If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. For Crisis Support (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Want to share your experience of using our Community?
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
TW It wasn’t just...
Former Member
Posts: 177 Helping Hand
rape, that’s just a word, it was so much more than that
its for every flashback, nightmare, every unkind memory that I have of you (him)
It fills my thoughts with questions, worries, fears, mistrust, hurt
I know you (him) raped me, abused me, manipulated me, made me feel guilty for things that just weren’t me
I blamed myself for all of this time, the disgust I have for my own body, that’s why I blame myself over and over
I know I’ll go to sleep, to wake up in the middle of the night reliving the things you did to me, triggers of your presence again,
when I do I’ll feel like a helpless and defenceless child
I make myself angry for all of the space in my head you (him) are taking up!
I feel trapped and suffocated by you (him)!
You (him) made me nothing but you (him) are nothing, you (him) achieved nothing!
Sorry third person - I’ll never be strong enough to just say it any other way
its for every flashback, nightmare, every unkind memory that I have of you (him)
It fills my thoughts with questions, worries, fears, mistrust, hurt
I know you (him) raped me, abused me, manipulated me, made me feel guilty for things that just weren’t me
I blamed myself for all of this time, the disgust I have for my own body, that’s why I blame myself over and over
I know I’ll go to sleep, to wake up in the middle of the night reliving the things you did to me, triggers of your presence again,
when I do I’ll feel like a helpless and defenceless child
I make myself angry for all of the space in my head you (him) are taking up!
I feel trapped and suffocated by you (him)!
You (him) made me nothing but you (him) are nothing, you (him) achieved nothing!
Sorry third person - I’ll never be strong enough to just say it any other way
5
Comments
You are so strong and brave to be able to write about what happened and I'm so sorry you had to go through such a horrible ordeal. The line about '...but you are nothing, you achieved nothing!' is really powerful and inspiring
If you ever feel like you need more support, Rape Crisis have a free confidential hotline at 0808 802 9999 (available daily at 12-2.30pm and 7-9.30pm)