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Long post
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,120 Boards Champion
Hi, so I want to talk a bit about being unemployed because I have been struggling a bit recently just in life. I haven't been doing much since in September. So I have been unemployed a few times, when I left secondary school and I had a summer break then I ended up going to college but I wasnt used to it because I had a long time out so wasn't used to the routine of getting up and going back to college so I ended up quitting then this was the first time I wasn't doing much, it sucked not doing much, Ill explain more about it later in the post but it sucked so much I just ended up thinking Ill just have to go back to college again, the same one I quit. I didn't like it but didn't want to quit and go back to doing nothing. I didn't get kicked out of that course which was good. There were a few times by I came close to wanting to quit because I found it really difficult working with people dealing with certain staff and students as we didn't get on. But things seemed a bit better because I was doing something and busy. It was felt better being busy even though I didn't like college at all, I was still unhappy but atleast I was doing something.
Its just since September I ended up back not doing anything and its sucked. I think I can talk about how it feels not doing much and being unemployed as I have basicilly experienced it. Being unemployed sounded great, at first mostly when I finished college, it was nice. I didn't have to go to college or my job. I could sleep. All I wanted to, I could do whatever I wanted. I didn't have to worry about dealing with people like teachers nagging. It was like heaven especially as a teenager just out of school. Its just as time goes on it starts to wear off I became more and more down and especially now as an adult like it sucks probably from the start. Like from september I just wasn't doing much, I guess it was partly laziness, motivation maybe partly anxiety because college wasnt the best. I was just going in everyday, it just was boring, staff would sometimes fustrate me and like a lot students I didn't get on with. I had a few of, bad experiences in secondary school too which ngl were my fault sometimes. So from September I didn't really look for a job. I didn't even try, I didn't even go out there and hand out CVs. I just didn't have any motivation or determination to find a job. I just remembered the experience I had in school, and college. So I have not been doing much recently since September tbh I sometimes just sit at home on games and I sometimes get so down about it. Some days I dont see anyone. I didn't have many friends, the only people I sometimes speak with are my family and obviously they weren't happy about what I was doing. They would often say things like go and get a job. I feel like 1 day theyll all just come out and say they're going to kick me out if I don't change. I know they wouldn't actually kick me out but it would hurt my feelings just threatening too. Sometimes I think 1 day my famliy will come home when theyre in a really bad mood and just unleash everything. Basically say like "Its a waste of time, having a member of the family like this", "why don't you go and get a job like a normal person?", "Or I'm so ashamed of you".
People sometimes say that I don't work and I know its true atm but it was gets to me sometimes people talking about my situation. I guess my parents aren't really that strict because they don't really force me to find a job. They aren't like, if you don't go and get a job in the next two weeks, we kicking you out. I know some parents out there would be stricter, they might have kicked out their child by now if they didn't look for work, but my parents aren't really strictly kind of just let me do what I want in terms of that. I'm fortunate in that aspect with that. Its just I feel so worthless and useless sometimes about my situation. I feel like, Im not going out in society and people. Being unemployed I feel like it can be very damaging to mental health and its affected mine a bit. It can be damaging to my relationship with parents and could damaging to your financial situation. Like I live at home luckily so get provided stuff. I feel guilty sometimes that other people are working hard while im doing nothing and it can get boring. I sleep maybe 12 to 14 hours a day, I would wake up really late. Maybe midday and the rest is the remaining 10 hours of the day I would spend playing games. People suggest to get a job and I was like, no, I don't want to be stuck working 9 to 5. I thought a job won't make me happier, it will make me more miserable. I was thinking look what happened last time I changed and went to college. It completely felt pointless but it was better than doing nothing. When I left i didn't do anything like I wasnt paying house kerping in a situation or wasnt in a situation where I absolutely needed money desperately.
Now I realize that having a job isn't just about making a living, its important to save anyway and also having a job keeps you busy. It will also gives me a sense of purpose. It makes you feel like you're responsible adults. A member of society, this is satisfying sense of achievement after you finished a hard week of work and then you come home and relax and do things that costs money like travel. I won't feel guilty anymore about by myself few things now. And then with the money, I earned and I didn't really realize How important those things were until recently. So, after thinking feel more like working like it might take my time up but I can work towards other things in the future like everyone has to start somewhere plus working any job is better than hiding at home in my circumstances atm imo. I have noticed from not doing much the more I hide in my room and my house. And the less you interact with people, the harder it gets, I think I can kind of understand now. I heard a lot of people who have retired and they end up going back to work or looking for work or doing volunteer work I used to think why would you do that? You've retired. You don't have to work anymore. Why would you want to work? It's because working gives you a sense of purpose plus its extra money too. Anyway for me, I don't know what job I want to do but I'll have to have a think. Maybe like an apprenticeship. I don't even know aym. I don't have it all mapped out yet. I guess I can just take it one step at the time for the time being I just want to be able to do my job. Hopefully just find something, and then save my money and hopefully do something cool. I think I'll be ok from here, I think it's common to be in this position.
