Sibling Relationships

Former Member

I've never lived with my sister, we have a 10 year age gap (she's 10). We both class ourselves as only children but I have contact with her.

I've always wanted a sibling so when she was born I was super excited.

We've never had a chance to bond, I met her as a baby and some further times over the years but nothing consistent. Sometimes Christmas and my birthday.

I really just want to know how to form some sort of bond with her. She's so shy and awkward and I never know what to talk about. It's so awkward and I really just want it to be not so awkward.

We share the same dad but different mum's. My mum and dad hate each other. My dad is very overbearing with my sister, I know she's young but he has to come into people's houses and "settle her" before leaving. It just makes it incredibly uncomfortable.

My dad doesn't know I went into care, he doesn't know anything about me. It's just such an uncomfortable dynamic to work with.

I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Former Member

Hi @Anch0r33 that sounds really tough, but lovely that you want to form a bond with your sister.

Do you think you could try and find out (maybe from your dad?) or from her directly - what does she really like? You could then ask her some questions about that? Like if there’s a particular film / tv series / game that she likes, it might be good to sit down and watch or play together or at least have a conversation about it?

I think it’s easier to talk about something you love vs trying to think of random stuff, which can really help bonding, hence that suggestion! What do you think?

lovemimoon

Heya!
I agree with @Lucy307

Ask her about her hobbies and interests.
See if you can make a session out of it! For instance, if she likes watching movies/TV shows, make it a TV night!
Game nights may also help alleviate the awkwardness! Simple board games like Ludo, Monopoly or card games like UNO!

Hope everything works out!

Former Member

Thank you both @Lucy307 and @lovemimoon

I'm definitely keen to do this, although I rarely actually see her in person. She lives over an hour away which doesn't seem like much in the great scheme of things but it's difficult.

I also don't have the strongest relationship with my dad - he left when I was 6 months old and I've never lived with him since. He rarely bothers to see me and even forgot my birthday previously.

It's so frustrating but I'm really trying to make the effort here.

I even met his parents and my cousin's on my dad's side last Christmas.

It's really hard being alienated from the family. I really just wish I had a normal upbringing.

I know my sister is super into anime, I just know nothing about anime or even where to start.

lovemimoon

@Anch0r33

OH.
OH.

If she's super into anime, I can help you with that definitely!

Former Member

Damn well here we are @lovemimoon I'd be forever grateful

lovemimoon

No worries @Anch0r33

One of the most popular animes to this day is Attack On Titan. There are others too but we'll start slow.
When you have the time, definitely watch it!

Former Member

Okay so she defo likes Attack On Titan @lovemimoon she was telling me about Eren and posted on her Snapchat story about her crying when he died? Who even knows.

She's big into drawing anime which is cool as I used to draw manga. Might be time to pull the drawing pad out again to share with her

lovemimoon

That's awesome @Anch0r33
Let us know how it goes!

Wish you the best of luck!

Former Member

Love that @Anch0r33 it sounds like it’s working already!!! Keep us posted with how you get on with her 💜