advice I thought that was what this page was for. No one can get me in trouble for calling people out but if it will make you feel better I’ll do it for you

eylah

Lucy_21 wrote: »

@JustV I’m sorry but what on earth, do you know how messed up what you just said is. You basically just said to let her friend die because some people use suiside to trap people. So does that mean everyone with depression should be just ditched to end it. Rose has come on this site because they trusted you all and believe me that takes a lot and in one comment you destroyed it. I don’t know what you’re intentions were with this comment but it clearly didn’t go well

that is so rude. they was helping them not bring them down.. thats not nice to say abt just v especially when they was only trying to help rose.

Lucy_21

Please point out the part that HELPED her because I can’t find it and I know personally what she took from it you don’t

Lucy_21

Rose asked me to take it down so I don’t get in trouble but I don’t know how but when I figure it out I will but because she asked not so I don’t get in trouble because I know what I said and I know more than you think

Rose113

@lucy do u see a cog button ? On ur post press that and then press edit

JustV

@Lucy_21 you're very welcome to challenge posts written by others (mods included) - some of the best discussions on here are ones where different perspectives come together and the discussion gets very passionate. But it's important to assume good intentions in others and not be combative.

I won't say too much on this because Rose has deleted their original post. I hear that you're trying to support them, but I'm not trying to suggest that Rose is hurting anyone (I don't think they are). There are some signs here of an unhealthy dynamic between Rose and their friend that I wanted to highlight. Supporting other community members isn't just about affirming and encouraging them - sometimes it also means challenging what they say if we think it might be helpful.

@Rose113, I am sorry if my response upset you - that wasn't my intention. I'm approaching this with experience of being that 'therapist friend', so it honestly comes without judgement and with a lot of empathy for the position you're in. That could probably have been clearer in my post.

JustV

Because this conversation has been a bit derailed and the original post has been deleted, I'm going to close this thread for now. But for the record @Rose113 I don't think you were wrong to create it - these discussions are important to have, even if this one got a bit heated.