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sensitive topic about my parents being racist
Distraction
Posts: 481 Listening Ear
Hey!
Warning, not a nice discussion and not meaning to offend anyone
I have disagreements with my parents about these topics and more often then not it leads into an argument if I speak up about it.
I'll just mention the main points, they don't like muslims or Pakistan people or anyone who looks like them (they say they're all terrorists and that we should get rid of them) and they don't want anymore refugees coming to the UK.
I hate this, it boils my blood, being a Muslim does not mean you are a terrorist.
My step mum talks about the calling and if the Muslims get the calling they will drop everything and do whatever they need to do, like kill, bomb, attack etc
I try to have a reasonable conversations with them and understand why they think like this, I sometimes start with saying maybe they're not all the same. My parents don't like this, they say I need to go educate myself, they get angry and defensive and apparently I know nothing of the world, (I start to believe it).
What also annoys me is that they group all the same skin colour to being Muslims and slag them off, yet they have no idea who the person actually is and skin colour doesn't even matter, anyone can be or not be a Muslim.
They also have an issue with too many black people on tv because apparently it's pc gone crazy and they make ew noises when two people of the same sex kiss in an advert.
I'm sick of hearing it and to be honest a little worried because their views/voices are in my mind and I don't want to be thinking like they do but very slowly I notice myself look at someone who could be a Muslim and think they are one, but why should that matter, they're a human, I shouldn't be thinking if they're muslim or not cos who cares, when I see other people I don't think oh are they Christian or Jewish etc.
When I hear my parents talk about this, I feel like screaming at them, of course I don't but they're so small minded and stupid, we're all allowed our opinions but theirs are horrible.
They also don't think they are racist
I'm just tired of it and the negativity
Warning, not a nice discussion and not meaning to offend anyone
I have disagreements with my parents about these topics and more often then not it leads into an argument if I speak up about it.
I'll just mention the main points, they don't like muslims or Pakistan people or anyone who looks like them (they say they're all terrorists and that we should get rid of them) and they don't want anymore refugees coming to the UK.
I hate this, it boils my blood, being a Muslim does not mean you are a terrorist.
My step mum talks about the calling and if the Muslims get the calling they will drop everything and do whatever they need to do, like kill, bomb, attack etc
I try to have a reasonable conversations with them and understand why they think like this, I sometimes start with saying maybe they're not all the same. My parents don't like this, they say I need to go educate myself, they get angry and defensive and apparently I know nothing of the world, (I start to believe it).
What also annoys me is that they group all the same skin colour to being Muslims and slag them off, yet they have no idea who the person actually is and skin colour doesn't even matter, anyone can be or not be a Muslim.
They also have an issue with too many black people on tv because apparently it's pc gone crazy and they make ew noises when two people of the same sex kiss in an advert.
I'm sick of hearing it and to be honest a little worried because their views/voices are in my mind and I don't want to be thinking like they do but very slowly I notice myself look at someone who could be a Muslim and think they are one, but why should that matter, they're a human, I shouldn't be thinking if they're muslim or not cos who cares, when I see other people I don't think oh are they Christian or Jewish etc.
When I hear my parents talk about this, I feel like screaming at them, of course I don't but they're so small minded and stupid, we're all allowed our opinions but theirs are horrible.
They also don't think they are racist
I'm just tired of it and the negativity
4
Comments
Sounds tough to hear all this! Especially because it's coming from your parents.
All I can say is good on you for challenging their views! That can be extremely hard but at least you can say you've tried!
Don't get too worried about their opinions playing on your mind! Of course they will but you seem like you are able to challenge them. One of my parents use to fill my head with narrow-minded opinions but I just switched off when they spoke Maybe you could try that!
Don't let them influence who you are or who you want to be! It's hard when it's your parents though.
Stay safe!
You're probably right, yesterday we were on a walk with the dog and she kept going on about them taking over the world, she went in a mood because I wouldn't respond lol, kinda feel sorry for her being that petty haha.
Thanks! I'll remember that
Sorry to hear that you are having to deal with this from your parents! I think it's really brilliant and brave that you stand up to them, and you should remember how brave you are being when you do this. There's quite a few articles around at the moment about dealing with racist people because of the Black Lives Matter movement so I've linked a few here which might be useful:
https://eu.usatoday.com/story/life/2020/07/06/how-to-guide-talk-racism-white-privilege-with-family-friends/3278514001/
https://eatfeelfresh.com/how-to-communicate-with-racist-family-members/
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a32734555/how-to-talk-to-friends-family-racism/
https://www.creativespirits.info/aboriginalculture/people/how-to-deal-with-racist-people
I agree with the others, very proud of you for challenging their views! The fact this bothers you shows how much you genuinely care, and it is just so lovely to see you standing up for your views and the rights/respect for others. Good job It must be tough to hear their contrasting views, but try your best not to let them negatively influence you - seems you are doing a great job
Thank you ! it's good to hear that standing up to them is a good thing to do and that I'm not just being difficult, these replies have been very helpful, and calmed me a bit with the situation.