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a little scared to spend time with my dad for Christmas
Former Member
Fast NewbiePosts: 128 The Mix Convert
I’ve kept this a secret from most people.
During my childhood when we lived in Singapore and I was between 4-7 and then Spain. (My brother was 8-9 in Singapore). So this happend when we were in Singapore and Spain (we were a bit older in Spain)
Me and my brother used to get hit a lot by my dad and my older brother got locked in his room with no dinner. I also got into a lot of trouble at primary school due to this issue but we were both too afraid. Because especially in Spain no one knew the main language and most people speak Spanish. Including their authorities that’s why we never told anyone. I also think this is the reason my older brother doesn’t spend Christmas and come to Netherlands and isn’t keen on it becuse it happend all years to both of us till we moved to England . I don’t think he can forgive dad and even though my dad apologised last time I saw him. It’s just too late and I find it hard to forgive him.
I also hope he’s treating my half brother who is 6 ok because I don’t want the same thing to happen to him.
like I feel like Christmas is supposed to be a time to spend time with family, my older brother and mum never join as they hate my dad. However I’m staying with him in another area of England tommorow and then flying to Netherlands However I just can’t get my trust back or forgive him from those because I feel like if that never happened i would of done better at school, our family would still be together and I also worry about my half brother who lives with my dad and the puppy. I hope there not getting treated badly like me and my brother did.
Also another thing is I also get these bad memories especially around holidays which caused me to get a bit violent on Friday to the point I almost scared my housemate. Luckily she forgot about it.
like I feel like Christmas is supposed to be a time to spend time with family, my older brother and mum never join as they hate my dad. However I’m staying with him in another area of England tommorow and then flying to Netherlands However I just can’t get my trust back or forgive him from those because I feel like if that never happened i would of done better at school, our family would still be together and I also worry about my half brother who lives with my dad and the puppy. I hope there not getting treated badly like me and my brother did.
Also another thing is I also get these bad memories especially around holidays which caused me to get a bit violent on Friday to the point I almost scared my housemate. Luckily she forgot about it.
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Comments
You did so well to share this with us today. I really understand it can be difficult to speak about things like this, and the language barriers in Spain. It's absolutely not your fault that you weren't able to speak about it before But I was wondering if you do have any trusted adults you can speak to about how you are feeling now - or how you would feel about seeking any further support?
You are so right, Christmas is about family, and so you, and your other family members too, all really deserve to feel safe and supported. So if you are able to speak to anyone that would be really great - you really don't deserve to go through this alone
You also did well to share that you were a bit violent on Friday. Are you and your housemate both okay? You might find it helpful to read through Childline's advice page here all about how to cope with anger and similar difficult feelings that may lead to violence.
Take good care x
Its understandable to not be able to forgive or trust him again. Also wishing he is treating your brother okay too. I'm sorry to hear you'll spend Christmas with someone you don't trust. Can be hear to spend any time with people we don't trust.
I'm sorry I'm replying to this a bit late cause bit last christmas, I was wondering how your Christmas was and if you're still with him. I really hope you're okay