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What's the best advice you've got from a mate about your love life?

AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,031 Boards Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Image result for friends advice
Hey everyone,

It's great to have a friend to lean on when you’re going through a difficult time in a relationship. What's the best advice you've got from a mate about your love life? 

- Aife
Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤

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    Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @Aife

    I think the number 1 piece of advice I've got from a friend was 'Stop being an idiot'  =) !
    Was going through a time when I needed to stop and appreciate what was in front of me and she had tried softly before giving me that tough love. I think we all probably need to be told to stop being an idiot from time to time, haha.

    - Lucy 
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    To leave- was an abusive relationship. Sometimes an outsider can see that more clearly. And was best advice
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,031 Boards Guru
    edited July 2018
    Thank you for sharing @Lucy307 and @Shaunie. It sounds like you've both had someone that's been there for you and given you some great advice when you needed it the most. 

    Lucy, you mentioned that your friend had tried giving you that advice before. It can be hard sometimes to listen to the advice someone is giving us. Like Shaunie said, sometimes an outsider can see things more clearly which can be really important. 

    How do you think someone can best support a friend who is struggling to listen to their advice? 

    - Aife
    Post edited by Aife on
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Just got here
    "What are you waiting for? Ines adores you. Ask her out!" That was my best friend telling me, for after my ex had treated me so violently, I was overly hesitant. Except Ines was known by my family for a long time. It wasn't as if she was a stranger.

    Shy, fumbling for the right words to say, I asked Ines to be my girlfriend. We hugged for a long time while she stroked the back of my neck as crying I trembled in her arms. Looking back I had nothing to fear. Our relationship deepened and soon this coming September we're getting married. My best friend, also lesbian, long knew Ines was the right one for me. She even told me during my previous stormy relationship I was heading for disaster. She helped me through much self-doubt, though speaks as she finds - and that isn't a bad thing when best friends give the best advice when giving from heart and head. :)
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Aife said:

    How do you think someone can best support a friend who is struggling to listen to their advice? 

    - Aife

    Um probably just to still be supportive to their friend & try not to get too angry that cant help them as much as like with their advice. as getting frustrated could probs make things worse & not reallly helpful anywy. But instead listen to them & listen for why they wont take on the advice ect & support them & still be there for them
     
    -sorry- Im not really sure
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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