Its just since September I ended up back not doing anything and its sucked. I think I can talk about how it feels not doing much and being unemployed as I have basicilly experienced it. Being unemployed sounded great, at first mostly when I finished college, it was nice. I didn't have to go to college or my job. I could sleep. All I wanted to, I could do whatever I wanted. I didn't have to worry about dealing with people like teachers nagging. It was like heaven especially as a teenager just out of school. Its just as time goes on it starts to wear off I became more and more down and especially now as an adult like it sucks probably from the start. Like from september I just wasn't doing much, I guess it was partly laziness, motivation maybe partly anxiety because college wasnt the best. I was just going in everyday, it just was boring, staff would sometimes fustrate me and like a lot students I didn't get on with. I had a few of, bad experiences in secondary school too which ngl were my fault sometimes. So from September I didn't really look for a job. I didn't even try, I didn't even go out there and hand out CVs. I just didn't have any motivation or determination to find a job. I just remembered the experience I had in school, and college. So I have not been doing much recently since September tbh I sometimes just sit at home on games and I sometimes get so down about it. Some days I dont see anyone. I didn't have many friends, the only people I sometimes speak with are my family and obviously they weren't happy about what I was doing. They would often say things like go and get a job. I feel like 1 day theyll all just come out and say they're going to kick me out if I don't change. I know they wouldn't actually kick me out but it would hurt my feelings just threatening too. Sometimes I think 1 day my famliy will come home when theyre in a really bad mood and just unleash everything. Basically say like "Its a waste of time, having a member of the family like this", "why don't you go and get a job like a normal person?", "Or I'm so ashamed of you".
People sometimes say that I don't work and I know its true atm but it was gets to me sometimes people talking about my situation. I guess my parents aren't really that strict because they don't really force me to find a job. They aren't like, if you don't go and get a job in the next two weeks, we kicking you out. I know some parents out there would be stricter, they might have kicked out their child by now if they didn't look for work, but my parents aren't really strictly kind of just let me do what I want in terms of that. I'm fortunate in that aspect with that. Its just I feel so worthless and useless sometimes about my situation. I feel like, Im not going out in society and people. Being unemployed I feel like it can be very damaging to mental health and its affected mine a bit. It can be damaging to my relationship with parents and could damaging to your financial situation. Like I live at home luckily so get provided stuff. I feel guilty sometimes that other people are working hard while im doing nothing and it can get boring. I sleep maybe 12 to 14 hours a day, I would wake up really late. Maybe midday and the rest is the remaining 10 hours of the day I would spend playing games. People suggest to get a job and I was like, no, I don't want to be stuck working 9 to 5. I thought a job won't make me happier, it will make me more miserable. I was thinking look what happened last time I changed and went to college. It completely felt pointless but it was better than doing nothing. When I left i didn't do anything like I wasnt paying house kerping in a situation or wasnt in a situation where I absolutely needed money desperately.
Now I realize that having a job isn't just about making a living, its important to save anyway and also having a job keeps you busy. It will also gives me a sense of purpose. It makes you feel like you're responsible adults. A member of society, this is satisfying sense of achievement after you finished a hard week of work and then you come home and relax and do things that costs money like travel. I won't feel guilty anymore about by myself few things now. And then with the money, I earned and I didn't really realize How important those things were until recently. So, after thinking feel more like working like it might take my time up but I can work towards other things in the future like everyone has to start somewhere plus working any job is better than hiding at home in my circumstances atm imo. I have noticed from not doing much the more I hide in my room and my house. And the less you interact with people, the harder it gets, I think I can kind of understand now. I heard a lot of people who have retired and they end up going back to work or looking for work or doing volunteer work I used to think why would you do that? You've retired. You don't have to work anymore. Why would you want to work? It's because working gives you a sense of purpose plus its extra money too. Anyway for me, I don't know what job I want to do but I'll have to have a think. Maybe like an apprenticeship. I don't even know aym. I don't have it all mapped out yet. I guess I can just take it one step at the time for the time being I just want to be able to do my job. Hopefully just find something, and then save my money and hopefully do something cool. I think I'll be ok from here, I think it's common to be in this position.
Post edited by TheNightmare on
6
Comments
Have you looked into volunteering? It's very flexible and would help give you skills for a job, and it doesn't have to be a massive commitment - it could just be one hour a week. Or maybe something like offering a dogwalking/pet sitting service? It may help if you get something like a voluntary job as it might put your parents at ease as well as giving you something to do that gives back to the community. It sounds like your parents want the best for you and are possibly frustrated at the situation. Nevertheless it's still extremely difficult when there's strain on family relationships.
I currently volunteer at Oxfam where I price books/CD's/DVD's and put them on shelves, as well as various other tasks.
Do you think you'd want to go back to college? They may be able to help if you express your concerns, there are also a lot of hybrid/online courses available now too that may be of interest?
It's great that you've identified what's not going so well and possible solutions, it's just trying to think about what would work best for you.
Hope you're doing okay
Hi @lunarcat522 I think volunteering is good and stuff but I think its best if I get paid work even though it's flexible etc. I need to be busy but what sometimes gets to me is just how I'm not getting income so volunteering might help me get a job later but really I could do with getting income now. Maybe at some point I could do volunteering alongside working if I have time I'm not sure. Similar situation with college. I just want to start getting some money in really and building savings for the future and I could start buying stuff I want etc.
Hi @libbystrawberry I appreciate the advice but as was saying to the user I need a paid job as the priority really and maybe I could do volunteering alongside if I have time and want to. If I did just volunteering it would solve half of my issue by keeping me busy but I wouldn't be making money short term even though I might be in the end, do you get it? Part of the issue atm is I need an income so I could start saving.
I get it, just wondering have u been offered any interviews and what kinda jobs r u applying for
Not yet, I'm probably going to look at something car related