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Ways to Cope with Anxiety
Former Member
Posts: 193 Trailblazer
Hey everyone 
Some of you may have already picked up that my biggest challenge in life right now is anxiety, specifically Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It has taken over and ruined my life for years and years and years. I've missed out on so many opportunities because the anxiety from it is so crippling and I just can't seem to get any handle on it. I'm starting some therapy for my BDD next week, which I'm really hoping will help, but I also wanted to reach out to this community for suggestions because I know there's so much great experience on here and I think often people who struggle with these kinds of issues themselves are the best placed to offer useful and constructive advice on how to deal with them.
So I thought it would be really helpful for all of us who struggle with anxiety (be that general, social, health, OCD, BDD, PTSD, paranoia, or any other kind of anxiety at all!) to create a thread where we collect together all the different methods we've learnt for coping with our anxiety - whether that's from personal experience, or something you learnt in therapy, or something you read in a self-help book, or online. Just any ideas you've come across that help you manage your anxiety. That way anyone looking at this thread will find a whole load of different suggestions to try and hopefully one of them might work for them. And I'll add my own ones in the comments as we go along too.
Some of you may have already picked up that my biggest challenge in life right now is anxiety, specifically Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It has taken over and ruined my life for years and years and years. I've missed out on so many opportunities because the anxiety from it is so crippling and I just can't seem to get any handle on it. I'm starting some therapy for my BDD next week, which I'm really hoping will help, but I also wanted to reach out to this community for suggestions because I know there's so much great experience on here and I think often people who struggle with these kinds of issues themselves are the best placed to offer useful and constructive advice on how to deal with them.
So I thought it would be really helpful for all of us who struggle with anxiety (be that general, social, health, OCD, BDD, PTSD, paranoia, or any other kind of anxiety at all!) to create a thread where we collect together all the different methods we've learnt for coping with our anxiety - whether that's from personal experience, or something you learnt in therapy, or something you read in a self-help book, or online. Just any ideas you've come across that help you manage your anxiety. That way anyone looking at this thread will find a whole load of different suggestions to try and hopefully one of them might work for them. And I'll add my own ones in the comments as we go along too.
1
Comments
1) laughing - I'll joke around, watch something funny, whatever
2) listening to my favourite music
3) going out
4) hiding in a quiet, safe-feeling room
5) playing games online
I look forward to other's replies
1. Write down all the negative thoughts
2. Write down 3 positives from the day
Ive also got a bag of coping things that helps to settle my anxiety it has ;
- A set of coping cards ( different techniques and numbers of people to ring
- A tangle
- some lip butter and hand cream ( helps with sensory things , to help to calm sensory overload )
- A Jacobs ladder
- A copy of my safety plan ( more for the distraction techniques and some of the numbers I have on them )
1) Whats the worst that can happen? For example someone might judge me and think im stupid. Then you rationalise it and think well do I really care what one person thinks? Why is their opinion so important? and then a lot of the time you realise that the worst possible outcome actually isn't *that* bad and also often wont end up happening.
2) Look for evidence. What evidence do you have to back up your thoughts? For example if you think you are stupid and it makes you feel anxious in class you can rationalise it. So I often feel stupid, but I tell myself I have a degree and have lots of qualifications and stuff so I cant be that stupid if I look at the evidence.
3) THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS!!! Just seen this post on Tiffany Roe's instagram - btw if you havent seen her stuff check her out, I love her insta its full of self love, self care, therapy thoughts and stuff that help you.
4) Distract - I feel very anxious about being out in public, so if I have to leave my house I always have my headphones and some music that I can turn up loud to drown out the thoughts and give me something to focus on. I try and follow the lyrics to take my mind off things.
5) Self soothe/grounding - I really recommend having an emergency toolkit for tough times! Some people also call it a self care box etc but it is basically a box full of ideas of things to do when you are struggling. So I have stuff like sensory toys, therapy putty, puzzles, colouring pages, essential oils, distraction lists, notes from people I love, photos, face masks, sweets etc. That way when you feel like crap and you cant focus to think of what to do you can just grab your box and all the ideas are right infront of you, you can just choose what will help in the moment or try a few things out. I like to have something for each of my senses in there to help ground me during severe anxiety/flashbacks. I also have a weighted blanket in my room - when its all too much sometimes I just get in bed and put my weighted blanket over me and I find that soothing! Using ur senses can really help.
6) Write it down! Dont know about you guys but I constantly have a million thoughts racing in my mind and I overthink a lot... so I have been doing a thing my therapist suggested called the three page blurt. Basically you start writing and just keep going and dont stop until you have written three pages. It doesnt have to make sense or be neat or anything its just a "blurt" of what you're thinking! I tend to do this before bed to help me sleep.
