If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Body image.
Former Member
☕🌻☕Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
Hi all.
I'm really struggling with body image, there isn't a moment in the day I'm wishing something physically was different. I have so much hate for how I look, my shape.. the freckles on my arm.
I spend so much time pulling myself apart whenever I come across a mirror. I'm constantly looking at others and wondering if they are looking and judging my body.
I hate it..I feel disgusting. Can't even shower without verbally abusing myself over how I look.
I've reached a point where going out feels like a massive challenge. What if others think I'm disgusting too? What if others think Im an odd shape? Too fat? Ugly?.. feet to big, ears too small...too many freckles on my arms...
Arghhhhhhhhh this is taking over every single day. I'm constantly tearing myself apart about how I look..my face..my body.
I don't know what to do at this point. I feel like the hate I have for myself has completely taken over
I'm really struggling with body image, there isn't a moment in the day I'm wishing something physically was different. I have so much hate for how I look, my shape.. the freckles on my arm.
I spend so much time pulling myself apart whenever I come across a mirror. I'm constantly looking at others and wondering if they are looking and judging my body.
I hate it..I feel disgusting. Can't even shower without verbally abusing myself over how I look.
I've reached a point where going out feels like a massive challenge. What if others think I'm disgusting too? What if others think Im an odd shape? Too fat? Ugly?.. feet to big, ears too small...too many freckles on my arms...
Arghhhhhhhhh this is taking over every single day. I'm constantly tearing myself apart about how I look..my face..my body.
I don't know what to do at this point. I feel like the hate I have for myself has completely taken over
5
Comments
Yes I've been bullied when I was at school and ex friends were very unkind and made comments about how I looked. It was really hurtful. There was once a group chat made where they posted a picture of me and just pulled it apart..how I looked..my shape, the fact I have glasses etc.. it was awful.
I really struggle to find things I like about myself
I'm sorry to hear today is a difficult day for you
It sounds like you have had some very hurtful comments and experiences in the past related to your body image. I want you to know that nobody deserves to go through that. Everybody deserves to be celebrated for the way that they look and the way that they are. Everyone is perfect just the way they are...even if it doesn't feel that way sometimes
I have seen a page on Childline's website about body image, and it also has some helpful video links too - you can read it here. I know it can be super difficult to believe positive words when you are feeling this way, but perhaps if you read some positive words, watch some positive videos and remind yourself of them every day, then maybe that will help you to love yourself the way you deserve to
Today has been another really bad body image day. There's so much I want to change. I hate how disgusting and fat I am
I'm sorry to hear how much you've been struggling with how you look. It's awful to have experienced people saying nasty things about you, no one deserves to be treated that way and as hard as it is to believe sometimes, that just because they've said awful things, it doesn't mean they are true.
It can be exhausting to be constantly worried about what people might think of you and understandable you would be nervous from your previous experience. I agree with Riley that sometimes it helps to start small and find something you like about yourself, it doesn't even have to be a physical feature to start with and repeat to yourself then slowly add more. If you struggle to say it to yourself then sometimes it helps to write it down instead.
It can be devastating to have constant negative feelings about the way you look and feel like they have taken over but you are not alone and we are here for you.
Just wanted to give you massive cuddles - i'm so sorry you're feeling this way at the moment
I've linked one of The Mix articles here about how to be kinder to our bodies and be more body positive if you think reading them would make you feel better:
https://www.themix.org.uk/your-body/appearance/why-we-all-need-more-body-kindness-in-our-lives-32249.html
There are also charities that work specifically on body image, maybe you could have a little look at these:
https://www.bodygossip.org/home (The Your Stories section on here is particularly powerful and will show you that you aren't alone with how you are feeling)
There's nothing I like about myself. Nothing at all. I have so much hate and dislike for every aspect of my body. Somethings I can change like my hair, but it doesn't change my opinion and views of myself
I've honestly started to hide myself more and more in baggy clothes. Trying to hide the flaws on my face that I dislike..
Thank you @Past User I'll have a look at that site later on
I am sorry to hear that you are still struggling. But what's great is that you are talking about how you feel and are aware of these feelings. This might only feel like a small step to you, but they truly are great steps that can help you on your way to feeling better - you are a lot stronger than you think
You say you keep trying to change things - could you share a bit more about what you mean by that?
I recently finished reading a book on The Art of Living by the Dalai Lama. There's a section in the book where he deconstructs self-hatred, or low self-esteem, and shows that it can be turned into happiness.
For example, he says that the purest kind of love is when you wish happiness for someone else unconditionally. Then he says, almost all people wish themselves to be happy eventually. So if you do want to be happy - which you arguably do because you have started this discussion thread, showing you want to start figuring out a solution for yourself - then that means you do hold an element of self-love
In a counterintuitive way, the very act of starting this thread about self-hatred has shown you have a capacity for self-love. I wanted to write this just to show another perspective on this situation, and to offer hope
A more practical question I have for you is if you have a journal or a diary? I have heard that it can be useful for people to write down one thing they are grateful for each day that way you start to build a habit of showing you're grateful for things, which has the potential to help you start to think more kindly about your own body... This is just an idea, no stress if you don't fancy it xo
If you did choose to read the book @GreenTea, it would be great if you shared your thoughts here and anything that you learnt. I am going to read the book too!
I have also found this article filled with advice about learning to love yourself and your body image, which might be helpful too. You can read it here, but I wanted to copy and paste one of my favourite pieces of advice from it:
Also, I wanted to emphasise that learning to love yourself and the way you look truly is a process, it's a journey. It doesn't happen over night and that is absolutely okay. What's important is that you are aware of these feelings and you are talking to us to try and change these thoughts, which is such a great step. We are all so proud of you, and I really hope that you can begin to find some peace and comfort in the way you look because you truly deserve to feel happy and secure in who you are, always
I don't journal because I can never stick to them.. I forget I make them and then find them month later with one page done.
Thanks for the advice though.
I'll look at the article later. Thank you
Just want this to go awau
It's more when I'm out and about.. walking home through town and like there's so many people and I just can't help but compare myself. It sounds so creepy and disgusting to say out loud..
It's not discussing at all, I can't help but do it too sometimes especially when things get a bit "tricky" if you get what I mean.
It may have been difficult for you to wear a dress/skirt in this hot weather, but...you did it And no matter how difficult it felt, that is totally something to be proud of. You did it, and I am proud of you! How are you feeling today? x