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Tough year, feeling hopeless
Hi everyone, I’m amara- basically, I’ve had a very tough year and it seems to have collected to the point where I feel no hope in life anymore (all my future dreams feel pointless). It started with my fibromyalgia when it got very bad in last summer, I have sinced managed to get it under control but the condition left me very drained. Then, my dad had several anxiety breakdowns which included almost overdosing on medicine, falling down the stairs, driving whilst high, and getting so erratic to the point where we had to lock ourselves in our room. This lead to a breakdown in the relationship between my mum and dad, with aguements all day for months. After this, I took my GCSEs. Then I started to notice that I was obsessing over the scars on my body (due to self-harm as an anxiety mechanism) to the point where it really puts me down (likely body dysmorphia), which I think is probably due to my obsession with control in my appearance as I can’t control much else. I have thoughts that my marks make me unlovable and worthless, which I know not rationally to be true, but it feels as though my brain is bullying me. During this time, I also felt very down due to the fact my friends did not seem to want to support me and it seemed I always gave more than I got, to the point where I avoided prom. Finally, on a meant to be relaxing holiday in Corfu, my dad collapsed in front of me to the point where I thought he was going to die (blood everywhere). Luckily, it it is not meant to be anything serious or continous (probably an electric shock), but I have constant nightmares about the accident and feel worried all the time. As you can probably gather, all this has made me feel as if there is no point in life anymore as obstacles get constantly thrown in my way. Thanks for any help in advance x
edited by moderator
edited by moderator