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What you wish people understood

SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
edited September 2018 in General Chat

Hey

So feel free to join me in writing down what you wish people understood. Can be about yourself or anything. Or even what you wish people knew about you. 


Feel like i have loads but anyway will start with saying;  i wish people understood i need a lot of personal space and just because i want to be by myself, doesnt mean am in bad mood or hate the persons company  

Also wish people understood that when i question somethig someone believes, i aint dismissing their belief or trying to be rude or start agrument, just trying to understand. 

“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Smol Bean Posts: 666 Incredible Poster
    I agree with the personal space one,
    I wish people understood that even though I will say No all the time, it doesn't mean they should stop inviting me. I like being invited to things, even if my anxiety prevents me from going. 
    And I wish people would understand that just because I like snakes and spiders and prefer to be on my own and dress in black doesn't mean Im creepy or weird or, my least favourite, a freak :/

    On a positive note, one day you might find someone who does understand those things. Or is willing to try and understand them. If we all make a little bit of effort to understand each other I think the world would be a slightly better place. 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Smol Bean Posts: 666 Incredible Poster
    @Shaunie I have the same problem as you, I really want to learn and understand something about someone else. So I ask questions and they always think i'm trying to start an argument or that I'm making fun of them some how. :/ It hopes to say something like, "I want to learn more about this, would you mind telling me.... then your question." I also add in "Im really curious about this" and "Im so happy for you, you seem very dedicated, but what if...." 

    Sounds weird but sometimes if I compliment someone first they are then more open to me asking questions they would otherwise feel offended by. For example, I really want to know what Vegans think of Lab-Grown meat, its identical to meat but grown in a lab and doesn't hurt any animals, but I don't want them to think I disagree with thier choices because if people don't want to eat animal products thats up to them. :/ 
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,194 Part of The Furniture
    What I wish  other classmates understood  is that I’m not a naughty kid or just mess about - I don’t understand somthing and I’m to embarrassed to ask for help as it’s somthing simple which means I get frustrated with myself and therefore find other ways to distract myself which might include talking or walking round the classroom 

    another thing is that I can’t just “snap out of “ my anxiety , it so hard and difficult and I’m not just being silly or over reacting it’s so real for me and telling me to just get over it isn’t going to help I need people to Bee understanding not questioning when I have to leave the room for 5 minutes 
    and finally 
    being a young carer is not a easy ride to get out of homework , it’s far from it , I don’t use it as a excuse I genuinely try to find time to do it but that’s not always possible and even be time where yes I do I my mobile phone on ken skip the odd piece of homework - try going home and doing my care role for a SEND nephew and then tell me it’s a easy ride to get out of home 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    I wish people understood that I can't control my bpd. when im with someone and im happy that's great, but when my mood plummets they often think it's they're fault when it's not.


    I also wish people understood how exhausting living with a mental illness is.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 2018
    Thank you all for sharing!!!

    i defintly agree @Eyepatch that trying to understand others would make the world that lil bit better which is why i made this as insightful too and feel like my quote/signature thing below goes quite well with it.  

    I do wish some people would understand how suicidal i get and how hard it gets that i feel out of control and that i do also try to get better but is pretty hard
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit

    More of a general one...

    But i also wished people would understand that everyone has different levels of inteligance and i personally dont think anyone is ‘stupid’. And all have different strengths and parts not so good at. 


    &to some people i can be seen as really ‘stupid’ as my spelling can be really bad if i dont check it or i ask “stupid” questions and i just dont know some general common knowledge. But i would say i can be pretty wise and have quite a lot of knowledge in some other areas. - the same with everyone

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    I wish people understood self harm. then maybe whenever I get stitches I wouldn't have to lie and say I fell. I wouldn't be scared to say what really happened. ( I think people know by now but have never mentioned anything)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    I have a few. 

    - I wish people understood I'm not bionic,  things get to me and some things are a real struggle. I just need 5 minutes alone to get my head together. 

    - I definitely wish people would understand how fatigued I get with my endometriosis. I can't fault college enough for being so kind I just wish some people had similar empathy because you know it's not simple laziness like its not because I can't be arsed to do something it's just hard really.

    I have a few more but can't think right now I'll post them later x
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    I wish people understood that comments like “you will eat nothing if it wasnt given to you”. Obviously not something my family do with the intention of making it worse. But Comments like that actually just make my eating disorder worse. Theyre just giving out expections because they know i have anorexia and say things like “oh she wouldnt eat all that anyway” - and then i defintly dont eat it all becUse that would make me feel out of control & fat - because its not expected as its seen as too much & then it would also bring attention of like - oh she ate it all with the patronising “ well done” And id just rather not have that sort of attention as embarrassing. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Shaunie said:

    Also wish people understood that when i question somethig someone believes, i aint dismissing their belief or trying to be rude or start agrument, just trying to understand. 

    Why is this always so hard to understand 🙃
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,194 Part of The Furniture
    Im not faking it , I can’t just get over it , it’s not stupid all my problems.
    im also not a special case I’m still a normal teenager just I have a few extra hurdles to overcome 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    That it would be the most kindest thing if i was just dead
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    That I’m not lazy. I am very heavily sad and it is hard to move sometimes being weighed down and having no energy 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 193 Trailblazer
    I wish people understood how much noise affects me and that it's because of my misophonia, not because I'm an intolerant person. They would struggle if certain noises affected them so much that it made them want to harm themselves too....
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,287 Skive's The Limit
    I wish people understood how to pronounce 'schedule'.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,194 Part of The Furniture
    That I really am trying my hardest and don’t mean to let everyone down all the time 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1 Just got here
    I wish people understood that sometimes things are overwhelming and I need a few minutes to calm down and refocus my self
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