7) Another writing thing, but slightly different. So say you have something you need to do that is anxiety provoking, use all ur techniques to get through it and if you manage it.... write down how it went and stuff to remind yourself that you can do things and nothing bad will happen. I tend to write beforehand how I feel and what Im scared will happen etc...... then afterwards I write how it went and what was positive about it, if i feel proud of myself etc. I find this really useful because then when you are scared about something you can look back and see that you yourself have got through lots of stuff and it turned out ok.
8) Try not to avoid stuff! The more you avoid what you are anxious about the more anxious you will feel. Its that saying of feel the fear and do it anyway! it really works. The more you avoid and the more anxious you get, the more things you will feel anxious about and the more you will avoid and its a viscious circle that you dont want to get into! Its really hard to do this but hopefully using all ur best coping techniques you can do it. I was agorophobic and I just did it step at a time - so I would talk to my support worker about leaving the house, then the next step was to walk outside my front door, then we walked to the end of the street, then a bit further etc and we just kept doing more and facing the fear. It got better eventually and now I can leave my house alone. I know I have made it sound simple, and of course its not easy, but its really important!
9) Talk to someone! There is alwayssss someone who cares and will listen to you whether that is your family, friends, doctor, teacher, youth worker, therapist, neighbour and there is always us at the mix! being able to talk through your thoughts and anxieties can really help, and sometimes as well the other person can help reassure us and help to rationalise our thoughts with us.
10) Finally - Routine. I really find having a good routine helps me.... especially when it comes to sleeping. I try and wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day. I also try and stick to a routine of at about 10pm I will have a nice warm shower, put my pajamas on, do a facemask or a cleanse and moisturising routine and then I use my espa serum which I inhale and then put a few drops on my face because the scent really relaxes me. Now of course different people will have different things in their routines, so it is whatever helps you most! and this can take a bit of trial and error but I find this can really help. Also having a good nights sleep can reallyyyyyyy have a positive impact on your mood.
Sorry if this is long! It is just some things that I have found helpful for me. So I hope they might help some of you guys too!
Love Jelly
xxx
I am really loving all the suggestions so far!
I find hiding in a quiet room for a while and focusing just on phone games or doing online puzzles helps me too Kathleen. For a little while at least.
Coping cards sound like a great idea Millie. Can I ask what a tangle and Jacobs ladder are?
I've often wondered about doing a self-care box like that Jelly but I never get round to it because I can't think what to actually put in it.... I could also do with learning some grounding techniques because I tend to dissociate really badly when I'm very anxious. I don't really know any though, other than one my previous therapist taught me where you have to tune into your senses and notice 5 things you see, 5 things you hear, and 5 things you can feel against your body. I'm also really bad for avoidance, I've really got myself into a rut with that (to the point I barely leave the house). Hoping the therapist can help me with that because I've not had much luck tackling it on my own.
Thanks again everyone for all the suggestions.
1st one is jacobs ladder and the second one is the A tangle . Both kinda of fidgety / sensory type toys
Some very interesting ideas on here, i had never heard of a jacobs ladder before but that sound like a great tool to have @Millie2787
I tried using meditation to help my anxiety which was helpful. I still use some of the techniques I learnt when I am in a difficult situation now to help calm myself down.
I also fidget with things too when i'm anxious, such as hair bobbles or my watch
I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression last year. Mine is more of a generalised anxiety, verging on agoraphobia sometimes. I get very nervous in social situations as well.
For me, it helps to visualise when I'm experiencing an outburst of negative thoughts. I like to picture a tap in my head, that I can control, that way when the thoughts come I can slowly filter out the anxiety by slowly turning the water off. If that makes sense.
My therapist and I are working on ranking the experiences that give me anxiety in order to break them down into small, doable steps. Exposing yourself to behaviours and situations that ordinarily give you anxiety in small increments is a good start. For example, instead of throwing yourself in at the deep end by going to a big supermarket alone, start by getting used to walking to and from the corner shop with a friend.
I've not tried meditation @Past User but I've tried a bit of mindfulness before and always found it really difficult because my mind just wanders all over the place and I can't stop the thoughts coming. I've heard it can really help though, I just seem to be really bad at it!
That's a really interesting idea visualising the anxiety like that @Past User. I might give that a go myself. I definitely see your point about exposing yourself to things gradually too. I've tried exposure myself and have found that it doesn't really seem to work for me. Like however many times I do something I never seem to feel less anxious about it. Really hoping a therapist can maybe help me with this because I've never done it with support, only on my own.