I'm just tired.

CaseyM09

I feel so tired all the time. I no longer have the energy or motivation to complete daily tasks or to study (I'm currently in 6th Form) so now I'm falling behind in my coursework. My self-esteem is nowhere insight either with the constant thoughts of 'I'm so ugly' and 'I will never be good enough for anyone with the way that I am'. I'm not the skinny or pretty friend either so I often get left out or ignored by others. My anxiety attacks have become much more frequent now and I'm not handling them so great by myself.

I am probably the most useless and worthless person I know. Everyone that I know are doing something with their lives as they either have jobs, taking part in extracurricular activities and are doing well academically whilst doing both of those things whilst I neither have a job, am in a club or doing well academically. I don't have many friends as I'm an introvert and always get anxious when talking to people that I'm not really close to. I'm not doing anything with my life - I'm wasting it.

There's just no point of me being here. The world wouldn't change if I disappeared anyway. I'm nothing special.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense. I want to say more but I'm not great at expressing my feelings verbally or like this.

independent_

Hi @CaseyM09, and welcome to the boards it’s great to have you here!!

This actually makes a lot of sense certainly to me because I know exactly how you feel. I relate to a lot of what you say here and I understand. I also lack in energy, motivation and self-esteem, to the point where I’m considering taking a year out of education to sort myself out because I’ve struggled to do that while I’ve been under pressure with academic responsibility. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through it too.

Have you spoken to anybody about how you feel?

CaseyM09

Hey @independent_, thank you 😊

I’ve been thinking lately about dropping out of 6th form and finding something else to do but I don’t really want to do that unless I have a solid back-up plan and going to university has been something that I’ve always wanted to do.

I have spoken to one person about this and she has been so helpful and supportive. She hasn’t judged me once or told anyone else about it and been there when I needed her to be. She also knows a bit about my family problems but not the whole lot yet and she also doesn’t know how much I actually hate myself. I don’t want her to see the way that I see myself if that makes sense?

Arianna

Hey @CaseyM09, welcome! 

For what it’s worth, I don’t think many people are doing very much at all at the moment. I’m certainly not. Things right now aren’t easy and there’s no minimum standard of productivity you have to be hitting. Honestly I really struggled while I still had uni work going on too. That’s understandable and doesn’t at all reflect your ability or your want to do well.

Note also that, while choc chip cookies aren’t strictly necessary for the world’s existence, we’d all be a lot sadder without them. Maybe no one needs us, but we’re still loved and of value and it’s still worth us being around!

I think you’ve expressed your feelings just fine Take care of yourself. We’re all here x

Siena

Hey @CaseyM09

i really hear everything You’re saying. You’re not alone feeling like that I feel the exact same. It’s hard when we compare our lives to others. But everyone’s on a different journey. And they may have a time where they feel like they’re not doing much with their life later on or something or they did something they thought they wanted but didn’t. Like that’s common with uni. And that’s all okay. We are all just trying to do our best and not straight forward. Life is very hard. And when you say you’re wasting your life you’re not. You’re trying and everyday you occumplise just by living/might feel like existing-  is Stillsomething. There are some small things in life that can cheer us up and although it might not feel worth it. It can be good to focus on little things that make life bit bearable. Mine is my 🐶 dog. 

It’s really hard when speaking to strangers make us feel anxious. As feel like well will get no where. What I like to remind myself is that most people I talk to that don’t know well- they must feel some level of anxiety too and hard to feel confident but not much can happen if you do something wrong/say something wrong. We all do at some points And it say something weird then like it’s okay. Shows personality and tbh why should we care about what others think of us. Life is aboutHow we feel not what others think of us.   I feel tired all the time too and sleep so much so I’m not really sure advice on that but seeing a gp can help

You are good enough! We are all unique Looking and that’s amazing when think about it,  “pretty” is opinion based. Sorry to hear about your anxiety attacks:(has anything helped in the past?

CaseyM09

Hey @Shaunie,
I’m sorry that you feel this way too but I am happy that you have your dog to make life a little better 💕

With my anxiety attacks, so far nothing has really worked for me. I’ve tried breathing methods, grounding methods, listening to music etc but they still don’t really work for me. I’ve also had advice from a school councillor on how to deal with them but their ways haven’t really helped. They usually last a bit longer than an hour if I can’t find a way to calm them down or fully stop them.