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Emailing my GP

SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
edited May 2020 in Health & Wellbeing
So tonight im writing an email to my gp about 2 of my embarrasing problems that i really need help with cause of how suicidal it is making me feel. Finally got a email that isnt a no reply one


And i may also say about how when i was abuse he would press down hard on my stomach so i would wee on him so very hard and would make me really hot and out of breath and what i want to know is how thqt would affect me and in future of like having kids and because when i say i feel out of breath a lot it feel like that time of the abuse and it may be because of anxiety or because of what he was doing to me.  But i know with anxiety it feel like you dont breath all the way down to your stomach cause apperently when stressed you chest breath rathee to stomach and thats what ive been thinking it is. But now i think more about it - it could be that because he pressed hard on my stomach/ bladder that it is messed up there and it stops my breathing from going all the way down. But anyway my older sister it having hard time having kids and its really sad and if i dont kill myself i would want to have kids of my own. Like that would be the most thing i would look forward to and if i cant then defo not much point living. 


But anyway the thing i most want out from my gp is to help ke to sort the two embarrssing problems. ( i wont say what it is because i will cringe everytime i come to this thread but i think one of them cause be because of the abuse - and the other way be in my head of it might be real physical problem) 

but i just wanted to make a thread to update what my gp says. If they cant help me with these embarrasing problems then i really dont know if i want to live. Its not really a need that they need to be sorted it is just how it makes me feel so i don’t know if they would be willing to spend the time to help me.
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
Post edited by Siena on
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Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Have sent the email. So scared
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited May 2020
    Ah fuck they just rang me but i declined it cause my dad IS in the room next to me. Got way too scared
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    They rang again. I answered it. Said will get a call back as soon as possible and proriting it. Probably cause i said how much it makes me want to kill myself 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Omggg they rang my dad. But he didnt answees it. It is his same gp. And he thinks they rang him for him but dont think so. Said he will ring them to see what they wanted omg wtf. Iam so scared. Why did they do that. Will kill myseld if tell him 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited May 2020
    They didn't tell my dad anything and have removed his number from my record. 
    Just had a long phone call. Got an face to face appt for 4 today cause wants to check something

    ket asking me to talk to the crisis team. Dont need crisis team. Need problems to go away

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
    Hi shaunie :) 

    well done for emailing the GP I know how hard that must of been for you . Have you found emailing them first had made it easier for you to speak about the issues ? My GP surgery have the option to fill out a form online and they get the Gp to ring you the next day and I find it easier as I don’t have the time to get anxious over having to make the phone call .

    if you  want to let us know how it goes ? X
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited May 2020
    Thank you @ Millie

    yeah did make it easier its good your gp has that. 
    but never thought id actually send it let alone go see someone face to face about it. Like it took me ages just to send it annoymously to the samaititans. Im really scared im suprised they have given me an actual appointment
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
    You can do it sweet :) 

    ive been called into work later but if you need me or just need to get all the anxious thoughts out just pop me a messsge and I’ll pick it up when I can 💓

    You can do this 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited May 2020
    Thank you! I did it!! 
    It was so weird no one was in there except me. And checked my temp before i could go in and had to wear a mask. 

    Forgot to bring my money so need to go back to get my prescriptions and something thats over the counter to try. 


    Kept talking ahout my mental health but said i dont need help for it. Just need this to go.  And was like "so if these problems go you wont feel suicidal" said i hope so. 
    Post edited by Siena on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I feel dread incase these medications dont work. Then there is literally nothing to try
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    They gave me medication for things they dont even know i have which can only get on presciption But gave it to see if it work. which am confused about cause i thiught they had to be sure to give out meds. But yeah i guess not cause theyve given me an inhaler before to try for my breathing when i defo dont have asthma. 


    I really hope these meds work otherwise i know im going to end up in a massive crisis
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    How long does it take for medication to work ?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
    It can depend on the medication but I know it takes a good few days for most medication to get into your system , if you worried could you email your GP again or maybe have alook at the NHS website ? 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Yeah maybe i feel bad cause i used there time a lot yesterday with getting an appointment, the receptionist trying to ring me then deleting my dads number and then a telephone appointment then a face to face appointment.  

    Now that my dad phone number isn't on my profil (idk why it ever was, i defo wouldnt ever gave it to them, probably when was younger) now that its not on there do you think they will not be able to contact my dad when im in a crisis? Or do they find out? 

