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Anxiety is controlling my life

molmol Posts: 15 Fast Newbie
I’m Molly, 19 years old, I have Aspergers and I suffer pretty severely with anxiety. I’ve always been skinny and when I was young I ate anything and everything and didn’t gain weight. So in secondary school I got bullied for my weight and I got depressed to the point of not eating, self harming almost everyday, suicide attempts, losing friends. When I was 15 I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for my anxiety and malnourishment, my anxiety was always more social and towards food when I had to be reintroduced to food. When I was discharged I was okay for a few months, then the anxiety came back and over time it’s got worse. Now I get anxious over everything and nothing, I don’t leave the house. I’m trying to get my meds sorted but what else can I do? What makes it so difficult is that when I get so anxious I throw up, and I’ve developed a fear of being sick which makes me more anxious. Whenever I have an anxiety attack where I throw up, the attack can last days and then it takes days to recover. Being hungry makes me anxious, being full makes me anxious, the thought of relationships, the thought of meeting up with someone, I don’t like messaging people in case they get the wrong idea and think there’s an “us”, I feel guilty and anxious all the time and I don’t know what to do. I feel so trapped, I want to do everything everyone else does but I can’t & if I tried I’d be swallowed up by my anxiety :( 


  • AdamAdam Posts: 25 Moderator
    Welcome @mol to The Mix Community,

    Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time but you are definitely in the right place. It's a really brave step for reaching out to us today and we're here to help :heart:

    I can tell from your post that you are really struggling with your social anxiety and must be really overwhelming.

    Mind are a great charity that helps with anxiety and mental health. Perhaps this could be a good first step for seeking solutions.

    The Mix also has a good article on social anxiety here, which discusses how to cope with social anxiety which also references another article found at NHS: self-help guide

    Also Crisis Messenger are available 24/7 if you wish to speak to someone over text when you are feeling in crisis.

    Hope you are okay, let us know if these articles help and how you are getting on :heart:

  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 2,886 Mega Poster
    Hey mol 

    Just wanted to send some hugs, I don't know what to suggest as it was medication that helped me, but just know when you find the right combo of meds it will work, and remember that it won't always be this way.  

    Something that did help me with social situations was reminding myself that I am safe, nothing bad is going to happen etc 

    I hope you find something hat helps soon! Adam mentioned some good links you should check out :) 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,369 The Mix Elder
    Hey mol

    This anxiety and guilt feeling seems to be really controlling your life:( <3. I'm really glad you're here and seekin help here. Takes a lot to do and write  <3 really do hope it helps. 
    You should you feel anxious being hungry and being full, so you feel okay being inbetween? It can be useful to eat well, not too much and not too little but what feels comfortable to you which can help with your mental state and don't wanna sound obvious but thought I'd say.  Tho I have eating problems to but sometimes it feels powerful to be in control of what you eat. 
    Has anything helped with your anxiety in the past or tried anything that's suppose to help?. I hope you get on the right meds. And take things about your own pace. Well be here to listen and many can relate which can be some motivation sometimes   you're not alone x

    Takw care 
    & Welcome to the site <3
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care” Marvin J. Ashton
  • SkylightsSkylights Posts: 11 Staff Moderator
    Hey @mol

    I just thought I would check in to see how you are feeling?

    It sounds like you've been suffering for quite some time, not sure if you've had a chance to check out some of the links @Adam mentioned, but it sounds like you have got a plan of action in place to try and get on the right medication which is great news.

    I think @Shaunie made a great point trying to eat in the middle, perhaps little and often might help?

    Hope you have a great New Years <3

  • molmol Posts: 15 Fast Newbie
    @Skylights I’m still struggling with some aspects, I’m hungry but I don’t fancy eating anything. I haven’t been as anxious and a bit more positive but now I just dread waking up each morning having to force myself to eat :( 
  • SkylightsSkylights Posts: 11 Staff Moderator
    edited December 2019
    Glad to hear you haven't been as anxious and feeling a bit more positive!

    There is a great article with some information, if you scroll down a bit there are some "Tips For Proper Nourishment When Dealing With Anxiety".

    I understand that it's tough to eat when you don't feel like it, but our bodies need some fuel =]

    Wishing you all the best and a happy New Year <3

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