I've been homeschooled my entire life and now I'll be going to school. I'm honestly really scared

ItsElijahx

[THIS IS KIND OF A VENT/RANT/LOOKING FOR ADVICE/SUPPORT KIND OF POST SORRY IF THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE
Hi, I've been homeschooled my entire life and this has affected me drastically. I'm very uneducated and this has made me very suicidal. I've decided that I'm going to talk to my therapist about it and see if I can get sent to a school, but I'm honestly really, really scared. I'm supposed to be going to year 10 I think? But I don't think I can because of how uneducated I am so that's been really scaring me. I'm also scared that I'm gonna get bullied due to my lack of education and social skills, and I'm also trans so I'm scared that the school won't be accepting.

I'm not sure how my family is gonna react when they realise I've gone behind their backs and gotten my therapist and other people involved. I'm talking to my therapist this week and I'm so scared, I don't know if there's gonna be legal action against my mom or if my family is gonna start being abusive or what if I made a mistake and school actually makes me worse? I'm not used to schedules or being around kids my age. Being around kids my age really intimidates me and makes me really anxious since I think I have social anxiety . There's like 2 weeks before school starts, so I don't even have much time to prepare myself mentally and I've already got really shit mental health, and the only support I have rn is my online best friend. I just want my mom to support me and to help me through this but I don't think she will. I can't tell her about my plan due to the possibility of her freaking out and not letting me see my therapist. I don't even have much time to prepare myself to tell my therapist because once I tell her, it's done. I'll be going to school and there's nothing I will be able to do to change that. I'm so scared that I'm gonna regret this and my family will become abusive.

Laura_tigger82

Hey @ItsElijahx. You have done such a great job in reaching out to us. When you say "uneducated" would you like to share a little more with us about what this looks like for you? I can hear how difficult it is to feel like you recognise you need to go to a school, especially as you have been homeschooled and this is an uncertain and unfamiliar place for you.

You deserve just as much acceptance as anyone else and it sounds really difficult that you feel you would not be accepted. Do you feel able to talk to anyone else about your fears? You deserve all the support you need. It sounds like it is being made worse for you by how close the next academic year is. It might be worth noting that you don't have to do this in September.

You can do this at your own pace, with support and, hopefully, this will make you feel a little more comfier and safer. Please don't hesitate to let us know if there's anything we can do to help - we are all here for you and with you

ItsElijahx

@Laura_tigger82
By uneducated, I mean I can't do foundation maths. I've never learned science. I have no clue what biology and space and physics are. I was raised as a flat earther too so that really stunted my science education. I'm alright with English, although I need to improve and my history is bad as well since I wasn't really taught much and my mom mostly taught me conspiracies instead of actual factual history.

I can talk to my online friend about my fears, and I think my therapist but I can't talk to my family about it. I sometimes talk to my uncle who's a counselor but he also talks to my mom so it's a lil awkward. He's just been talking to us both together because I talked to my mom about school and we both argued and got really mad and I had a really scary breakdown.

What do you mean I don't have to do this in September? I thought I had to enroll at the start of the school year? I can't wait another year.

Thank you for replying

lunarcat522

@ItsElijahx It can be really scary starting school, especially if you've been homeschooled. Maybe you or your therapist could contact the school you're planning on going to, to take a look around the school for a tour in advance just before the term starts? You could maybe ask for coursework in advance just to have a look over? Starting school is really difficult for a lot of people so you're not alone in this. You can always talk to me if you're struggling, I have social anxiety disorder myself so I understand how daunting this must feel. You could see if the school could arrange to have someone for you to talk to about classes and help get you settled in if this would help. There's lots of accommodations schools can provide so I'd have a talk through with your therapist about what might work best for you. As for feeling uneducated about certain subjects, you could find some textbooks from your local library to get an idea of each subject but no pressure!

There are some good educational videos and websites out there, BBC Bitesize is a good place to start and has simple explanations for many subjects and levels. Crash Course is also quite good for explanations but just bear in mind it's intended for American students. Primrose Kitten on Youtube covers subjects such as Science and Maths at GCSE and A-level. Seneca learning is good for learning various subjects. Simple History and Oversimplified are good video channels for understanding events in history, which I've found really useful in my own studies as I struggle with history!

https://bbc.co.uk/bitesize/secondary
https://thecrashcourse.com/
https://youtube.com/@Primrose_Kitten
https://app.senecalearning.com/dashboard
https://youtube.com/@Simplehistory
https://youtube.com/@OverSimplified

These are some other general revision sites:
https://snaprevise.co.uk/
https://www.revisely.co.uk/alevel
https://www.sparknotes.com/

Try not to overwhelm yourself, I'm sure your school and therapist will help settle you in.

Dancer

@ItsElijahx If you are struggling with being able to do Maths, there is always the option of doing Entry Level or Functional Skills which then can help you to work towards a qualification. Not all schools offer that though so you will have to check with the school. I think they might also do that for Science as well then you can begin to learn the basics. I don't know if you actually have to do Science but Maths and English are both definitely compulsory to do as GCSE's. You might have to do it but you don't necessarily need to pass it to progress to A-Levels.

Dancer

Also, you get many students who join schools part way through the year and you don't necessarily need to join in the September. It would usually be at the start of a term although some schools are okay with students joining part way through a term. Someone in my year came to my school part way through a term but she was having issues at her old school.

Laura_tigger82

As @Dancer says @ItsElijahx, you can start partway through the school year. I, once, needed to start a different school part way through a school year (due to bullying) and this was okay and they assigned me "buddies" to make me feel more comfortable. However, I am conscious that more people are aware of September's start. How does it feel to talk to your counsellor and online friend about how you are feeling? It is really positive to hear you feel able to talk to some people about how you are feeling - even if this is not everyone

Terry8936

@ItsElijahx It's completely normal to feel scared and anxious about making such a significant change in your life, especially when it comes to transitioning from homeschooling to attending school. Many people go through periods of change and transition, and with the right support, you can work through these challenges and find a path forward that works for you. Don't hesitate to reach out to professionals, friends, or any available support systems to help you through this process. Your well-being is important, and seeking help is a sign of strength.

Alwayshope2day

@ItsElijahx Starting school can feel like a really shaky time, particular when it's a shift to a new style or environment of learning. When it feels scary, it doesn't mean it's the wrong choice for you. Having support from your therapist sounds like a good idea so you can talk through the changes and the feelings it brings. It takes time to get settled in and sometimes more time to feel settled.
But school can also bring unexpected joys: new friends, supportive teachers, interesting work, overcoming challenges, and laughs.
I remember at my school a friend of mine became trans during school and the school and the pupils were supportive. Look for the people who support you and accept you and don't judge you for finding the work challenging. In school we always helped each other in mathematics- we needed each other so don't be hard on yourself for needing help. Everyone needs help- that's why there are teachers )

Few tips for handling schedules I've used over the years: Print it out and stick it in a log book in the front cover, look over it at the end of the week for the coming week and the day before: The more you become familiar with it, the less daunting it will become.

With time all the new changes will become normal and familiar. Keep talking to your therapist and us to help make those changes feel more comfortable!
Good luck for the start of term!