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Something is up with my head.

davcr0ckdavcr0ck South Oxfordshire (homophobic Oxfordshire) Posts: 774 Trailblazer
Hi all. I'm fed up on keeping this to myself, I would bring it up with my counsellor but she's currently on holiday in South Africa for 3 weeks.

Over the past month, I haven't been getting now more sleep than 6 hours (for me is terrible as I normally get 8 or 9) and I've been very stressed and anxious with college work and being around people.

I've been getting dreams where they have been happy and nice and then gone down hill very quickly. Some examples are I've been diagnosed with cancer and died from it and another one is I've been out with freinds and I stabbed to death. After having their dreams I will wake up and then cry for about half an hour.

The bit that's makes this even scaryer for me, is this happens when I'm awake as well to the point of been saying stuff in front of people don't kill me,

I've now scared the the cr** out of my friends, now to the where their won't talk to me. And because of this I've very anxious and stress at college too.

I think I should book an appointment to see my gp, but I'm  that OK with sharing my emotions and thoughs with him and the same with my parents. As I'm scared their think I'm an cycopath.

Any advice would be appreciated.
Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
Kathleen07Kasa2103

Comments

  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 9,278 Supreme Poster
    Heyy,

    glad you felt comfortable enough to share how you feel on here. It doesnt make you a psychopath to share how you feel. Cause if think about it - we all have a mental health so there is nothing that makes you a psychopath for when youre not feeling great. Same with phsyical. Have you felt comfortable speaking to your counsellor? Its good youve been able to open up to her. 

    I used to get dreams about dying too and i used to do the whole search your dream into google and google says it means youre either trying to escape your actual life or something is ending or changing. But i dk could be load of shit aha. Loads of things can cause dreams and lack of sleep can too and think theyre probably mostly related to stress so is horrible cycle. So Maybe doing relaxing things before bed could help so your brain is less overwhelmed. & taking time out of day to relax and do nothing & be in present & not think about past or future. Like sitting in nature and being mindful of everything colours shapes ect. That helps me anyway. 

    Can understand how is frustating for normal life and makes you scared of dying. Do you think you could explain this to your friends? Theyd be understanding if they was good friends. 


    Sorry dont have any more advice but hope it helped to write it here

    if you have the strength to sustain anorexia you have the strength to overcome it
    davcr0ck
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck South Oxfordshire (homophobic Oxfordshire) Posts: 774 Trailblazer
    @shaunie thanks for you response. I talk to my counsellor about some of my issues to her but theirs an hold other side of emotions and thoughts I gave which no one knows about.


    I've been having an lack of sleep for ages now and I don't remember the last time I wasn't stressed. At the moment both of theirs factor and anxiety get so bad like their are to the point where I get ill (currently got an blocked noise and sour throat). Yeah it is an terrible cycle to be and I haven't broken free ever since I started my GCSE (around 3 years ago) I prefer not to look back at the past as thats was one hell of an dark time (major surgery and near committing suicide)

    I would like to try siting in nature and just taking 5 minutes to myself but I can't leave the house as where i live is quite ruff, so I just spend most my time at home.i have tried meditation but most the time I would just start thinking about the past an cry for 10 minutes.

    I try explain it to my friends tomorrow at college. Thanks again for your help.
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
    ShaunieKasa2103
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 9,278 Supreme Poster
    Hey David. 

    Hope college goes okay today and that you can maybe talk to friends.  Hope they understand

    Never easy to open up to people & can be quite hard esp if not used to it. Do you think youll ever go to see you gp? They wont judge like we wont &  just want to help. 

    Is there any time of the day you feel less stressed? Or anything you used to enjoy/help you feel less stressed before? So maybe you can find ways to fill up your spare time or find ways to relax?

    hope youre taking good care of self 
    if you have the strength to sustain anorexia you have the strength to overcome it
    davcr0ck
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck South Oxfordshire (homophobic Oxfordshire) Posts: 774 Trailblazer
    Hey @shaunie I spoke to my friends about it today, they understand and where quite supportive (more than I thought they would be) but also got put on the suicide register (where you monitored when in college and I have to be picked up my parents at the end of the day) 

    I probably won't go to my gp because he has never diagnosed anything properly or given me the wrong medication for something. I may do if I can get another gp. And I would have to have an telephone call with him first before having an appointment with him,

    Over the past couple of weeks I've haven't been less stressed at all. Normally when I go train spotting I do but my parents aren't going to let me if I got theirs thoughs. 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
    ShaunieKasa2103
  • mags98mags98 Posts: 262 Moderator
    hey @davcr0ck

    Glad to hear your friends were quite supportive!

    Some times certain medications can have side effects of nightmares or really vivid dreams. I struggled with something similar and my dreams kept getting worse until I changed my medication and they are much better now. 

    I wouldn't worry that your GP might think you're a psychopath. Dreams aren't something we can control (would be so amazing if we could) and it's very common to have bad even horrific dreams that your GP may as well be use to it. If anything they might be thinking about their horrific dreams. 

    Have you thought about tracking when your nightmares happen? So if you get a nightmare, think about what happened in your day, what you ate or drank, how you were feeling etc, write it down and then over time see if there is common link.

  • mags98mags98 Posts: 262 Moderator
    I also attach an article on night mares which I found quite interesting. It gives information about night mares and possible causes. Hope it helps!
    https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/nightmares-in-adults#1

  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 9,278 Supreme Poster
    Do you think you can change your gp- sometimes that can really help. I am glad the school have put something in place to make sure you are safe and that your friends was supportive
    hope you manage to get some rest 
    if you have the strength to sustain anorexia you have the strength to overcome it
    davcr0ck
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck South Oxfordshire (homophobic Oxfordshire) Posts: 774 Trailblazer
    mags98 said:
    I also attach an article on night mares which I found quite interesting. It gives information about night mares and possible causes. Hope it helps!

    Thanks @mags98 for your insightful article.i notice that it mention about blood pressure tablets which I do take, but I can't stop taking their as their will cause an lot of damage to my heart, I've tryed changing them before because of another side effect their had but I would have to changed my heart value, for two more surgerys, so is it really worth it.

    I will start tracking my nightmares over the next two weeks, over Easter half term, I go and see an gp about my mental health with or without my mum i decide.

    Thanks both of you for your help. 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck South Oxfordshire (homophobic Oxfordshire) Posts: 774 Trailblazer
    Shaunie said:
    Do you think you can change your gp- sometimes that can really help. I am glad the school have put something in place to make sure you are safe and that your friends was supportive
    hope you manage to get some rest 
    I can try but I think my gp is oversubscribed. Only got two hours sleep last night, thankful I got two lessons until I go home. Thank for your help @Shaunie
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
    ShaunieKasa2103
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck South Oxfordshire (homophobic Oxfordshire) Posts: 774 Trailblazer
    An little update, 
    Hey @shaunie I spoke to my cardiologist about sleep and my mental health (as I wasn't waiting three weeks to see my gp) he suggested for stress management meditation with I'm trying now, sadly I can't have massages, as the oils used affect my inr levels (part of heart Condition) and I their comications with achnupunishny. About sleep he mentioned that I should remove all device out of my room (phone, laptop) and make my room as dark as possible, if this doesn't work, I need to speak to my gp about sleeping pills (don't practically want another pill to take) but if I got to do this to get better sleel then so be it. 

    I'm also applying for my prescription to be free after I hit 18 year old, overwise it going to cost me £120 each month. 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
    ShaunieKasa2103
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