Thinking about ex and the physical aspect of our relationship

Former Member

So it's been 6 months since we broke up and I've talked about it a bit on other threads on here. But I still have moments where I'll think about my ex. This has become less and not as intense and as long, but I do have particular moments where I'll think about the physical aspect of our relationship and that sometimes upsets me more.

I'll obviously not go into detail, but it hurts that we don't have it anymore. I don't cry as much about it as I used to which is good but sometimes it plays on my mind. And even I have visions and images in my head of her with this other guy who she had a thing with after we broke up (before she came back to me 3 months later and me being silly me agreed to talk again - she later changed her mind for good).

It's something I want to manage in my head but don't know how to. It has seemed to be less overtime but I can't control when I think about it.

Former Member

Hey @TiredSquirrel

Think I spoke to you in the other thread! I feel like I know what you mean! 

Its like random flashbacks for me! I tried to just keep busy. I know thats hard now though because of the lockdown. Maybe find a new hobby, then hopefully you are so busy doing something you love that you don't think about her

Ive also tried making a break up playlist, I know it sounds cheesey but it really helps  I always feel empowered aftewards. It's okay to feel sad after a break up. It's normal to be sad after a break up! I think it'll really help the process. 

I hope this helps, even if only a little. 

Tee A

Former Member

Hi @TiredSquirrel

Big hugs to you!

Breakups can often be this way - whilst it becomes 'easier' to cope with over time, you can still have moments where it's difficult and where the thoughts are back into your mind. That's normal, it can take time and it can totally feel like a rollercoaster. But just remember to be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself, and know that things really will be okay again

How do you usually distract yourself from these thoughts?

Former Member

Hello! @TiredSquirrel thank you for sharing with us here on The Mix! 

It's totally normal to still have moments where you will be thinking about your ex. It sounds like you have made some progress in trying to manage how you are feeling about this, as you mentioned you don't get upset about it as much, which is really good. 

It can take time for these types of losses to "heal" in a sense, having images and visions in your head about her with the other guy don't sound like nice experiences but you have taken a really good step in sharing here and wanting to manage how you are feeling. 

As @coc0mac said patience and kindness to yourself can be really helpful, is there anything you have been doing that you enjoy that could distract you from how you are feeling? 

Siena

Hey! I agree with what others have said! Break up are reallyyy painful and you're doing well to notice with time it gets a bit better. It can help to focus on you and your life atm and not hers. Easier said than done. Also when you get those images remind yourself it is okay to have them. And let them come and go. Try not to give too much attention to them as can make them worse. 

Hope that was helpful. Take care !