If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
My parent's mental health
Former Member
Posts: 2 Newbie
Hi all. I'm SXJ, I'm new to this community and I'm just hoping someone can offer some sense of community and support as I feel quite isolated. I'm a University student in my final year, but I'm currently at home with my parents for the Christmas period. I'm only here for 3 weeks (I have been back a week and a half), and I'm really struggling. Christmas was lovely, albeit overwhelming at times, but my parents have really poor mental health. I find the home environment triggering as a result, because when I left home, I accessed therapy and made a lot of progress, but being back here makes me feel like a child again and puts me back in a position where I feel a sense of duty to support my severely depressed parents, who also suffer from alcoholism. They don't expect me to help them, I'm by no means a carer, but I struggle with boundaries and empathy. I thought I'd made progress with these issues in my therapy, but being back here is really challenging and I don't know what I can do to be there for my parents, while also looking after myself and allowing my life, my career progression and my happiness, to grow.
Tagged:
1
Comments
Sorry to hear that you are struggling. I think you've done a great job looking after your parents and so let's give yourself some credits for it. Do you find some concepts you learned from your therapy also helpful for them? Maybe it is helpful to share?
Boundaries are really important. We need to take care of ourselves first in order to take care of others. Otherwise we cannot be of any help. Have you done any self-care while trying to help your parents? I know it is hard but we cannot solve our parents' problem on our own. Do your parents have professional support in place as well? Sometimes it is hard to separate a parent's problem from your own problem, but we are on the way of trying to do that. Have you got other support from university or your friends?
You've done a really good job reaching out and we are here to listen.
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
This does sound like a very difficult situation for you and I completely understand your feelings. I agree that it could be helpful to discuss your own experiences in therapy with them, if you're both comfortable with this. It sounds like you're doing your best with trying to be there for them, but try not to put too much pressure on yourself to make them feel better as it's difficult to do this alone. If you have any siblings or close family you feel comfortable with, perhaps it might be a good idea to reach out to them so you have support for yourself while you're at home, especially if they know the situation?
Welcome to The Mix community. It is great to see you have joined us
I am sorry to hear you are feeling isolated. I think you have done the right thing in reaching out to us.
I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out. However, I think we are a supportive and friendly community and I hope you will find the same!
How is university going for you? especially since you are in your final year.
Do your parents have mental health support in place? For instance, have they been to their GP?
I am sorry to hear that you have felt this way being at home with your family. Things sound really tough for you.
Please be reassured though that this does not define you or the progress you have made.
Instead, it reflects the interactions you have with your family (the helpee role you have!).
It must be really tough to manage the balance but please know you have all the tools you need and we are listening to you and care about you