Father's Day Support Thread

Dancer

Hi amazing people (yes all of you ☺❤)

Father's Day can be a tough day for many of us. We thought it would be nice to create a thread where we can support each other, give hugs and link to further support. If you know someone who may be struggling today let them know you're there for them. 
 
You can reach out to any of our services to talk about anything today:

Discussion boards - join us here to talk about anything that's on your mind. 

Group chats - run Sundays-Thursdays from 8-9.30pm. Share what's on your mind with a group in Support Chat or join a General Chat to hang out and have fun.

Our helpline are open from 4-11pm everyday of the week. You can call them on 0808 808 4994 or use our one-to-one webchat service.

Crisis Messenger - our text service provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. You can text THEMIX to 85258.

You can also read some of our articles about how to cope when Mother's Day or Father's Day is difficult and dealing with important days after someone's died. 

We are all here for you today. Stay strong you beautiful people. Never forget that you are beautiful. ❤ You are amazing, beautiful, unique, strong, powerful and you. Remember this quote: Today you are you. That is truer than true. There is nobody alive who is youer than you. 

Thank you @Aife @The Mix for letting me use some of the stuff from the Mother's Day Support Thread that was made earlier in the year. It helped me a lot with making this thread. 

Aoife

Thanks so much for putting this thread together @Kasa2103

Dancer

Aife said:

Thanks so much for putting this thread together @Kasa2103

No problem. I enjoyed doing it. 

Former Member

Thank you for this Kasa 💗

I personally find Father’s Day hard because it’s difficult to celebrate him, when I can’t forgive him for the things he has done in the past. I feel guilty for not posting “happy Father’s Day” on social media but truthfully there isn’t that many happy times, and I can’t pretend that there are. 

Its a great idea to have created a thread like this to show support! It gives people a safe space to escape and talk if they feel overwhelmed by the day x

Im sending all my hugs and love to anyone struggling today ☺️💗

Jellyelephant

This is a lovely thread thank you kasa.

so some of you may know I have been in touch with my dad again over the last while after not having seen him since I was 16! In some ways it’s been so nice being able to have a dad in my life again because it’s what I always wanted.. but at the same time it’s really hard to forget the past. I feel bad celebrating Father’s Day and stuff when he abused me for years. I don’t know it just makes me feel conflicted inside. 

Dancer

Jellyelephant said:

This is a lovely thread thank you kasa.

so some of you may know I have been in touch with my dad again over the last while after not having seen him since I was 16! In some ways it’s been so nice being able to have a dad in my life again because it’s what I always wanted.. but at the same time it’s really hard to forget the past. I feel bad celebrating Father’s Day and stuff when he abused me for years. I don’t know it just makes me feel conflicted inside. 

No problem at all. I am glad that you managed to get back in touch with your dad but I feel so bad that he abused you for years. That is completely wrong and should have never happened. You did not deserve. I understand that it makes you feel so conflicted inside. *hugs*

Former Member

Jellyelephant said:

This is a lovely thread thank you kasa.

so some of you may know I have been in touch with my dad again over the last while after not having seen him since I was 16! In some ways it’s been so nice being able to have a dad in my life again because it’s what I always wanted.. but at the same time it’s really hard to forget the past. I feel bad celebrating Father’s Day and stuff when he abused me for years. I don’t know it just makes me feel conflicted inside. 

I’m glad that you have become in contact with him again Jelly, but I really understand how it must be difficult to rebuild a relationship after he was abusive towards you. It’s okay to not want to celebrate Father’s Day 💗

Lots of love x

Former Member

This is such a lovely idea @Kasa2103 Thank you for putting it together!

I'm indifferent towards Father's Day - for the last few years up until very recently, I was trying to distance myself from my dad. My stepmother was very emotionally abusive towards me for a long time, and he allowed it continue to a point where I suffered severe mental health issues. With her finally gone, we're trying to build a relationship again but it's very difficult for me to trust him (for good reason). 

We've never particularly celebrated Father's Day but I feel as though this year, he was expecting me to acknowledge it. I haven't so far, and I don't plan to. The idea makes me uncomfortable and honestly, I don't understand how he expects me to celebrate. 

I'm glad that there's somewhere on here for me, and other people who have difficult or non-existent relationships with their fathers, to talk about it. 

Jellyelephant

I’m struggling more than I thought I would today. Currently in bed crying. I had this idea that once he was back in my life everything would be great and don’t get me wrong I love having a dad back in my life but boyyyy celebrating him for Father’s Day is just bringing back a lot of old feelings... when he was abusing me it was like we pretended it didn’t happen, like even when I tried to tell my mum she said “don’t be silly, he’s not violent” despite the fact that previously he had pushed her to force his way into the house, started breaking things and threatening my mum.... and anyway turns out she knew the whole time because when I told her a few years ago she was like “I know”. So she ducking knew the whole damn time and kept sending me round there. So today it feels like that again, where I have to pretend it never happened and yeah it’s hurting me. I have my old teacher on Facebook because we were close in school and we talk sometimes still, and I asked her if there was any concerns about me when I was at school ... she said “I think we had concerns about you and whether you were struggling with your mental health. If I remember rightly you were self harming? I wanted to mentor you because I felt I understood, having self harmed for a long time myself. So pleased you're ok though lovely xx” and when she asked why I told her what I was going through and she was really shocked and upset that she hadn’t realised... I didn’t expect them to because I never told anyone after my mums reaction. There was only one time they could have found out: I had missed an injection a few weeks back and one day I just got told I had to go have my injection because I’d missed it... so I went and the nurse rolled my sleeve up and she saw the bruising on my arm... she asked me if there was anything I wanted to tell her and I said no and just walked out. She must have told the school because the welfare woman called me to speak to her and was asking me about the bruises. I told her that I did it to myself. She believed me.. so that was that really. I don’t know why I’m chatting all this shit on here sorry I just feel really emotional and confused 

Jellyelephant

Sorry this was all many years ago I’m so pathetic 

Former Member

Hey @Jellyelephant you're not pathetic at all, it sounds like you have been through a lot and it is no wonder that fathers day is triggering for you. I can hear the conflict you're feeling because it sounds like it is positive that he is back in your life, but at the same time it's negatively affecting you because it is bringing all these feelings back up. 

Did you ever talk to anyone else about it after you mentioned to your mum - like did you ever get counselling or even confide in a friend or somebody else? It's tough to carry around these feelings and I hope you managed to open up to somebody about it

Let us know how you're doing today, sending massive hugs 

- Lucy