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drink - TW sexual assault

ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,940 Community Veteran
edited June 2019 in Health & Wellbeing
tell me bout alcohol. wen n how u started u. u carry on fom day 1. I went out with a group of 'friends' once and they kept inviting even though they were bad news. they bullyd me on the phone, online, caused havoc in our house, wen they got band frm the house wen every1 was out. it seem tht they knew, they invite me downtown, where they used to speak to me in a pathetic voice, persuading me to give them money I mix with the wrong ppl. I went out to meet them at first coz things were making me unhappy. I spent time with them. we used to go somewhere downtown n drink. even wen I wanted to go home, they used to stop me. I got invited into group msging, I couldn't turn it off bcoz I was scared. 'ellie come out' they used to whimper down the phone. wen went out only 4 them to beat me up. there were only 4 at first. and after afew times, coz I thought I couldn't refuse. after the few outings, I wanted to go home, so I called taxi, and while I was doin tht someone swiped my phone out my hand. so I ran to a taxi rank and went home.

wen I got home I was about to relax. and they rang me back telling me tht they got my phone, so I called a taxi went downtown and they said tht my phone was in the park I got to the park and there was not lighting, then they grabbed me,, put me to the floor, hit me with stinging nettles nd then they passed me over to some boys where the sexual assault hpnd n I got forced
recently I confronted the ppl via txt. and their family where I sed tht they needed to die, her, her mother and.....I was angry, then the police got involved. they threated me too. they sed 'stop this, or we'll arrest u'
tell me bout alcohol
tell me how/what to look 4 stuff in ppl
why do ppl bully
I don't do the txting thing no more, every1 gets upset wen I self harm etc
my mental health is low :'(
thanx 4 listening
Crazy mad insane
Post edited by Aife on

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Hey

    Thanks for sharing. That sounds like an awful expereince. 

    Just so i can understand more but how did they ring you when you got home if they had your phone? 
    Cause it does sound like a good idea to block them from your phone. But its great you taken that choice for yourself of completely not doing the texting thing anymore

    theres a few questioned you ask like "why do people bully" im not sure on that but they clearly have their own challenges if they feel the need to bully and always completly their problem not yours. 

    Alcohol isnt the best. It can be good when use for social stuff in a safe place but shouldnt feel pressured into doing anything. 

    are you getting any support for your mental health, this truama or self harm?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,940 Community Veteran
    1 person who I try to tlk talk to who supposed to be a 'counciller'  tells me to move on but I cant, should I cut tht person out of my life
    Crazy mad insane
  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,940 Community Veteran
    I nearly called my mum, harsh names. like 'you're a loser, fcking tw*t, and boring' but she understands wen I insult her
    Crazy mad insane
  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,940 Community Veteran
    my sister's in Canada atm. we play games together, its my birthday soon. n I remember getting a harsh phonecall frm someone. which made me cry at family birthday pizza
    Crazy mad insane
  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,940 Community Veteran
    wats 'goochy in the hood' mean and 'moving moist'
    Crazy mad insane
  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl

    Hi @ellie2000

    It seems like you are going through a difficult time so I just wanted to say well done for being so open and honest. You are doing really well :smile:


    It’s good to see you have been talking to a counsellor, but I can see you don’t like the way they tell you to move on. There is absolutely no pressure to feel better straight away - sometimes things can take more time to “move on” from and that is okay. It might be that they didn’t mean for it to come across this way, so perhaps you could talk to them about how they make you feel and how they could best support you. How does that sound?


    I can see you nearly called your mum some harsh names and I am wondering if anything caused this? Sometimes when things get too much we can take it out on those around us. But you are doing a good thing by talking to us - talking is a great way to help ourselves feel better. 


    It can be upsetting to remember a bad time, like the phone call from the birthday pizza. But that doesn’t mean this birthday will be the same way :smile: have you spoken to anybody about this call?


    There are lots of phrases people use these days, that often don’t really have a meaning. I think goochy/gucci in the hood typically means “things are good”. But sometimes people can just use these phrases without any real meaning :) 


    Take good care, @ellie2000. Always remember we are here for you. :heart:


  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,940 Community Veteran
    Sometimes I think that bad ppl r still in the room n I insult her n she put up with it.wats bipolar? How does text  number work? Because I find it hard to talk on the phone
    Crazy mad insane
  • StephanieStephanie Moderator Posts: 1,083 Wise Owl
    Hey ellie :heart:

    Sending hugs, just want to echo what has already been said, we are here for you, it's positive to see you reaching out for some support. 

    This article is all about bipolar it may help you understand it more. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/bipolar-disorder/

    How you feeling today? :heart:
                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" - Albus Dumbledore 

    "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

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  • Han93Han93 Posts: 309 The Mix Regular
    Hi Ellie,

    I am so sorry to hear what you have been through - it sounds absolutely horrible. It's so easy to get in with the wrong crowd and you don't realise that it's happening until something really bad happens like what has happened to you so I just want you to know that you are here <3

    Does your mum know what has happened to you? Maybe she will understand why you are lashing out if she knows what has happened and you can sit and talk about it.

    The Mix have done an expert chat about bullying and it involves advice about cyber bullying that you might find useful if you're still experiencing the abusive texts and calls: https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/friendship/expert-chat-bullying-15348.html

    I'm really sorry that you are not finding your councillor useful - Mind has a really good article with some advice and helplines for sexual abuse and also for self harm: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/abuse/sexual-abuse/#.XRH2Cy2ZNo4
    https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/#.XRH2Ti2ZNo4

    There's also a section on The Mix all about drinking alcohol with a variety of articles which you might find useful: https://www.themix.org.uk/drink-and-drugs/drinking-alcohol/page/3

    In my personal opinion, I don't think theres necessarily anything wrong with drinking alcohol but as @Shaunie said you shouldn't feel pressured in to it. You have to do what's best for you and your mind and body.

    We are here to support you and you can always talk to us about anything! <3

  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,940 Community Veteran
    Today watched YouTube videos my fav vlogger. That makes feel gd. Playd abit of keyboard, playd abit of metro 2033, I'm watching black mirror atm
    Crazy mad insane
  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,940 Community Veteran
    With earphones in I'm happy content with myself, without them I think ppl r not gd, I can't go in public without thinking I could go haywire at any moment. How do you get through this phase
    Crazy mad insane
  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    Hi @ellie2000
    It's so good to hear your favourite vlogger makes you feel good. I really like YouTube too - who is your favourite vlogger? :smile: It sounds like you did some fun things that day, thank you so much for sharing!

    It's positive to hear that you feel happy and content with earphones in. I have definitely heard of people feeling similar ways about earphones - they can be peaceful. But it sounds frightening to be on edge about when you may go haywire without them.  Some people do wear earphones in public - so long as they are very cautious and aware of the roads and their environments, they can be soothing. You may even like to wear just one earphones to make sure you are aware of your environment. How do you think this would be?

    Often the best way to overcome a fear is by taking baby steps. You might find it helpful to go into public for very short periods of time - this could even just be outside without going far away - and slowly building up until you feel safe and supported in busier public places. There is no rush to feel better straight away - the important thing is that you are talking and seeking support :heart:

    Take good care :heart:

  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 3,940 Community Veteran
    My favourite YouTube person is ' kiera Bridget'
    Crazy mad insane
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Hey Ellie how are you doing today?

    Great to hear about things you like doing like to do

    sending hugs
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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