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Coming out

scottyjones98scottyjones98 Posts: 14 Settling in
So I've been discovering and battling and exploring my sexuality for probably about 7 years now. I've finally settled that I am bisexual.

I've recently started dating and now have a wonderful boyfriend and I want to come out so I can spend time with him and start out life together and no longer be all secretive.

I'm 22 and just want some advice on how to tell my parents and my two brothers I'm bisexual and also how to tell them I have a boyfriend - should I do it at the same time?

We have never really discussed sexuality and none of my extended family are LGBT. My family aren't homophobic in anyway but I'm just unsure as to how they will react and how to tell them and so was just wanting some advice.

I was thinking of writing a letter to my parents and getting them to read it whilst I'm with them, so I can get down all the words I want to without being too nervous and also means I can answer any questions.

I don't want to be judged or treated any differently as I'm still the same person as I am now, but I just don't want to upset or disappoint them.

I was thinking about dropping some subtle hints about LGBT so I can 'test the water' and try and gauge what there reaction would be.

Just looking for some ideas and some advice.




  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 7,742 Legendary Poster
    Hi Scott,

    Discovering your sexuality and being comfortable with it is a huge step, so well done for that. 

    I really like the ideas you have. When I was reading your post one of my first suggestions was going to be that you test the water by dropping subtle hints, or asking their opinion on LGBT issues when you get the opportunity to do so - such as when you see an LGBT person on the TV or hear about it on the news.

    The letter also sounds like a fantastic idea - as you say it’ll let you get your words down on paper and you can take all the time you need to write it.

    I wish you all the very best, it’s such a journey and you’re doing brilliantly :) 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • MikeMike 🎮 LondonPosts: 3,832 Community Manager
    edited May 2020
    I don't have any authentic experience to offer you @scottyjones98, but wanted to chip in and say it's super brave to even consider coming out. Good for you, and I hope you find yourself in a position where you feel safe enough to come out to your family. Is it a relief to settle on a label for your sexuality?

    As @independent_ brilliantly put:

    I wish you all the very best, it’s such a journey and you’re doing brilliantly :)

    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.

    Want to join the community champions? Drop @TheMix a message!
  • LaineLaine Fruit loop Gone for gooPosts: 2,766 Account Deactivated
    Testing the water could be a good idea !

    Pride month is coming up so you could have a subtle conversation about LGBT related subjects and see what they say on the matter :)

    If telling them seems good then you could definitely write a letter I think that would work good as you can get all of it down in the way you want, 

    Another option if you trust a particular family member is to maybe tell them and they can help you talk about it.

    Its great you've managed to figure it out I bet it's quite the relief? :)

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
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