What about us? TW (suicide)

Former Member

All I see on social media about suicide is that if you're struggling then you need to speak up. But what about the people who do speak up? 

What about us? 

It's insulting to say that because someone killed themselves means they didn't speak up or reach out. 

What about the people who do, but are turned away because the mental health services are overrun and underfunded?

What about the people who are assessed but deemed too high functioning to get the support they need. 

I want to talk a bit about my recent experiences with the mental health support I've been trying to get. 

I remember I was going through a lot of exam stress and struggling to write my essays as I was experiencing symptoms of PTSD - I can't describe if it was a mixture of flashbacks or dissociation or what it was, but it made me reach out for support again (I'd been discharged from my psychotherapist around the beginning of lockdown as I'd finished my amount of allocated sessions). 

I spoke to my doctor who referred me to the mental health centre and I was assessed. I was brutally honest, I opened up about my past and how I'm being affected. I told her I've been suicidal before and that I've got a history of self harming. I told her I was in care, had social work involvement and that I was abused and neglected. 

I was DISCHARGED from their services and passed on to a service for mild issues that are fully CBT and self help guides with some group sessions and "brief one to one sessions". 

Don't get me wrong, I'll do whatever they're asking me to do because I'm desperate but I've had similar before and it hasn't worked, which I told her. 

I called her to ask why they decided this and it's because I'm too high functioning - I'm at uni and successful in my sports. That's got nothing to do with the fact that I am struggling mentally and that it can be debilitating. 

This is where the system is so so wrong - I saw the news of a 24/5 year old footballer being found dead yesterday. The comments are all talking about how he should've reached out for support. How do they know he didn't but got turned away because he's a successful athlete therefore MUST be high functioning. 

Suicide is a serious issue and more needs to be done to save lives. 

So what about us that do reach out but get pushed away? 

What is there for us? Not an awful lot - but it shouldn't take killing ourselves before we're listened to. 

The mix is a brilliant bridge for these gaps. It doesn't make up for the lack of mental health support, but by talking and being open and always being there for others then there's hope. 

Don't ever give up. You're worth it. And if you ever feel like no one cares about you - I DO. I care about you. I care about every single one of you and if you ever need a chat, please do drop me a PM. 

The country is a mess, but that doesn't mean we can't be happy. 

Much love to everyone and here's to an amazing year

Past User

Hey anchor big hugs. Sadly You’re definitely right there’s not enough support out there. Its Important to speak up but we need to learn to better support the ones who do. 

But like you said if we keep speaking up and reaching out just like you have and with places like the mix and wonderful people like everyone here maybe one day things will be better.

This is an incredibly important post anchor I hope you’re well, sending you another big hug. I’m here if you ever need anything.  We’re always here for you, here for anyone who ever needs it. No one ever has to go through anything alone.  You’re awesome anchor  

(sorry if I sounded rude, just wanted to show my appreciation for your post, and my admiration of your strength)

Former Member

Hi Anchor, I hope you're well today!
I agree with you about this, most people said suicidal people should have just seek support but having a hard time to being listened to or just underistimate their feelings. This is clearly why they have hard to trust on people to tell them how they are feeling, I don't know if I'm right, but a lot of people aren't good listeners nowadays and the system needs to be changed.

Please do tell if I'm wrong. Also, you're amazing and be strong always!

Former Member

Thank you @SpaceOtter and @Sneakylilmocha

I'm doing alright, it really just got me thinking when I saw the comments about the youngster that committed suicide. I know it's a tough topic to discuss but it has to be spoken about. 

The more taboo it becomes the less people will talk and the more people will kill themselves. I understand that as well however the lack of mental health support (worldwide and in the UK) is ridiculous. 

I know for me I wouldn't kill myself, but that doesn't stop the thoughts coming now and again. I'm lucky to have a boyfriend who would go to all lengths to make sure I'm safe and has done before. Some people aren't this lucky though and even if they talk about it they're brushed off as either bluffing or attention seeking. The ones that contact professionals are people who seriously need help. It takes a lot to reach out further and that should be acknowledged. 

I hate being assessed especially over the phone. They can't know what's going on for me by asking a few questions. I'm not sure what else they could do but it just doesn't sit right with me literally prioritising people the way they do it. They system is so rigged that I could lie and no one would ever know. 

I could exaggerate my symptoms and could say I'm extremely suicidal and I'd get bumped right up that list. The list works on good faith that everyone is telling the truth which simply can't be true for everyone. 

It's a proper wee ramble this has turned into but long story short people shouldn't be turned away for reaching out for professional support and the system is messed up. 

awesomeminecraft6789

Hi anchor I agree with what you were saying

We do sometimes forget that there are people out there who Do speak out but end up killing themselves you bring up a damn good argument there

I've always found that the people who don't speak out are the more likely to commit suicide but the fact that people that do speak out and nothing happens is possibly even worse cause we depressed people we have a right and a privilege as much as the next person it sickens me when nobody seems to notice us until it's too late and they just go about their day like nothing happened I'm sure most of them are good people but it's despicable to not give us the help we need

I hope your ok though dude! 👍

Former Member

Thanks @awesomeminecraft6789 I'm doing okay! It just annoys me that people automatically assume they didn't try to get help. 

I also agree with what you're saying, people that don't speak out are more likely to because they're struggling alone, but I can also see how alone it is reaching out but being turned away. 

I have good support but even with that it feels isolating. 

People are more likely to not speak out because they know they'll be turned away if they do. It's shitty isn't it? 

awesomeminecraft6789

It really is I agree I've been depressed and have spoke about why I feel this way but nothing ever seems to be done making me feel worse and as I said in a few updates that's what's killing me it's always us that get the bad end of the stick and people always wonder why suicide is such a big thing these days and I'm like well it's because nobody ever listens making us feel like we're alone and trapped.

Depression and suicide is massive at this time because of people dying and covid it's so unfortunate when people take us for granted when we need people not all of them of course but most people are like nah your loss mate and kick us to the curb or bully us because they think they've got the upper hand I don't tolerate bullying by any means but if people think that that's how people should live then I'm sorry but  their the ones who should be bullied not us you know what I mean?

Siena

I have been meaning to reply to this!

I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone with this feeling I agree. Never taken seriously enough considering it’s life or death sometimes. 

Please keep reaching out though because you’re worthy of any help  

Former Member

@Shaunie thank you, it's so shitty isn't it? If you're suicidal you're just attention seeking but if you commit suicide it's so tragic. Like what. That makes no sense. Help the people so they don't commit suicide. 

One of my old classmates, and good friends killed himself. I'd lost touch with him when I moved abroad but he was always someone I just got on really well with. He was so happy and always smiling, you'd never know any different. That's nearly always the case though isn't it? 

And the people that fake being suicidal for attention are the cause of all this. And people that fake their symptoms because no one can disprove them otherwise. 

It's just so draining. I'd never do it but I hate feeling like it.