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"Don't be so selfish"

sozforhappysozforhappy Deactivated Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
edited February 2019 in Sex & Relationships
I've so had enough of people especially my family calling me selfish when I try hard to think of others. It's just that things about them never happen to one into my head or I unintentionally forget to do their favours and it just unrealisably goes out of my head. It especially pisses me off when they take their temper out on me for stuff thats only their business or being bothered for something I just like to do. Like not doing house chores on time so they don't get their flow of supplies or not preparing the table because I'd already eaten or taking long in the bathroom when I'm a young girly lady so of course I'll do that. Honestly, I'm fed up with being told to think of others when others won't understand me. Whether I live under the roof or still part of the family there's no reason for them to be so nasty and get mad at me for stuff that don't directly have anything to do with me. I so wish I was never part of the family. I hate them, I really do. As much as I want their attitude to stop I hate telling them how I feel cuz they'll just say I have to put up with the fact that I'm living under the roof and will be part of the family no matter what and I hate hearing how it's just the way it is. I always think I'm having a good day but then they always ruin it by saying something annoying and hurtful especially when looking out for themselves. And were humans, we can never help being selfish in some ways or other especially with the people who annoy us most. That's the whole reason I don't ever want to have a family in the future and just live under my own roof, so I can do whatever I want without anyone complaining. I know parents do loads for us but that's a whole different matter, I'm never getting married and becoming a parent myself. It's also a whole different matter outside the house. Hence I don't need to get used to considering others at home that much (unless of guests of course but again that's different).

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    I dont think you are selfish. But I think we all get selfish at some points. And even that doesnt make us a selfish person. And we can put ourself first. Not always selfish and sometimes just self care. Like taking long in the bath. & Sometimes is hard to think about others when we have so much going on in our heads and forget to do things like their favoures. Though its not selfish and its understandable that you would be annoyed for them taking their anger out on you when has nothing to do with you.  

    I hope you can find ways to de stress & take care
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    sozforhappysozforhappy Deactivated Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    I hate when people tell me not to make my problems all about me too saying I need to see things from the perspective of the one being mean to me. In my world it's ALWAYS about me! Why should I see things from the bullys perspective, they don't deserve it at all! I never do anything to anyone directly.
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    Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @sozforhappy
    Just wanted to say it sounds like you're going through such a tough time with your family and I hope it gets better at some point soon... Do you have anything you can do at home to distract yourself/get away from them? 

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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    chubbydumplingchubbydumpling Posts: 487 Listening Ear
    Hi @sozforhappy

    I'm sorry you're going through a rough time and I hope our support at least shows you that you are not alone or unheard.

    When did these problems with your family start? It sounds to me as though, from your other posts, you're clashing over your culture and their expectations of you a lot, and I wondered whether it has always been like that. Now that you are an adult you're free to make these choices about how to live your life independent of your parents and there is nothing wrong with that, or being frustrated by their seeming lack of understanding. 

    I wonder, if that is something you and your parents would consider, whether family therapy is an option. Talking through these issues with an unbias third party could help you all gain a bit of perspective and insight into each others' concerns. 

    Otherwise, I hope you're finding something good to occupy yourself and that you feel better :)
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