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Do you ever worry about never meeting someone?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 151 Helping Hand
in Sex & Relationships
Personally, I get worried a lot that I will never find someone I love romantically, who loves me in the same way. I'm already 17 and I've never been closer than best friends with people. Sometimes, I worry I just can't romantically like someone. Many people say you meet a lot of people in university, and I don't doubt that at all! But what if there's still no one you like as more than a friend? You can argue that you can always meet someone anytime, no matter how old you are, but what if you want to marry and have biological children before a certain age?

Curious to hear your thoughts !

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 18


    Heya @Past User


    Is something i worry about. Sometimes i think i should start collecting cats now cause that is going to be my life will end up, as some lonely animal woman with no relationships 🙃


     But then when i think about it and why i have never been in a proper relationship is because dont get to know guys more than friends. And when ever someone i know or am friends with - has shown some interest in me - i just end up being really distant towards them suddenly. And i think self belief & self confidence can be a big part of it cause i just doubt myself that anyoen would actually want to be with me. So then i either completly stop that friendship or become distant for them to prove their interest but they get fed up and just move on. And i think some personal things can kinda really block romatically liking someone like low self worth and abdoment issues  and i have bpd so i feel that affects it for me  and wont allow myself to go there - if makes sense


    yet i crave that sort of relationship, and have sexual desires. So then think is important to know what sort of person youd like to be in a realtionship and your know sexual oritation to then want that romatic relationship. I don’t know that maybe sounds selfish to find someone to meet your needs. But i mean when i mean what sort of person you want to be with- i mean like their personality ect aswell so you like them as a person. I dont think that makes much sense tbh. 


    But can meet someone & have sexual chemsity & have desire to be touched by them or somethin - and that seems like a more romatic level. But i mean i say that like you need to have sexual chemisty with someone to be romantly attracted to them. But difference betweem them. & can probably be romantically attacted to them with that deep emtional connection with someone and that can turn into sexual attraction. 


    Though sometimes i do wonder when does liking someone as a friend become liking them as a romantic partner. And how is that deep connection turns different. Idek


    But i mean if youre worried that youre going to be that one - watching everyone get into relationships but youre not then could go dating & meeting and properly getting to know more people & putting yourself out there more to find more than just a friend could help. Like trying Tinder or something could help. Youre still so young though


    Hopefully i have helped a lil. Sorry is so lengthy!

    Post edited by TheMix on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    This was something I worried about too before I got into my current relationship. I mean I am only 15 so I know I had and still have plenty of time for that but I still worried too. But you can meet someone by complete chance. Me and my boyfriend met by complete chance 6 years ago, on a slide funnily enough. We’d been friends a long time but that relationship changed a few month ago. It’s amazing what chance can bring :)
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 151 Helping Hand
    edited September 18
    Shaunie said:


    Heya @Past User


    Is something i worry about. Sometimes i think i should start collecting cats now cause that is going to be my life will end up, as some lonely animal woman with no relationships 🙃


     But then when i think about it and why i have never been in a proper relationship is because dont get to know guys more than friends. And when ever someone i know or am friends with - has shown some interest in me - i just end up being really distant towards them suddenly. And i think self belief & self confidence can be a big part of it cause i just doubt myself that anyoen would actually want to be with me. So then i either completly stop that friendship or become distant for them to prove their interest but they get fed up and just move on. And i think some personal things can kinda really block romatically liking someone like low self worth and abdoment issues  and i have bpd so i feel that affects it for me  and wont allow myself to go there - if makes sense


    yet i crave that sort of relationship, and have sexual desires. So then think is important to know what sort of person youd like to be in a realtionship and your know sexual oritation to then want that romatic relationship. I don’t know that maybe sounds selfish to find someone to meet your needs. But i mean when i mean what sort of person you want to be with- i mean like their personality ect aswell so you like them as a person. I dont think that makes much sense tbh. 


    But can meet someone & have sexual chemsity & have desire to be touched by them or somethin - and that seems like a more romatic level. But i mean i say that like you need to have sexual chemisty with someone to be romantly attracted to them. But difference betweem them. & can probably be romantically attacted to them with that deep emtional connection with someone and that can turn into sexual attraction. 


    Though sometimes i do wonder when does liking someone as a friend become liking them as a romantic partner. And how is that deep connection turns different. Idek


    But i mean if youre worried that youre going to be that one - watching everyone get into relationships but youre not then could go dating & meeting and properly getting to know more people & putting yourself out there more to find more than just a friend could help. Like trying Tinder or something could help. Youre still so young though


    Hopefully i have helped a lil. Sorry is so lengthy!

    Hey Shaunie,

    I can't believe how much I relate to basically everything you've said here, especially with distancing yourself when someone shows some interest but still craving that sort of relationship, or not knowing the boundary between liking someone as a friend versus romantically.

    It's really comforting, in a strange sense, to know I'm not alone with these feelings (I think we subconsciously already understand somewhat that there's probably at least one other person in the world who feels the same way as us, but it's so easy to forget). 

    Thank you for your reply!  <3
    -peachysoo 
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 151 Helping Hand
    independent_ said:
    This was something I worried about too before I got into my current relationship. I mean I am only 15 so I know I had and still have plenty of time for that but I still worried too. But you can meet someone by complete chance. Me and my boyfriend met by complete chance 6 years ago, on a slide funnily enough. We’d been friends a long time but that relationship changed a few month ago. It’s amazing what chance can bring :)
    Hi independent_,

    That's so wholesome and lovely to read about; thank you for reply  <3
    -peachysoo
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    This post is really close to home for me, I was and am only 17 when I got into my first relationship but I thought it wouldn't happen that quick haha many people I know are going by and still wondering if they'll meet that someone it can often feel rubbish and lonely but you have to think about the odds of you going through your life having no relationships whatsoever,  that isn't likely (only if you choose to of course) 

    There are any ways to find someone, dating sites aren't the best,  there are females and there are males both looking for something long term but they get drowned out by the quick hookup people and it makes them hard to find,  kinda like a needle in a haystack and it will lower your confidence and willpower to keep coming across these people.

    Then of course theres the outside scene, youth groups, cafes,  ect. Not great if you're overly anxious or nervous.

    And lastly online.

    My relationship came from the latter but it was still complete chance. 

    You'll always find someone when you least expect it and I find it actually helps not to try too hard just go with the flow and watch it happen,  there will be someone there always will no matter your gender or sexuality or hobbies you'll find them it does sound really cheesy but until that someone comes along its good to work on yourself,  take care of yourself and treat yourself, you always deserve to be treated every now and then and who says it can't be you who does that x :)
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