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TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 2,477 Boards Champion
edited November 26 in Work & Study
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Post edited by TheMix on

Comments

  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,836 The Mix Elder
    Hi @FordRanger, I'm very sorry to hear that you have been feeling a bit down and unmotivated lately. I just wanted to mention that it is okay to feel unsure about what you want to do. I woulden't worry too much about the future as there will be plenty of time to do things that you want to do. Sometimes, when we think about the future it can make us feel anxious and scared. The thing is you still got time to think about what you want to do as you are young, and you got a lot of time to think about what you would possibly like to do.

    I also noticed that you mentioned about not having a gf and still living at home. Things do take time to happen and they often dont happen as quickly as we think they do, or want them to. Have you tried going to any clubs or group activities in your area?. This could be a good place to start. I also know there are lots of dating websites too you could use if you are currently looking for a relationship.

    I'm sorry to hear that you feel like you have no one to talk to at the moment and that you have been dealing with a lot of family issues. It can be hard when you feel like you have got no one to talk to about how you are feeling and this can cause anxiety too. I just wanted to say that I am always on here if you ever want to talk about anything in particular or need some support :).

    I understand that college must have been tough for you and you didn't really enjoy it there. I noticed you said about getting a job, and that sounds very interesting. I know that if you are interested in a job, there should be a lot of summer jobs you can get at the moment. I know a website called Indeed and it shows jobs online in your local area and this also includes jobs that are part time. I know volunteering can also be another thing and it can be very good to put onto your cv for experience. A lot of places nowadays offer volunteering. It's a great way of learning experience and also getting to socialise with others and make friends. (I have done something similar with volunteering where I volunteered in a charity shop, and it helped to boost my confidence skills).

    I hope this helps, sending hugs

    Amy22 <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,087 Boards Champion
    edited November 26
    FordRanger wrote: »
    [deleted]

    Hey, I hear you. We have a choice of so many things to do that it's hard to know what to choose! If you don't know exactly what you want to do, that's okay - you're not alone in feeling that. It sounds like things aren't easy for you at the moment. I think getting a job will be a useful tool here - you'll start making some progress to figuring out what you want to do, you'll meet people on the job, dating is much easier when you're earning money, and you'll be able to afford to move out (if that's something you want to do).

    First things first, I think that you should consider why you want to do all this. Figuring out the reason and purpose that you want to work helps us to generate that motivation, and I think that's a very useful asset to have. What do you care about, and how does getting a job help you to achieve those goals or care for those things/people?

    I think it's good to explore options - what kind of things do you like? What are your strengths/weaknesses? Prefer an office job, or something on the go? Do you like dealing with people? What do people you know, or those you find interesting, do for a living? There's some good tests online that help you to figure this out, but there are also some career advisors out there that can help here.

    However, I also think it's important to be practical. While you're figuring this out, you still need to start earning money and get experience. It doesn't have to be in the industry you want to be in, but doing something is better than nothing. Crucially, doing some kind of job also helps you to figure out what you want - maybe you thought that you couldn't deal with people, but you find out that you're pretty good at it! Thinking helps you figure out some career stuff, but I find that nothing beats actual experience.

    Those are a few things off the top of my head, but happy to talk about this more over PM if you'd find it useful!
    Post edited by TheMix on
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  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    This sounds so exhausting and daunting for you @FordRanger and I certainly won't pile on, on top of some already brilliant pieces of advice. I was wondering how you would feel about either of these choices 1) working in a retail/hospitality/minimum wage job just to give yourself the room to breathe and think about what makes you happiest in the work environment without the stakes being as high as if you were to apply to apprenticeships 2) volunteering in a sector you find interesting and cool, of course there is not much in the way of payment, but it could allow you to explore your passions with a bit more flexibility.

    Fundamentally, both of these ideas are short-term ideas that are rooted in giving yourself time to explore next steps. It's often hard to consider what direction to head in after college because there is a lot of pressure to 'find yourself' quickly. But sometimes this leads to us making decisions we aren't even happy with for the sake of feeling successful. I know this advice is often a cliché to hear, but you deserve to let yourself breathe for a bit before forcing yourself to make a quick decision <3
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    Hey @FordRanger

    Thanks for sharing. I think in this day and age we put so much pressure on ourselves to be successful, whether that be career or relationships, to have done things by a certain age etc. Like AislingDM said, rushing to get into things could in turn make you feel more unhappy because you are not feeling fulfilled in that job. Jobs can be good to fill time, meet new people, earn money, but you can also feel very trapped. It depends what you want from it really. There is no pressure to figure out your life just yet, you've just finished college so give yourself time. After all, people change career paths in their 50's.

    It may be a good exercise to write your name in the middle of a sheet of paper, and do a mind map of yourself. Anything that springs to mind, any interests you have, it could be something as small as what your favourite colour is. I did this through lockdown and it helped me to gain some insight into myself and what I was all about. Then you can see what jobs are out there for what you have written down.

    Travelling to a new place may offer you insight into what you want to do next?

    If you feel up to it, would you be able to elaborate more on the family issues you have had?

    It's so important to live in the moment and not get caught up with pressures or anxieties of the future <3

    Take care and good luck with everything
  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    Hey @FordRanger , just wanted to check in and see how you've been feeling over the past couple of weeks? Here if you'd like to talk some more <3
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  • TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 2,477 Boards Champion
    edited November 26
    [deleted]
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,307 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @FordRanger. Glad to hear you are ok at the moment. Your update sounds really positive.

    How are you currently finding starting the motor vehicle course at your college's other campus? We are here for you if you would like to share more with us :)
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
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  • TheNightmareTheNightmare Posts: 2,477 Boards Champion
    edited November 26
    [deleted]

    Post edited by TheMix on
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