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A girl is inviting me over, oh god.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 57 Boards Initiate
in Sex & Relationships
So there's a girl I don't know much who is inviting me to her house in 2 weeks. I know she likes me and has the intention to ask me out ( she litteraly asked about my sexuality randomly in public yesterday ), but I still haven't moved on from my ex and I don't think I would ever be able to love her. I don't want a relationship, I don't even know if I want a second friend right now. I want to say no, but I don't know how. Or maybe shoud I force myself to go anyway... I need help  :#
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Heya dude,

    I would say that it's awesome she likes you, but with your feelings maaaybe not :/

    Do you like her back at all? Or do ya not think you'd ever really want a relationship with her? Just wondering, as my response would vary a little bit depending. If you think one day you would like to be in a relationship with her, but you're not sure and you're not ready yet, I'd say maybe talk with her about your feelings and how you're going to need some time. If you don't at all like her however... Well, I guess you'll have to find a kind way to explain that to her. Just say if you could use suggestions on what to say, whatever the case :)

    Really sorry for the rushed response (have to go sort my guinea pig out for the night), I'm wishing you the best with your situation!

    <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 57 Boards Initiate
    Hey @kathleen0172, nice to see you~!

    I don't think it's that great honestly as she is going to be disapointed one day or another. D:
     
    I mean, if I forget about anxiety, I enjoy being around her, but that's it, I know I will never have feelings for her, we just don't match, not the same values, just not comptaible in general, she told me I was boring because I don't have a phone lol. I could not be in a relationship with her, but I don't know how to say no to the invite, nor would I know how to say no if she ever asked me out.

    Thank you for your kind answer and I hope you you are doing great! <3

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited September 18
    @Past User ah, it's a tricky situation :frown:

    Think the best thing you can do in terms of saying no, is to attempt to keep it casual and friendly? Maybe if she asked you out you could smile and shake your head then say, "aw, *name*, you're cool, but I don't view you like that. I like you as a mate, I'm just not ready for a relationship right now anyway." And just... Hope to god she doesn't take it too badly lol.

    Or maybe you could try to make her realise that you don't like her back in that way by making a jokey comment? So if she's asked you to come to hers, you could say, "yeah, I guess... Just DON'T ask me out, okay? *laughs*" Just an example! 

    I'm starting to feel almost glad I suck, I'd hate to have people trying to spark a romance (think I'm aromantic anyway) xD Ahaha! 

    It's no probs, I hope you're (at least relatively) well <3 
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 57 Boards Initiate
    edited February 2019
    @kathleen0172

    Aaaaand, I said yes to her invite, even though I know i don't want to go, I'll either need to find a way to cancel or just go, I guess. If she ever asks me out I'll probably use the first method, definitely more comfortable with that lol. 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Hey would be best to not lead her on if you dont like her in that way. Maybe you can suggest going out - that would seem more friendly then going round her house. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited September 18
    @Past User Sounds okay :-) And lol, I hope you won't have to use either in the first place really xD

    Keep us posted on how everything goes (if you want to of course).

    xo


    Post edited by TheMix on
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