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Feeling down worried about my future
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,273 Boards Champion
I didnt know if I put this in the right category. I'm feeling stressed and stuff because I don't know if im going to do well I'm life like get a good job and earn good money and be happy. People have doubted me in the past and they were right sometimes. People said I wouldn't pass my gcses, people said I wouldn't get this apprenticeship and they were right about them. People have been positive too but I keep blocking them out and doubting myself. I think I just have a negative mindset because of things not going well in the past and feel incapable. I just can't stop worrying about my future.
I often lose sleep and sometimes I don't get much at all then by the time I'm falling asleep I have college so I have to go there. Like I'm at college now, I don't really like it, I have been to schools most of my life then finished school and went to college. There was schools I didn't like and college I don't really like its just so boring and i feel like its never ending because now I'm going to have to get a job I don't like. I feel like it could even be worse than school or college because its 9 to 5 instead of college 9 till 3 or 9 till 4 plus college is only a few days a week, a job will be more. I know this is what most people have to do but I have a lot of friends or family who are self employed or have a job they like and I want to be self employed but I feel incapable of it.
I often lose sleep and sometimes I don't get much at all then by the time I'm falling asleep I have college so I have to go there. Like I'm at college now, I don't really like it, I have been to schools most of my life then finished school and went to college. There was schools I didn't like and college I don't really like its just so boring and i feel like its never ending because now I'm going to have to get a job I don't like. I feel like it could even be worse than school or college because its 9 to 5 instead of college 9 till 3 or 9 till 4 plus college is only a few days a week, a job will be more. I know this is what most people have to do but I have a lot of friends or family who are self employed or have a job they like and I want to be self employed but I feel incapable of it.
Post edited by JustV on
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Comments
Worries about the future, although scary, is something that many of us struggle with, myself included, so I hope this makes you feel a little less alone in this. School and college can often make you feel as though there is a rush to be successful and know what you want to do straight away, but this is not always the case for all of us and that's okay! After leaving school I took 2 years gap just learning about myself, working part time, I didn't find what I wanted to do until a took some of the pressure off of myself (but I still have a little wobble now and then but that's fine just as long as I'm not super hard on myself which is hard sometimes). What helped me was talking to people about my concerns (so chatting about it on here is a great start!), speaking to a career advisor (this helped me review different options and avenues that I could take and put a plan in action to get there) and spending time doing things that I love, for me that was exercise and spending time with my friends. Do you have any hobbies or interests that you enjoy doing? (it can be literally anything, even watching your favourite film or series!)
It must have been really difficult to hear negative feedback from people regarding your GCSEs and apprenticeship, I understand how criticism like this must have felt really disheartening. It does sound like you have people that believe in you, even though sometimes its hard to listen to positives when we aren't feeling good, surrounding yourself with good people can really help lift you up when you're feeling low. It's okay to need support from our loved ones sometimes.
I am sorry to hear that you are struggling to sleep, this must make going to college and thinking about the future even harder if you are tired. Sometimes its good to have a routine before bed to help you unwind, I always try to stay off my phone and read a book for an hour before going to bed as this helps take my mind off some of the worries I've had in the day and relax me ready to sleep. There are also some good tips on the mix article page about managing stress (unfortunately I can't add hyperlinks right now).
Thank you again for reaching out
Studying can be so stressful and overwhelming, so you're not alone with this feeling at all - it's a lot of pressure doing well in your GCSEs and getting good grades since plenty of us have been told that you'll be fine in the future by doing this, even though there are alternate options available. I'm so sorry that you've heard negative words from others, it can really take a toll on your wellbeing, so I understand how difficult it is for you to see the positives. Do you have anyone who you can talk to about this? Our community is here to lift you up and give you support as well
@Rosebud22 has given some great support ^^ speaking to a careers advisor and doing your hobbies may help
https://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/stress-mental-health/coping-with-stress-5599.html
And since you mentioned that you've been struggling to sleep, you may find this article helpful:
https://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/looking-after-yourself/how-can-i-sleep-better-at-night-45157.html
Hoping everything gets better for you
Hi, i appreciate the advise and its good to meet you too. I do have hobbies like driving, sometimes games but not too much, I watch YouTube vids a lot too. I spoke to career advisors. I just hope people who are positive aren't just yes men or women. I hope the negative people are wrong too and I could prove them wrong. Hopefully everything will be good for me
Hi yh it sucks so much when getting bad grades and everything. It effected my self worth when I got my mock results and did shit.
I hear you when you mention getting bad grades, doing shit on your mock results and everything. Would you like to tell us more about what bad grades, doing shit on your mock results and everything looks like for you?
It sounds really tough that it affected your self-worth. What usually helps you to manage these difficult feelings?
It is really positive that you have hobbies like driving, sometimes games and watching YouTube and have spoken to career advisors. You also sound really determined which is always great to hear.
Keep pushing forwards and please feel free to continue letting us know how you are doing. We are all here for you
Hi, the bad grades made me feel like I'm dumb and stuff. I decided to stop going in to lessons because I did a few mocks and they were bad. I just went home when I had them lessons because maths was last lesson so instead of doing 2 hours of that I went home and English was during before my lunch break so instead of going to the lesson I went home for 3 hours then came back to college for my course. I was doing maths and English alongside my foundation course but I just go in for the course now. For the proper exams I didn't turn up for either because it would have fucked up my confidence.
I say this a lot that don’t want to do anything I don't like. For example college or schools I went to I just didn't like I just dont want to be in a job like that all my life where staff tell me off or my boss because that's what's happened at previous schools and colleges.
I'd also like to reflect what others have said in this thread that you should try your best not to focus on the negatives and people who are doubting you, you never know how something will turn out unless you try! Something else to keep in mind is that even if you do mess something up there's no reason you simply can't pick yourself up and try again, everybody makes mistakes from time to time after all.
None of us know how our future will look like, and what counts as a 'good life' is different from person to person. It's natural to think about the future - school is fairly structured whereas life after university isn't, so that lack of structure can feel isolating. But that's also a reason for hope - you can pursue your own idea of a 'good life', and there's a reassuring sense of treading your own path to achieve it. You get to define what that looks like, and what steps you take to work towards it. For some, it's a six-figure salary; for others, it's moving to a dream city; and so on. If you don't know yet, that's fine - you'll figure out some of it along the way!
Your sleep is definitely something to check out soon - what keeps you from getting enough sleep? Do you find yourself thinking a lot at night? Using screens before you sleep? Or maybe it's something to talk to your doctor about.
On jobs, you absolutely don't have to get a job you don't like! I'd recommend finding a careers advisor - your college may have one, or there are plenty outside of education. They are really useful in helping you to figure out what you might like to do. Once you've got that, it's honestly a case of trying things out - our generation changes jobs a lot, so we have the luxury of being to try different roles and firms out. Don't worry if you don't find your dream role straight away! Or, if you want to go down the self-employed role, that's also a great option! In that case, you might want to have a think about what kind of work you'd want to do - it's a lot of work as you're also effectively a business owner, but can be very fulfilling! There's lots of resources online on how to do self-employment right, so I'd definitely recommend giving those a look over. Of course, there's nothing to say you can't try both employment and self-employment and seeing what you like best.
Hope that helps. You've got this
Hi, I appreciate the advice. I lose sleep because I stress about loads of things like my future or general stuff and I feel like sometimes I think about it a lot in bed.