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also just a note to say that if nothing else, i promise jury service isn’t so bad. it’s a lot of sitting around. in many ways i found it was less demanding than being at home. you don’t get to sit in a chair for six hours and stare blankly into space anywhere else! x
edit: sorry!! looks like in Scotland you need proof of good reason for deferral too, my bad!! that sucks, i didn’t have to give reason
feel better soon my dear x
Sending lots of hugs, it’s really good that you’ve posted, no one should have to deal with things alone and we’re always happy to listen.
You’re trying your absolute best and we can all see that, reaching out here shows how hard you’re trying.
I know you say you haven’t felt like a great person lately but despite your struggles you’ve continued to help people here. You’ve helped me so much.
If sometimes all you can do is open your eyes, that’s ok. It doesn’t make you any less worthy of love or support.
Always happy to listen if you ever need anything
Today hasn’t been much better. I honestly don’t know what to do or where to go next because right now it feels like nothing will change.
Sorry if you don't want to mention specifics but is there anything in particular that's been stuck on your mind while you've been feeling like this?
All the best as always
Also phoned the number on the jury service letter and the woman said I have to email them and wait for a reply to see if I need a note from my GP for excusal. She said I might not need one but need to email the jury person she gave me an email address. I hoped she could just tell me either way over the phone whether I need a note but apparently not and it’s just so uncertain.
But the positive I see there is that you're going to be able to avoid the stressful jury situation regardless. Be it easy without the GP note, or a little harder with, you're still not going to have to worry about it any more soon.
That’s true about the jury thing I just hate having that uncertainty there about what the response to my email will be. If I’d definitely needed a note from the GP I’d rather get it over and done with. But now I have to email someone and then they’ll no doubt take ages to reply (it took me a few tries to get through on the phone).
The sadness never ends either.
Well if you want to get it out of the way, there's nothing to say you can't just get the note anyway? If you have it and don't end up needing it that's fine ^^ a small price to pay for lowering you anxieties a little.
I've noticed that too. When everything else gets too overwhelming and difficult to think about, it seems sadness and exhaustion start to take over instead. I guess they're just feelings that are easy for us to understand.
I guess I could just get the note, I just like to know where I stand and it’s horrible not knowing. It’s just the worst timing possible.
I’m honestly really overwhelmed atm and you’re right about those being feelings I know and I always get like this and it’s shit.
I get that. Having no energy but it's almost like there's an immense pressure to sleep - sleep to stop all the thoughts. So it starts racing through your head while you toss and turn. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. It's infuriating, and I've found the only way to address it is to get up for 30 minutes and try to reset as best you can. Rinse and repeat because it's impossible to stay awake forever.
Just wanted to check in to see how you are feeling? We are all here for you
Thank you for sharing with us. Please don't apologize for reaching to us! It's what we're here for.
I understand how difficult it is to be experiencing intrusive thoughts like this, and your feelings are completely understandable.
Echoing what others have said here, it's okay to reach out for support. By opening up about what's on your mind, you're already doing the first step of reaching out for the help and support you deserve. Even if it feels like you've spoken about this to death, you've repeated yourself one too many times, etc. You're not burdening anyone with your struggles at all.
This is understandable. I feel the same way when I speak to younger people. It's a heavy topic for some, but for others it's their reality. Hopefully, she understands or has an idea of what you're going through and respects your space.
Sending lots of hugs and support!
I’ve had ok ish days and bad days. Today has been a struggle but I’m trying to keep distracted.
I'm sorry you're struggling at the moment.
As long as you're getting by.
We're here for you.