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Scars at work trigger warning ⚠️

SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
edited September 2023 in Health & Wellbeing
Do you think it is okay for someone who works in retail to wear short sleeves if they have quite bad self harm scars. Only ONE arm like the inner arm?

its just I prefer to only wear short sleeves even if it’s in winter as I sweat a lot when anxious mostly only at work and with short sleeves I sweat less because of like the air getting to my arm pits lol

idk what is more embarrassing sweating a lot or self harm scars. 

Any advice pleaseee????

i do use a deodorant that kinda stops it. But I really do hate using it as it itches sooo sooo bad for about 2 hours at night. Like verryyyy veryyyy painful for my arm pits lol
But I feel like people would think wtf it’s winter and she’s wearing short sleeve does she want people to see it
i think this is within the guidelines. Very sorry if not. Just can’t explain otherwise as just want opinions on it

“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
Post edited by JustV on

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    I think whatever you feel comfortable with is the most important thing! Personally I think it's okay, as a primark customer I wouldn't think anything of it, I'd simply respect you as I would anybody else, and equally if I was a colleague I would feel the same!  But yeah, really I think it's whatever makes you feel the most comfortable x

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,911 Extreme Poster
    I agree with @coc0mac, I think doing whatever you feel comfortable with is important. I also personally think it will be fine. I wear short sleeves when doing night shifts and none of the staff seem to care, which is good so hopefully customers would be the same x
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 2020
    Thank you @coc0mac & @Dandelion

    I don’t feel comfortable with any tho :(. I just wanna kno which is more embarrassing in someone else’s opinions 

    i don’t want people to think I’m disgusting for sweating so much and don’t want people to scared of me for the scars. 
    But I don’t want to be in pain for two hours before bed with the deodorant which I have been doing recently as new self harm which defo means can wear short sleeves
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    What would you choose if it was you?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,911 Extreme Poster
    I don’t think either is embarrassing and I’m sure no one else will. If the deodorant is hurting you, maybe wearing short sleeves is a good option if you’re comfortable with that x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 487 Listening Ear
    Hey @Shaunie :) 

    I can totally relate to the nightmare that is combating anxiety sweat! I use a nighttime deodorant too and it burns like crazy if my underarms are still wet when I apply it. If you prefer short sleeves, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I'd expect customers (or anyone, really) to be courteous and understanding in a retail setting - after all, your self-harm scars have absolutely nothing to do with the quality of your service.

    i don’t want people to think I’m disgusting for sweating so much and don’t want people to scared of me for the scars. 

    I know that isn't always the case however and I really hear your concerns about customer's perceptions of you. There's a personal story here from Katie, whose experience you might find relatable and helpful. I second @coc0mac & @Dandelion in saying that your comfort is the most important thing. 

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 18
    Thanks

     @Past User
     is it called driclor ?
    Post edited by TheMix on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I’m going to try to be comfortable with short sleeves as my arm pits are like red raw😂😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 2020
    Does anyone know why some scars turn white and some turn red? How do I get them all to be white ?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    I'm sure they turn pale over time as part of the healing process.

    Moisturizer can help on older scars to heal better :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,911 Extreme Poster
    Yeah I think so Aidan, also I think things like heat can affect them as well like some turn more red when it’s really hot/ cold 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 2020
    Oh really thanks. Some of my scars go white straight away and some have been red for about 10 months. Hopefully they fade more soon

    But yeah actually when think about it they have been slowly fading the ones that are red fading more to purpl
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Living the Zen life 🧘🏼‍♀️ Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Aidan I thought that too, I have  scars on my arm because I broke my elbow and had to have surgery and they have all gone a whitish colour! 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Eleanor said:
    @Aidan I thought that too, I have  scars on my arm because I broke my elbow and had to have surgery and they have all gone a whitish colour! 
    Oh that’s good! How long did it take
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 2020
    I’ve got few purplish scars that was once red and just don’t know how likely they will eventually turn white too
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Reading up on it they are red due to more collagen forming which can occur over a period of several months.

    Over time that breaks down and they turn a pale colour.

    Scars can continue to face over up to 2 years.

    After this they won't be likely to heal anymore :)
    The NHS recommends using moisturizer like E45 to stop them drying out x

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited October 2020
    Also if anyone else reads this thread because they’re having same problem/ thoughts of scars. 

    No one should have to second think what they wear because of what their bodies look like. Wear what you want because it’s your body, not anyone else’s <3 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Obnoxiously Large Anchor Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    Hey @Shaunie I just saw this post and not sure if you know about it but there are certain creams and lotions that can help scars fade! I'll link some in here, but I don't have any personal use with them so I can't recommend any unfortunately!

    https://www.boots.com/boots-scar-reduction-serum-50ml-10169357
    https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/best-scar-cream#how-scar-cream-works
    https://www.womenshealthmag.com/beauty/g28544865/best-scar-creams/
    https://www.standard.co.uk/shopping/esbest/beauty/skincare/best-scar-removal-cream-a4180396.html

    It's also important to remember that no one has the right to judge you for your past, your story and that includes your scars. If people feel uncomfortable seeing scars then they can go elsewhere. If I saw someone with self harm scars I would be proud of them for being here and for not being afraid to cover up - but at the same time it's okay to cover up! 

    I've got scars on the side of my knee, my lower thigh and my arm and they are visible. I personally feel okay to show them, but it took a while to get there.  

    Proud of you <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    edited October 2020
    Very proud of you for your decision @Shaunie! :heart:
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited December 2020
    I decide to wear long sleeves most of the time with fleece as can’t see sweat. Anyway. First time had my sleeves rolled up as was boiling doing so much delivery like so hot cause using so much energy. Anyway first time when scars have been this bad and supervisor touch it and said “you’re strong” it was a bit awkward as I didn’t know what to say. And was shocked as didn’t think people mentioned it when see it. But yeah guess was nice of her
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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