We’d like to support young and young adult carers better. To improve our services, we’d like to hear your thoughts on where we should focus our efforts.

When you have 5-10 minutes, complete our short survey for a chance to win a £50 Amazon voucher. Everything you say is confidential and held in line with our privacy policy.

A girl is inviting me over, oh god.

NekolovesteaNekolovestea Posts: 38 Cool Newbie
So there's a girl I don't know much who is inviting me to her house in 2 weeks. I know she likes me and has the intention to ask me out ( she litteraly asked about my sexuality randomly in public yesterday ), but I still haven't moved on from my ex and I don't think I would ever be able to love her. I don't want a relationship, I don't even know if I want a second friend right now. I want to say no, but I don't know how. Or maybe shoud I force myself to go anyway... I need help  :#
“You must see with eyes unclouded by hate. See the good in that which is evil, and the evil in that which is good. Pledge yourself to neither side, but vow instead to preserve the balance that exists between the two.” 
-Hayao Miyazaki
Tagged:

Comments

  • kathleen0172kathleen0172 Posts: 1,081 Fanatical Poster
    Heya dude,

    I would say that it's awesome she likes you, but with your feelings maaaybe not :/

    Do you like her back at all? Or do ya not think you'd ever really want a relationship with her? Just wondering, as my response would vary a little bit depending. If you think one day you would like to be in a relationship with her, but you're not sure and you're not ready yet, I'd say maybe talk with her about your feelings and how you're going to need some time. If you don't at all like her however... Well, I guess you'll have to find a kind way to explain that to her. Just say if you could use suggestions on what to say, whatever the case :)

    Really sorry for the rushed response (have to go sort my guinea pig out for the night), I'm wishing you the best with your situation!

    <3

  • NekolovesteaNekolovestea Posts: 38 Cool Newbie
    Hey @kathleen0172, nice to see you~!

    I don't think it's that great honestly as she is going to be disapointed one day or another. D:
     
    I mean, if I forget about anxiety, I enjoy being around her, but that's it, I know I will never have feelings for her, we just don't match, not the same values, just not comptaible in general, she told me I was boring because I don't have a phone lol. I could not be in a relationship with her, but I don't know how to say no to the invite, nor would I know how to say no if she ever asked me out.

    Thank you for your kind answer and I hope you you are doing great! <3

    “You must see with eyes unclouded by hate. See the good in that which is evil, and the evil in that which is good. Pledge yourself to neither side, but vow instead to preserve the balance that exists between the two.” 
    -Hayao Miyazaki
    kathleen0172
  • kathleen0172kathleen0172 Posts: 1,081 Fanatical Poster
    @Nekolovestea ah, it's a tricky situation :frown:

    Think the best thing you can do in terms of saying no, is to attempt to keep it casual and friendly? Maybe if she asked you out you could smile and shake your head then say, "aw, *name*, you're cool, but I don't view you like that. I like you as a mate, I'm just not ready for a relationship right now anyway." And just... Hope to god she doesn't take it too badly lol.

    Or maybe you could try to make her realise that you don't like her back in that way by making a jokey comment? So if she's asked you to come to hers, you could say, "yeah, I guess... Just DON'T ask me out, okay? *laughs*" Just an example! 

    I'm starting to feel almost glad I suck, I'd hate to have people trying to spark a romance (think I'm aromantic anyway) xD Ahaha! 

    It's no probs, I hope you're (at least relatively) well <3 

  • NekolovesteaNekolovestea Posts: 38 Cool Newbie
    edited February 10
    @kathleen0172

    Aaaaand, I said yes to her invite, even though I know i don't want to go, I'll either need to find a way to cancel or just go, I guess. If she ever asks me out I'll probably use the first method, definitely more comfortable with that lol. 
    “You must see with eyes unclouded by hate. See the good in that which is evil, and the evil in that which is good. Pledge yourself to neither side, but vow instead to preserve the balance that exists between the two.” 
    -Hayao Miyazaki
    kathleen0172
  • ShaunieShaunie No one. England 🏠Posts: 3,799 Ultimate Poster
    Hey would be best to not lead her on if you dont like her in that way. Maybe you can suggest going out - that would seem more friendly then going round her house. 
    Kindness begins from the understanding that we all struggle.
  • kathleen0172kathleen0172 Posts: 1,081 Fanatical Poster
    @Nekolovestea Sounds okay :-) And lol, I hope you won't have to use either in the first place really xD

    Keep us posted on how everything goes (if you want to of course).

    xo



Sign In or Register to comment.