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Don't know what to do?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 93 Budding Regular
in Health & Wellbeing
Hi, I've been struggling a bit with my mental health. I've spoken to my friends about it although they have gone and sent a message to my parents. It has made everything worse and they promised they would never tell anyone, so I just feel like I have lost my trust with them. I really didn't want them to know, I quickly saw the message and deleted it so I'm just hoping my parents didn't see it in time. I'm just really scared that they have seen it cause I don't want to worry them, I was getting better and everything.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hi @Eli444

    I'm really sorry to hear they broke your trust like that :( it sounds like they were so worried about you that they thought they would be helping by doing that. Have your parents said anything to you since, to make you believe they may have seen it before you deleted it?

    Do you want to share more about why you don't want to talk to them about it - am I understanding right that you just don't want to worry them?

    For me, I used to hide my feelings from my parents too, but now have a relationship with them where I feel I can open up to them. Although they still worry about me, it's helped a lot to talk things through... A problem shared is a problem halved and all that. If you don't want to do that with your parents, that's what we're here for too :)

    - Lucy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 93 Budding Regular
    They haven't said anything so I don't think they saw it (they aren't to good at using phones). I just don't want them to get worried cause they will just make me see my GP and I don't want to have a label on me. I wouldn't even know what to say to my GP cause I just don't feel myself. They are going away next week so if they found out it would ruin their trip. I just want to get better without involving lots of people.

    I have forgiven my friends for what they did, but still don't think I can trust them. Although they keep asking what my mum said, and I just feel bad lying to them cause I know they are going to be so angry if I tell them I saw the message before my mum. They keep telling me they have been through it before and felt it really helped when their parents could support them. 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm sorry you're struggling with your mental health. Do you want to talk more about it? You mentioned you just don't feel yourself, do you think you can name an emotion or thought you're having or do you not really understand it? <3

    It's understandable you don't want your parents to know about things. It really sucks that your friends sent them a message about it - that's definitely a betrayal of trust. I'm glad it looks like you got to it before they saw.

    It's great to have you on the boards by the way :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 93 Budding Regular
    edited September 18
    Hi @Past User

    I just feel like I have failed myself, I’m not liking university and just feel unmotivated cause I’m doing a course which I didn’t even want to do cause I wasn’t good enough to do the course I applied for. I have a few friends at uni but I get upset to see my closer friends move on as they have found better people to be around then me. 


    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    edited December 2019
    Hey @Eli444

    Could you switch to a course you want to do? you say you didn't get into the course you applied for, maybe you could do the courses that will get you onto your desired course?

    It can be hard to see friends moving on, I barely see my friends anymore as they've all moved away and have families now. but we try meet up as often as possible.

    how do you feel about talking to your parents about how you're feeling? I know you don't want to worry them, but as I found out, my parents were more worried when I DIDNT tell them anything. maybe your friends jus sent the message cause they were worried about you?


  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Heyy,

    i get the feeling of not wanting your parents to know. Sometimes you just want to speak about these things to people who arent your parents and they should of respected that and that you may not feel the same of your parents supported you. Personally for me i hate my parents knowing - it just feels like a weird vibe esp if MH & suicide stuff is on the tv i feel awkward. Its hard for other people to understand that though. And if you did ever wanna tell your parents that should be in your control. But it does sound like both your friends and parents care and would care. 

    What corse are you doing if dont mind me asking?  It doesnt sound like youve failed in my point of view, sounds like you had a setback but keep trying either way and going to uni. I appercate may not feel that positive to you. But to an outside you sound strong and seeking help here is good too. 

    Take lots of care & keep posting here if youd like <3 well be listening. X
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 93 Budding Regular
    edited September 17
    Thanks @Past User and @Shaunie

    I’m currently doing a foundation year, and then going onto biomed and then I really want to do medicine. It just seems like it’s impossible to reach cause I have been set back so much. I don’t even think I will be smart enough anyway to do it but I just keep hoping. 

    The message to my parents has kinda scared me, so I have changed the way of thinking about stuff which is really helping. I’m just trying to show my friends that I am ok, and that I can get better. I’m keeping myself more distracted and trying not to let my feeling get to me. 

    I have told my parents how I hate uni, but it just scared them that I wasn’t happy at home, which I am. I just don’t want them to think they have done anything wrong. 
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    Hi @Eli444, 

    I have just caught up on your thread and wanted to say you did really well to open up about how you are feeling. I'm glad you felt able to share it here and we are all here to listen and support you :heart:

    I'm also at university and can really relate to some of the feelings you are experiencing. Studying for a future career can feel so nerve-racking, and I can hear you are worried you won't be smart enough, but the way I see it is that it's really great that you have dreams and aspirations. That is something that will really help you in life, regardless of intelligence! Try and take everything a step at the time rather than focusing on the big end goal - and I really believe you will get to great places :smile: There is a Student Life & Education section of the discussion boards too so if you ever wanted any support specifically related to that we are all here to support you :smile:

    It's really lovely of you to care so much about your parents, with not wanting them to worry about you or feel that they have done something wrong. But at the same time, they are there to support you and you really do deserve to feel supported. Saying that, we too are here to support you...you are important and we are here to listen no matter what :smile:

    Take good care :heart:



  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 93 Budding Regular
    Hi,

    I’ve spoken to some friends about how I feel, and I just feel like they think I’m looking for attention. They just ignore me even though I’m really struggling, it just makes me feel even more alone like no one even cares anyway. 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hey @Eli444

    Sending hugs, sorry to hear about your friends ignoring you, that doesn't sound very nice for you. We are always going to be here for you if you want to talk about things :heart:
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