Does anyone else feel safer and calmer while in hospital?

spacedog

I feel like it would benefit myself, I just want to know if anyone else has had experience admitting themselves and what it's like? I want to do that but the last time I asked I was denied so I was thinking of going down more drastic measures to do so.

Emma_

Thankyou for being so open here @IainJammyboy. I can hear how things might feel calmer if you were in hospital right now. It's good to hear that you're thinking about what things might benefit you right now to stay safe and as well as possible. Whilst hospital can be a very chaotic place, I can understand that having people to help you stay safe physically can be quite relieving.

I'm wondering if you'd feel comfortable to elaborate a bit on what you mean by "more drastic measures" ? Being in hospital is a last resort for many and we know how tricky it can be to get the support you need before that point. But we want to make sure you're safe and not putting yourself at any risk

How are things feeling today?

spacedog

TW


@Emma_ I am really not sure anymore how I feel. I was told by the NHS I just have to wait on the decade long waiting list and my parents told me that I refuse any help from them and then they told me to be thankful for what God gave me - my parents are Christians but I wouldn't associate myself with that. I'm just feeling so so hopeless about this all and by 'taking drastic measures', I meant by a botched suicide attempt to at least get in the hospital - I've tried showing up in a and e and speaking to everyone I can but I just keep getting sent home with no support, and I really am ready to put myself at risk just to get better. I understand how messed up it is not only for me and my family, but for others that need those beds but I really don't want to wind up dead because of no support. I just don't know what to do about all this

spacedog

@Emma_ I guess I'm just waiting for someone to give me the go sign because I have tried absolutely everything under the sun - crisis team, psychiatric nurse, psychiatrist, compassionate distress response team, NHS 24, a and e, GP, mental welfare office - everything. Everywhere I go I feel like I might be getting somewhere but it's always a dead end or just get shut down. I really don't want to die but I want to be safe and just stable because this has just gotten so bad with no support that I'm willing to put my body on the line to be listened to, it's ridiculous - and even that doesn't fucking work. I just want to be able to live in peace in any way necessary

HarryT

Hey @IainJammyboy - Harry here 👋. You've been really brave to share how you're feeling with us in this space. We're here for you.

I can hear how frustrated you are feeling at the moment and I'm really sorry that you haven't been able to access the support that you deserve. Could you share a little bit more with us about what a 'go sign' could look like for you?

We can hear how difficult things are but also that you have that desire to keep yourself safe. Would you feel able to share some of the things that you could do to keep yourself safe? If you'd find chatting that through helpful then we're here for you.

Hearing what you've said about wanting to keep yourself safe, I've also shared some information below about organisations that you could contact if you do feel as though you get to a point where you would like to access some crisis-level support:

Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
Samartians (24/7) | call 116 123 | email jo@samaritans.org
Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email pat@payrus-uk.org
Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
Childline | call 0800 11 11

Take care,
Harry

spacedog

@HarryT thank you. I'm not in as bad a state of mind as I was yesterday but I'm sure that won't last - when I put a 'go sign' in that comment I meant it last night as someone encouraging me to go ahead with my plan that I had in my other comment. I feel quite good today but I know at some point soon it will completely switch as usual. I do try keep myself busy which helps distract my thoughts but it doesn't get rid of any of these hallucinations - like yesterday, I was still hearing these voices from a distance and I saw them a few times too, it's terrifying and I can't get it out of my head, but they only hang around in the wee area around my house where I live, that's why I feel safer out width.

yana

Hey @IainJammyboy haven't spoken to u in a while, hru? Idk if this is gonna be helpful at all but I might as well share my experience so u can gain some more perspective/understanding or something. My stay in the hospital was fairly brief tbh and it was in june 2021 when I wasn't in a great place so I honestly don't remember it in much detail but personally I did feel more calm there. I don't know how to explain it but yeah I felt safer and I felt scared but I felt cosy in the hospital bed like everythign was going to be ok (although the cosiness may have just been bcs I had my teddy lol). I don't even know what I'm rambling about atp but yeah I hope ur ok and I'm here if u wanna ramble or vent or anything. I really hope these voices and hallucinations leave you alone soon but you're doing really well at the moment, like it must be horrible but you should be proud of yourself for fighting it ig. Sending hugs!

hastings1066

I am currently in hospital, I had a mental breakdown and I have to see a mental health doctor before they send me home. I live with foster carers, hospital is definitely a safer place for me and the baby I am carrying. I hope that you get the help that you need for the hallucinations.

spacedog

@Xee thanks, everythings really up and down constantly but having a good day today - just focusing on the small things and so I decided to change our my violin strings after 6 months and I love the new strings, can't stop playing lol. I swear you've got me addicted to hugging my old teddy bears, it is so incredibly relaxing. I can't wait for all this stuff to go away, I can't wait until that point

spacedog

@hastings1066 I'm sorry to hear that - but I am so glad that you're safer. I hope you get the help that you need and I really do hope that things get better for you ❤️

spacedog

@Xee I am also seeing my CPN on Wednesday, so I'll ask her about this being a possibility and I'll definitely let you know how it goes

yana

Aw I'm glad u had a good day yesterday @IainJammyboy And yeah haha hugging teddies really is just incredibly lovely and comforting. And yeah defo let me know how wednesday goes!!