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NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 177 Helping Hand
in Health & Wellbeing
Whose here? 

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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Me. You ok?
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    I'm here, what's up? 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    @NatalieMT hope you are doing ok. You know where to find me 💜
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    NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 177 Helping Hand
    Not ok, struggling, can’t cope and just nothing
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Huge hugs. Wanna talk about it? 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling, like GreenTea said we're all here if you want to get anything off your chest <3
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Hope you are ok Natalie
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    NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 177 Helping Hand
    Really don’t want to be here anymore too anxious, don’t have the strength mind filled with the memories the pain struggling to focus here 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    That sounds awful Natalie <3

    If you feel overwhelmed, please don't hesitate to contact crisis messenger or the Samaritans. You're more than welcome to talk to me if you'd like company tonight too, I'll be awake for another hour. Do you feel like sharing more about the memories? <3 
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    NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 177 Helping Hand
    It’s triggering crisis messenger said because I’ve used them twice over past 48 hrs they won’t speak to me...

    He hurt me badly what is the point to life with it all?

    i shut down no confidence but shame 

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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Aww, I'm sorry crisis messenger won't speak to you because of that :(

    I can really hear how much you're hurting. It's understandable you feel there's no point to life when he hurt you so badly. It might sound wrong right now, but it will get better and you can find a happy life and relief from the pain. Does your daughter or anything give you a sense of hope, or does nothing make you feel better about living? <3
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    'But we are not victims, we are survivors. And the biggest fuck you we can give to them is to turn round and say you know what, you may have violated me and made me feel worthless and dirty. You may have been able to walk away free without nightmares and memories and flashbacks. And all of that could have killed me but it didn’t and it won’t. I am stronger. What you did was wrong but I am not weak. And while I may never be whole again I will not allow you to take anything more from me. I will fight. And I will win. You may have tried to break me but I will show you how enormously you failed. 

    That’s what I try and say to myself anyway. You should not let this dictate the course of your life. You can be free. We both can.'

    Something my friend said to me, I know I've posted it before but when I'm struggling with trauma I always repeat this and it helps. 

    I'm sorry crisis messenger won't talk to you @The Mix is this something that could be changed as often crisis' can last a few days and for many this is our main support.

    I'm sorry I can't offer much else support, just know you are stronger than what happened to you. It won't always be like this  <3
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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