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Stutter

Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
edited December 2018 in Health & Wellbeing
Hi Guys 

When I was younger I used to have quite a bad stutter and really struggled through Primary and middle school. After a lot of hard work with the local SALT Team we managed to reduce it.

Latley I’ve noticed that when I get anxious or Nervous my sutter tends to creep back in especially with S and B and it’s really embarrassing, I had a job interview the other week and it started to Creep back in and I’m unsure on what to do when it does.

Also if anyone does have a stutter what I find most frustrating is when people try to finish my words or sentences for me - makes me feel really stupid and that there getting frustrated with me - Does anyone have any tips on how to tell those people to basically stop as it’s not really helping me ? 

Aimee 💙
Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
Post edited by Millie2787 on

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited December 2018
    Hey


    i used to have a stutter when anxious. And quite pleased that it’s not even noticeable now and does get easier. 

    I understand the frustration of someone trying to finish your sentance. They think they’re trying to help. But sometimes for ourselves it’s feels really important to say what we want to say ourselves without someone assuming and predicting what we are saying. - something I think someone will understand if you explain that to them - as it will also help with your confidence too. They may think they’re taking the pressure of you - which sometimes felt like the case for me but rest of the times it was annoying.

    I think explaining to them how you appreciate that they may be trying to help but explain to them why you’d rather them to not - and they may understand.  And also being completly honest to them may make you feel less nervous and less stressed and maybe you’d feel less pressure to finished your sentences quickly before someone else does - which is only going to make it worse. 

    Hope makes sense :)
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Hey Aimee :)

    One of my very good friends in college has a stutter,  mostly with words starting or ending with s.

    I don't particularly but I mix words up and sometimes say one different but similar (like ensure and assure is a biggy. Anxiety definitely makes mine Worse so it really doesn't help when people "help" Sometimes when I really can't find that word and I ask I'm happy for a hand but when it's something like using less instead of fewer. Or putting one word in front of another (time about)  people still underunderstand, so I don't need to be "helped" like a child as it just makes me feel stupid. 

    So I can understand the annoyance when correcting. And the scariness behind having to tell people but it's absolutely okay to say how you feel like "excuse me that doesn't actually help me it just makes me belittled" keep less like your mother would tell you to say it 😂 The point is it's okay to say it but the how is tricky.

    Most people shouldn't be upset if you ask/tell them nicely and if they are then they're really not worth talking to xo

    I'm sure your job interview went splendid so try not to feel bad about it,  these things make us who we are and people are usually waking to accommodate them :) xo


  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    Thank you Both @laine and @Aidan

    i didn’t get the job and can’t help but think maybe my stutter had somthing to do with it.
    I think my problem is I’m too nice to tell people to basically stop finishing my sentences for me.

    Attucally Aidan I find I have a really short attention span as well and can’t retain information - I’m the same if something catches my eye on TV sometimes stumble of the words I try to find and don’t worry what you said was a great help ! 

    Laine - i quite often struggle with finding the right word I’m looking for which make me stutter even more which means I get more anxious which makes me stutter even more 🤦🏻‍♀️


    Post edited by TheMix on
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    That's okay Aimee honestly I'm too nice and still haven't found the words to tell people I hate it too.  

    Try building up to it? Maybe tell someone through text first?  And work up to saying it. 
    If you say it nicely I'm sure they won't mind and if they do then that's their problem xo

    Anxiety can definitely make it worse.  I find thinking about it makes me mess up more it's a vicious cycle lol xo
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited December 2018
    Gosh why do people purposely and intentionally ignore my comments. 

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    I'm sure she didn't do it in purpose Shaunie sometimes it's hard to see on mobile when scrolling and it might not have refreshed. All input is always welcome xo
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
    Shaunie said:
    Gosh why do people purposely and intentionally ignore my comments. 

    Shaunie said:
    Gosh why do people purposely and intentionally ignore my comments. 

    Sorry @shaunine when I replied to lanie and Aidan last night yours wasn’t there - I’m unsure why , give me a few mins to read through as I’ll reply 💖
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
    @shauine I’m so sorry I didn’t see your comment usually I use my laptop when I log in but l used my phone and lately the website doesn’t seem to be likeing my phone 🤦🏻‍♀️
     I Went through SALT team in primary one of the things they picked up on was that I would sutter more when I was anxious is seemed to lay dormant as is so to speak but latley it seems to be becoming more and more prominent.
    i think I’m going to see if mum can write a letter to college as it tends to be teachers that finish my sentaces - asking that they don’t as it really doesn’t help- I know hey only try to help but sometimes they don’t even get the right word 😂
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    So sorry @Millie2787 I should question if people have read my comments before jumping to conclusion I am being ignored. 

    I think that they may be they’d be happy that you told them so they know how to better help you:) and definetly not rude or anything. and think writing a letter sounds like great idea
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
    Shaunie said:
    So sorry @Millie2787 I should question if people have read my comments before jumping to conclusion I am being ignored. 

    I think that they may be they’d be happy that you told them so they know how to better help you:) and definetly not rude or anything. and think writing a letter sounds like great idea
    Don’t worry I know you ment  well 💖
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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