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Tough year, feeling hopeless

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 4 Newbie
edited August 2019 in Health & Wellbeing
Hi everyone, I’m amara- basically, I’ve had a very tough year and it seems to have collected to the point where I feel no hope in life anymore (all my future dreams feel pointless). It started with my fibromyalgia when it got very bad in last summer, I have sinced managed to get it under control but the condition left me very drained. Then, my dad had several anxiety breakdowns which included almost overdosing on medicine, falling down the stairs, driving whilst high, and getting so erratic to the point where we had to lock ourselves in our room. This lead to a breakdown in the relationship between my mum and dad, with aguements all day for months. After this, I took my GCSEs. Then I started to notice that I was obsessing over the scars on my body (due to self-harm as an anxiety mechanism) to the point where it really puts me down (likely body dysmorphia), which I think is probably due to my obsession with control in my appearance as I can’t control much else. I have thoughts that my marks make me unlovable and worthless, which I know not rationally to be true, but it feels as though my brain is bullying me. During this time, I also felt very down due to the fact my friends did not seem to want to support me and it seemed I always gave more than I got, to the point where I avoided prom. Finally, on a meant to be relaxing holiday in Corfu, my dad collapsed in front of me to the point where I thought he was going to die (blood everywhere). Luckily, it it is not meant to be anything serious or continous (probably an electric shock), but I have constant nightmares about the accident and feel worried all the time. As you can probably gather, all this has made me feel as if there is no point in life anymore as obstacles get constantly thrown in my way. Thanks for any help in advance x

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey Amara and welcome to the Mix <3

    I'm really sorry to hear you have had a tough year and are feeling hopeless. I hope we can help and support you here <3

    How is your dad's health now, and his relationship with your mum? It sounds like that was a very worrying time and even in Corfu you were worrying. 

    Have you spoken to anybody about how you are feeling? A close friend/family member or a professional? You don't have to go through this alone and I hope by talking about it it may help a little. Understand you felt some of your friends did not want to support you and I can really relate to that as I've felt the same about some of mine. Sometimes I don't think they quite understand how much it would mean. 

    Sending hugs, thank you for sharing with us

    - Lucy

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Hi Amara, it's lovely to have you here :smile:

    I'm so sorry to hear how tough your year has been for you. It sounds you've been through an incredible amount and that it's left you feeling really low.

    It's understandable you feel like there's no point in life anymore. I promise it won't always be like this. You can see a point again.

    I just wanted to echo the things Lucy said and say that we're all here for you. Sending you love and hugs :heart:
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Hey! Welcome!

    im glad you're here and sharing this with us- have done well to share here all this here - sounds like a lot of things to be going through for yourself & with family.  

    You seem really self aware of how your thoughts may not be true.Because you are worthy.  I can relate to that feeling of how thoughts keep telling you things even tho you know may not be true. Have you had support for your body challenges?

    Can hear how seeing your dad like that would be traumatising and sounds awful to relive it in your dreams. Sometimes doing relaxing things before bed can relax mind for sleep. 

    you deserve people who support so I hope you're getting some support. & We all support you here to help you find hope & meaning in your life. 

    take lots of care <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 4 Newbie
    Hi everyone, just want to say thanks for all your messages- they’ve been very helpful in making me feel like I’m not alone, and it was useful to just offload everything. I know that this will get better, I need to remind myself of that on bad days  :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    Welcome Amara  :) 
    It's good that you are able to recognise these feelings, try and keep hope. I agree with what everyone else has said  <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm glad it was useful to be able to offload everything, you're always welcome to offload here if you need to :blush: 

    Keep holding on to that hope and look after yourself :heart:

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