Tw partner needs help

Former Member

Popped to see my husband at his new job today to drop off some bits for him to paint. Turns out he's not been in this week. In fact hes told them I have chucked him out and he's staying with a mate in London (we don't live in london) got home to find he had a pocket full of medication (my antidepressants and sons adhd meds and other stuff) he had planned to end his life. He has now had the sack I have no money as I have covered everything since starting new job. I also started new job so running behind on all the bills. He refuses to go hospital or to call anyone. I have work tomorrow it's my new job and I can't phone in sick I need the money now I am the only one. I have anxiety and depression already and now I am so much worse. He won't let me call his parents he won't let me do nothing. I have been physically sick with worry. I can't trust him he lies about everything and now promises that he won't try anything tomorrow but if I go and then he does I will be the one left to deal with it all. I just don't know what to do

[edited by moderator]

Former Member

Hey @littlegemz

I'm so sorry to hear your partner is going through this

It sounds like it's been affecting you a lot, and that's understandable. I can imagine I'd be feeling really helpless and worried in a position like that. And I see how this is making your anxiety and depression worse:(

It must be horrid being torn between needing the money, and being afraid he'll try something if you do go. I don't suppose he'd be willing to stay in public tomorrow, so that you can feel safer to go to work? Or could he go to work with you, maybe?

I think it's evident that he needs to talk to someone about how he's feeling. I really hope he'll accept help soon. Has he told you why he doesn't want to go to hospital or have you do anything?

We're here to support you through this. I'm sending much love

Former Member

I support adults with learning disabilities and am out all over the place with the other service users it's not possible for him to come. There is litterely nothing for him to do in public around here that doesn't involve spending money. We have the dogs but he refuses to walk them as he gets stressed....they do nothing he tells them and tend to ignore him. Never happens for me the dogs are really good for me (maybe they know about the lies and playing him up in protest for poor mummy 🐶😆)

Former Member

Hey @Past User,

Sorry that you and your boyfriend are going though at this current time, we will be here for you, I know this may sound strange at first but can you try and take your medication and your sons medication off of him because the last we all want is him to overdose on them,

I presume that your son was with your husband at the time, so make sure you check in on him to make sure he's doing ok too,

Have you thought about taking him out for an walk, I know this can be an challenge when in London to get somewhere quite and maybe try not to bring the dogs with you. I imagine this could be an challenge considering the job you do on an daily basis,

Hopes he's doing better today.
davcr0ck 

Former Member

Hi Dave we dont live in london (a lie he told work was that je had to stay in london as i chucked jim out which never happened)we are surrounded in wildlife beaches country walks etc. He refuses to come. Can't be bothered. All the meds are usually out of reach in a tin and now I have had to dispose of them all (lots of drugs especially controlled drugs for adhd etc start to break down on contact with air and are no good after a few hours. I have had to distroy the lot. Now me and my boy have no meds so another job for me to do. I will not let him do it now as can't trust him. 

Former Member

Do you want to talk about how things have been since you posted this, bud?