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Struggling keeping university friendships due to mental health

beth123beth123 Posts: 1 Just got here
So I have always had a strong group of friends who have fully understood my mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. They have always been positive support systems and really knew me, so would help me with day to day tasks that they knew would trigger me. 

I am now in my second year of university. The first year ran mostly smoothly with my new friends being aware of my issues but me not letting them show too much. However, lately my mental health has got very bad again and been stopping me do simple everyday tasks such as going to university or cooking my tea.Its also had a huge impact on my mood and my patience. I am fully aware i am not the nicest person to be around at the moment but I cant cope with my feelings.

Anyway lately I have been feeling like i am a really bad person because they get annoyed I am not making an effort with them or say keeping my room as tidy as normal. I then snap and things can escalate. I understand it is frustrating for them and I hate myself for having an effect on them. But I am not sure how to handle this whole situation and sometimes feel it would be better if I moved home and dropped out of uni because i can feel themselves distancing from me. I have never had this struggle with friendships before and did not expect it to happen at age 21. 

Sorry this was mainly just to get my feelings out but any advice would be welcomed. 


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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,558 Skive's The Limit
    Hi @beth123

    I am sorry that you feel like you may be losing your friends:(

    its great that youre self aware of what is happening though and that your friends are aware of your mental illness. Do you think you can have a chat with them about things getting worse now and that you can feel out of control sometimes - if felt comfortable? If they truly care, they should try to be considerate & try understand this and support you more, if know. 

    But saying that - friendships is obviously a two way thing & would need to make some effort back when you do feel that lil bit better. Not that i am saying it is your fault - of corse not - but hope that they can be understanding of what youre going through which may make things that lil bit easier. 

    Are you getting any support from like your GP or the uni its self? Maybe could try if havent already, as shouldnt have to deal with it alone

    Do you have friends outside of uni that you keep in contact wtih? Am just wondering cause you mentioned about moving home. & think can be good to try to keep in contact with those friends too

    Sorry maybe not helpful. But hope youre okay & taking care of yourself
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @beth123

    I can really relate to this and in being disappointed in myself for getting distant with friends. You need to remember to look after yourself first though, 'your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have'. It's lovely that your friends have been understanding up to this point. Something that I have done in the past when I've felt bad is send a few mates the below image to help them understand what I'm going through and that I don't mean it... Maybe it will help you too?

    Sending hugs and always here if you need to talk.

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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