I’m fine. Well mostly but not fully.

Starlight

I couldn’t sleep last night so thought I would try and write out how was I feeling but I ended up with this, so I thought I would share:

I’m fine. Well mostly but not fully. See I thought I was fine, then a piece fell away, and I realised the bandage was only temporary.

I’m fine. The world might have come to a standstill, no one really knowing which way to turn next. But I’m fine, we’re all fine.

But maybe we’re not. Maybe we just say we are fine when really, we have lost all meaning to this life we’re supposed to be creating. All our lifelong goals and aspirations waiting for us to return to a world we’re we can finally see them again. But when? No one knows.

See that’s the problem, endless questions with no answers flooding our brains, we’re getting nowhere. 

Overload, we reach a point too far down the line to turn back but with no end in sight, we give up. The bandage holding us together begins to slip away piece by piece until nothing remains but you and I. Alone yet somehow surrounded by everyone, we are all falling, we are falling together, yet our struggles seem so vastly different, we remain alone.

But we do have one thing in common, the world we share, the world that has let us down, the world that has left us to suffer, alone.

See really, we are the opposite of alone so why can’t we see that? More questions with no answers, this is hopeless. 

But is it really? See another question, somehow the world becomes a question, everything that exists becomes a question. Yet somehow, we manage to survive. Maybe questions aren’t the problem. So, what is?

I’m fine. I may not know all the answers right now, but I’m fine. I trust it will work out. I pick up the fallen piece and press it back into place. Silence. No more questions. I’m fine.

(I’m not the best with words so this might not all make sense but I didn’t want to just delete it so thought I’d post it here, hope you have a lovely day!! )

Former Member

Sending big hugs ❤️

Past User

Hey @Starlight ! 

I think this is worded super clearly. It’s so helpful to write out how we’re feeling and what’s on our minds.

How are you feeling after sharing?

Sending hugs ❤️

Starlight

Liam said:

Hey @Starlight ! 

I think this is worded super clearly. It’s so helpful to write out how we’re feeling and what’s on our minds.

How are you feeling after sharing?

Sending hugs ❤️

Hey @liam thanks for replying. Not sure honestly it’s been a few days, I think I wrote it all out of frustration surrounding the current situation and lockdown and how unknown the future is and I’m slowly starting to come terms with it all. I’m doing good at the moment though just taking every day as it comes and trying to remember everything happens for a reason. 

Siena

Hey @Starlight
this is very well written and powerful. you’re right. We are not alone in feeling alone and struggling