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Young Carers & Mental Health - self care tips

TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,112 Boards Guru
edited January 2019 in Health & Wellbeing
Hey Everyone :) 

You may have heard that next Thursday (31/01/18) is Young Carers Awareness Day! 

It's a day all about raising awareness for young people who also have caring responsibilities.   We are keen to get behind this day and show all young carers that we see you.  <3

This year's theme is mental health, which recognises that sometimes young carers don't have the time to focus on their own needs.

If you are a young carer (or young adult carer) Welcome!  
We would really like to hear more about what its like to be a young carer.   If your up for it - tell us about the ups and downs, and what you do to take care of yourself when things get tough. 

If your not a young carer but want to show your support?
Take some time to read about the experiences of young carers here and then try sharing some of your favourite self care tips for mental health and well being.  We think that this community are the perfect people to listen and help out.  

.. and who knows maybe one day a young carer will stumble along this thread and find just what they are looking for.  We would love it if you could all get involved :) 

If you would like to share a social post to show your support on Thursday, Carers Trust (the awesome org behind this day) would love it if you could use #CareForMeToo 

Italia & The Team 
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Comments

  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,194 Part of The Furniture
    edited January 2019
    Being a Young Carer for means I’m looking after my nephew who had Social , emontional , mental health issues and more recently I’ve started to provide emontional support for my mum .

    The ups of my day are seeing the change I can make to my nephews life just that bit better. Spending times with him in the morning to make sure he’s settled and calm before heading off to his alternative provision school. The ups of caring for my mum is just seeing her crack a simple smile after somthing I say or do really does light up my world as it’s nothing something I see that often anymore.🌍 

    The downside is that 90% of my care role is emontional support and that really does take its toll. I have to deal with meltdowns from my nephew which can be really upsetting to see to more recently arguments with paramedics who want to take my mum to A&E for a crisis. 

    Also having mental health difficulties myself with my anxiety there will be days where I don’t want to leave the house , where I don’t even want to leave my room and that makes me feel guilty as I’m leaving mum and my nephew to cope by themselves whilst my dad is at work.

    us as a family also struggle with money so when it comes to winter months having the heating in all the time costs money and quite often I end up having to use my babysitting money or wages to stick a tenner into the gas as we simply don’t have it.

    i cope in so many different ways . The main one being just talking to someone wheaten that be a key worker from our young carers services on the end of a phone or arrayinnh to meet them for a drink the next day, I talk to all the friends I have made over the years at the service and I try to do self care , taking time for myself colouring baths cooking whatever I feel like .  - though this can be quite difficult when you are a Young Carer . I think it’s about remembering that your never be a burden to your family if your having off days , they expect that and Attucally it kind of prepares them for when I go off to uni and I’m not going to be there all day every day. We have to remember to tell ourselves that we do somthing amazing that helps to change and shape someone in our families life and yes it may be tough sometimes and there be times where I just wish I wasn’t one but being told your doing somthing amazing is pretty special to me 
    Post edited by Millie2787 on
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Carer/musician Posts: 819 Part of The Mix Family
    I can echo all of what Millie said. 

    I am terrible for trying to self care. I can tell you million ways to self care but i will never follow my own advice. Some carer struggle to find for them.

    I'm the dark shadow to the carer community here I love to hide and appear when required. This my last YCAD as a young carer and i am happy to say well you carers trust for making mental health as an article which will appear soon around the boards in the newsletter. this theme can be seen from 2 angles what is a mental health carer and how can you as a carer look after there own mental health. 

    Throw question on the thread someone will answer them no matter how big small import or dumb they are. Although no question can be dumb when it comes to carers. <3
  • TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,112 Boards Guru
    edited January 2019

    @Shaunie just moving your post over here :) 
    Originally posted by @Shaunie
    I hope this is okay to ask. 
    Sorry massive question. Hope right place cause said "AMA on this thread"
    But know a lot of people support someone with a mental health problem and call themselves a carer - which i get if lots of caring invloved but still confused. Cause while reading this stuff i realise my family could be carers for me. They help me mostly with my eating & i get into crisis which they sometimes deal with - they call themselves a sister or a Dad not a carer or say it is a job. Should they call themselves a carer ? Givimg some level of emotional support imo is part of that role of being sister ect not a job? i am confused - ironically the word makes sound like a burden rather than caring imo. 
    I hope that doesnt offend anyone reading 



    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Carer/musician Posts: 819 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey @Shaunie

    They call them self your sister or your dad because they are still your family. They might not call them self a carer because like you said there family, they might not also realise they are carer, and sometimes just because they don't want to hurt your feeling. Both myself and Aimee are both carer for different family members but we are still sisters, brothers, aunties daughter to the ones we carer for

    A mental health carers role is - to support someone with emotional needs as well as giving them the support they need to continue going in there day to day life, if that is by cooking doing the cleaning or even helping you get out of bed, similar to a physical carer but giving that additional need of mental health support. 

    I won't lie, its one of the hardest to work out if your a mental health carer, often takes someone to identify them. 

    Abi & Aimee. 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited January 2019
    That makes complete sense & well explained. Thank you @Abigail & @Aimee  , sorry if was stupid question://
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 193 Trailblazer
    I don't think that's a stupid question at all @Shaunie. My dad openly calls himself a mental health carer for me, but I feel a bit conflicted about it to be honest, because although he does really help me with practical things (for which I am very grateful!) he's not really supportive of me emotionally and always just brushes me off whenever I want to talk about something or minimises my problems. That doesn't mean I'm not really grateful for all the practical support he gives me because I am, I just feel like him calling himself my mental health carer is a bit contradictory when he doesn't want to be involved in the emotional side of things at all.

    That said, I think all you young carers are absolutely amazing individuals and I have so much respect for what you guys handle in your day-to-day lives. I also know all sorts of self-care tips but rarely manage to follow them myself. I guess the one self-care thing that helps me the most is spending time around animals, especially my cat, because cuddles from him always make me feel better and the sound of his purring is so calming and comforting. I feel like animals give you a good time out from human company because they don't judge you in the same way and they don't require any conversation, they're happy to just sit and be with you. So that's what helps me the most.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,194 Part of The Furniture
    edited January 2019
    Shaunie said:
    That makes complete sense & well explained. Thank you @Abigail & @Aimee  , sorry if was stupid question://
    Not stupid at all @Shauine , me and @Abigail are here tonight well anytime Attucally to answer any more questions that you and others might have . 

    We like to think that no question is stupid when it comes to Young carers ❤️
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited January 2019
    & for self care i think going outside by yourself and looking at nature is really relaxing if things get overwhelmin that want break from it and fresh air. And away from people to recharge & destress And is quiet. And focus on things you can see in detail and being in the present and not thinking about tasks that you need to do or something that has happened. But just noticing the shapes & colours & detail of things & being mindful - could help as probably being a young carer can be stressful thinking about tasks need doing
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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