Teenager Mom

Emoji246

Hi guys 
What are your thoughts on Teenage Mom's 

independent_

I know many teenage parents and most of them are wonderful. They’re great parents who are absolutely devoted to their kids. 

It’s the making of some people. Most of us wouldn’t choose to go down that path but if it happens it often turns out very well. 

Of course you’re always going to have the odd few who aren’t good parents - but that could be said for adults too 

Emoji246

Thanks for the comment I appreciate it    @independent_  

independent_

It’s no problem.

It’s a fair question to ask really I’m 17 and I can think of 5 people around my age who are either pregnant or who have young babies. 

Emoji246

@independent_ I only asked because my boyfriend who I really don't want to be with basically I got dragged in the relationship.
He wants children and I don't   

Aidan

Yeah some people are great or terrible parents regardless of their age, and becoming a parent can be a very fast way for some people to grow up. It's definitely harder to make a life for yourself as a teenager, especially if you have a kid too- so anyone who makes a success out of it is very strong.

There's an idea that teen parents must be irresponsible or carefree or stupid, and as with most prejudices it has an element of truth in some teen parents- but the rest make no worse of a parent than anyone in their 20's or 30's.

In the olden olden days, you might have had your first kid at 13, and that was normal!! So there's definitely a potential to be a competent parent at that age, even if it isn't viewed as ideal nowadays.

I wonder actually how many teen pregnancies are intentional? The answer might surprise us, my mum had my eldest sister as a teenager, and both my sisters had their eldest children as teens too. It's weird thinking that at this age, if I was them I'd have a kid!

Do you think teen mums have it harder than teen dads?
My answer:

I think so, in our society mums tend to have more responsibility than dads for their child (it should probably be equal!- but in practise it sometimes just doesn't work that way) so a teen mum might have to make more sacrifices to her life than the dad might have to.

That said, it must be terrifying to unintentionally become a parent at that age whether you're the mum or the dad.

Aidan

@Emoji246 sorry to hear you feel dragged into a relationship, if you don't want to be in it you should be honest as it'll only cause more harm to break-up even later on! Sending hugs

Emoji246

Thankyou @Aidan but the trouble is I don't want to upset him because when I upset people I end up feeling very guilty   

independent_

@Aidan I also thing the mums have it harder than the dads, a lot of responsibility is placed on women of all ages and we’re expected to take most of the responsibility for kids, house stuff, etc. 

I don’t know many people who wanted or expected to become parents at this age, as a 17 year old I certainly don’t want to but if it happens to me I’d like to think I could embrace it and be a good parent.

@Emoji246 I agree that if you don’t want to be in the relationship, you really should be honest. I’ve been in a relationship now for 2.5 years and even now, honesty and communication are just as important as they were at the very beginning. 

Laine

Hey emoji I understand you don't want to upset him but kids are a huge thing you shouldn't have to go through it you don't want to absolutely not. 

If you're both not in the same place in life and you're not really into him would it better to break up?

I know you don't want to upset him but you deserve to be happy too communication is key!

I have a friend who's a teen mother she's a wonderful mother but you have to want and love that baby with all your heart it's a big change that lasts a long time

Skive

Obviously everybody's different, but I would generally advise against having kids very young. Not because teenage parents can't be good parents, but because I think tying yourself down with a child so young means you'll likely to miss out on so much other stuff you could be doing, that you can't do when your older.

Use your youth selfishly. Be a hedonist. Go travelling, have relationships with different people, party, have a good time. 
Do all this before children, mortages, bills and other serious commitments. There's plenty of time for that later.

Anch0r33

It shouldn't be about what other people think about teen mum's - f*ck em. It should be about what you want, what your feel ready for. 

There is no right or wrong answer because it's an individual (and couple decision). 

If you don't feel ready or don't want kids yet - don't have kids yet. 

You need to tell your boyfriend how you honestly feel - write a letter if you find it easier. He might be under the impression that you're wanting kids because you're not saying otherwise. 

My bf and I went through a major pregnancy scare and by the end of it I was really hopeful I was pregnant and ended up not being. 

My bf told me how he honestly felt and we made an agreement to make it work. If he's not ready then I will wait for him. It should be the same with your bf - if he really cares about you then he'll wait  

Dancer

It is completely your choice as to what you want to do with your body although pressure in relationships can make it really hard to be assertive.

Skive

Forget about age, if you don't want to be in a relationship with this fella don't have a child with him. Sounds like a terrible situation to bring a child into.

Wait until you are with somebody you do want to have kids with, and don't be in a rush to do. There's no going back.