    These meds are giving me really bad chest pains
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 343 The Mix Regular
    It looks like you might feel bad for contacting the GP's a lot. I can understand why you might feel nervous about getting in touch so often, but that's what your GP and clinic are there for.  

    I've looked at some NHS resources to find out if they can still get in contact with your dad if you are in some sort of crisis. This link says that the people involved in your care(doctors, nurses, and such) will not share information unless you give them permission, however, there may be some cases where they share some things "without you saying they can". This looks like its aimed at mental health support rather than physical issues. This link says that a doctor's primary duty of confidentiality is to the patient and that they should seek permission if they wish to speak to your relatives. Although if you are still unsure you could always ask the GP receptionist next time your phone!

    I'm really sorry to hear that the meds are giving you chest pains. Is that one of the potential side effects listed on the prescription leaflet? I can understand if you are really concerned about this so I'd maybe explore the side effects and how you feel next time you speak to your doctor, or sooner if you feel it's urgent or important.


  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited May 2020
    Thank you! Yeah it was by accident they rang my dad.glad taken that off my record. They thought they rang because its his gp too and wonder what is wrong with him lol so he rang back and they said "no idea why we rang you sorry" lol. I still dont think he knows it was for me. 


    *****TRIGGER WARNING******(not self harm but does speak about does speak about wanting to remove something myself)

    There is something i really want removed but they seemed like they wouldnt removed it. And if not. TRIGGER WARNING ---- I am going to remove it myself and then ring 999. Because i think this thing i want to remove what is causing one of the embarrassing problems. And  they said its not but im sure it is and if they dont surgeralcy remove it for me. Im going to remove it myself and then ring 999 - i know thats very dangerous and i think main artery near it or on it or sometthing. But yeah people do dangerous stuff all the time and stay alive and if i dont then well this is making me want to kill myself anyway. But if i tell them i will do that. Maybe they will fork out the money to removed it for me. ( it is somethint people can have removed)
    Post edited by TheMix on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 54 Boards Initiate
    edited May 2020
    @Shaunie I don't know what you want to remeve but please stay safe, you know what you want to remove is dangerous so maybe look at other options before removing it yourself. I know they've said it's not a problem but if you feel it is they need to understand that but please stay safe. 
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Shaunie doing it yourself sounds extremely dangerous. I can hear you may be frustrated with the situation, but please don't turn to do something dangerous. Please stay safe
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited May 2020
    Thank you. But he said he can't see it. But i can see it. He wasnt exactly that close to see it. / close enough. Cause coronavirus.  And it canBe a cause of -embarrassing problem-  . I would say what it is- not like its against giudline or anything but just really disgusting. I want to take a picture of it just so in black and white to show them instead but it's disgusting and i just need to remove it all. Cause problem not going to go away otherwise and can't live like it anymore. And he spoke like he hardly knew about it so just annoying. It's something that is really making me want to kill mydelf so if they wont do it for me. Then might aswell try it before resorting to killing myseld
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey Shaunie, did you tell your doc you were planning on removing it yourself if they couldn’t help and that it was contributing to you feeling suicidal? Just thinking about whether they would be more inclined to help if they understood how much it meant to you? Maybe you could email again do you think??
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited May 2020
    Thank you lucy

    i did email them last night saying i will remove it if they dont :/ havent heard back yet
    Post edited by TheMix on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited May 2020
    Last time they got back to me at like 9. So i feel like theyre just going to ignore it
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    They said they got the doctor i saw last week to ring me back tomorrow
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I kinda feel like I'm being manipulative as they might feel they have no choice not to remove it when they don't see the problem. But i hope they don't feel the need. Cause i will do it 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    You really shouldn't do it yourself
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    It is something people do have removed though so shouldn't be that bad esp cause id ring 999 afterwards too 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    You shouldn't do it by yourself shaunie... What if it goes wrong? Infections? Etc... Hopefully the doctor can come up with a solution
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited May 2020
    Yeah but that's a chance with surgery aswell. Except it will just hurt more if i do it myself and may lose just a bit more blood than normal. Making me want to kil myself if i don't have it removed so i guess it going wrong doesn't matter too much
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Seek advice from a different doctor if your doctor won't do it... It's not worth the risk of doing it you
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Na i cant seek help from different doctor I've already embarrassed myself with this one. Don't want to embarrass myself with another one or to see someone new face to face again unless theyre removing it v
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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