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Kind of lost and hopeless

So I've just finished my three year course at university and I'm feeling extremely low again. I spent three years doing a course I didn't like but couldn't afford to change. I am not interested and don't have enough experience to even get an internship any of the jobs related to my degree.
I had a meltdown a few month ago because every internship and graduate scheme I applied for rejected me. 
I am even now getting rejected from retail jobs because I'm overqualified for them now. 
I've been feeling really low recently about my physical appearance too and have even forced myself to not use social media anymore because, when I see other people my age thriving it just makes me feel worse.
I'm spending my summer cooped up in my bedroom because everything costs money to do and everyone I know is off doing amazing things this summer, so I have no one to even hang out with.
The last time I felt like this I self harmed but I haven't done that in years. 
I don't know what to do with my life, I have no passions or future life plans. 
How do you deal with it mentally when you feel hopeless? 

ShaunieEyepatch

Comments

  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,724 The Mix Elder
    edited July 2018
    Hey!

    Youre not alone. 
    There is so much pressure. Esp on social media. I understand. Its horrible feeling.  Knowing not alone helps me, though not nice others are suffering. I have spent my last 2 summers cooped up cause badly depressed. Its lonely & horrible. Feel like im missing out and wasting life. But please remember social media can disort peoples lives and not as good as it seem. Like instagram- sometimes i think anyon can feel ugly after spending some time on there. Like whos skin is even that flawless in real life. & sometimes its just even a camera angle making them seem thinner or something. I think lots use photo shop too. Social media can be pretty damaging for mental health. 

    I think Youre doing well. Things are never striaght foward,  in anyones lives. It can seem so hopeless and dark but ways round it. You sound like you still have motivation? -that in its self is great and will get you far. Dont let the rejections drop your motivation.  <3

    Its okay. Its hard to know what to do for our future though. Takes some people agess.   Have you thought about voulterring at some places? As not something you have to commit to but gives you some insight to it and experience. 

    Hope youre okay. 
    All the best
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
    Butterfly06Eyepatch
  • thomthom Posts: 9 Newbie
    Hey there, hope everything's holding up okay at the moment.
    Being stuck in a limbo between having too little and too much qualification sounds like a genuine letdown, and I'm sorry that you have to be going through that right now, especially with everyone else off doing their own things. I do think that taking a break from social media is a good choice, though; it's smart of you not to worsen your own mood.
    You mentioned that everyone you know is away - how would you feel about finding new people locally that you wouldn't have otherwise met? Are there any clubs or youth groups in your area that would interest you? If there are, I'd definitely recommend you go there to meet people you can hang out with this summer. Then I'm sure you'd feel far less lonely.
    Regarding the comments on how you see your own body, it is normal for those who are in a low mood to feel even lower about themselves. Your feelings are perfectly valid, but I promise you're much better looking than you think you are - again, something that those in a low mood struggle to realise.
    If everything is too much for you at this point, don't focus on the long term. Just think about what you personally would like to accomplish this summer, whether it's going to a club, or just something else, before looking at what you'll do in the future. Summertime is a period to cherish, especially one like this - the most stressful time in a young person's life is over. Love yourself, and your potential new friends will love you too. Good luck, and congratulations on finishing university!
    Eyepatch
  • EyepatchEyepatch Posts: 389 Rampant Poster
    Even though you didn't enjoy university, you still managed to get though it and graduate. That in itself is something to be proud of.

    @thom and @Shaunie are right, focus on short term goals right now to keep yourself from getting to low. Clubs are a great idea, how about running your own? If you have skills you want to share ask locally if you can use space like in a cafe or town hall. Some cafes will let you use space for free as long as your guests order something there. All you have to do is charge a small amount and then pass on your skills. Volunteering is also a great idea, or looking for online work. 

    It's also good that you recognized your low mood was coming from social media and therefore are staying off it. Don't think of this as a bad thing, you recognized a cause for your negative emotions and have taken a break to help yourself feel better. This is a good thing, you can always go back later if you feel up to it, don't feel pressured to be online. 

    Keep trying, perhaps think of a part of uni you did enjoy, no matter how small, and try and find jobs more focused in on that, even if they don't relat to your degree overall.

    Keep going, 
    You can get through this :)
    "Sometimes we find ourselves stuck between choosing what is right, and what is easy." 
  • PuffinEthicsPuffinEthics Posts: 74 Moderator
    Hi there @Butterfly06

    I can definitely identify with your predicament. 
    I did a degree that didn't lead me to directly to a career. I couldn't afford to not work after uni and I had to sign up to job seekers allowance, and after all of that effort to get a degree which I thought would lead me to getting a job that paid well with good money it felt like it actually just put me back at square one. It made me feel down about the future and myself. Safe to say you are not alone. 

    I'm sorry that your feeling hopeless, I think a lot of us here at the mix have felt like that at some point.
    What is it about the future you feel particularly hopeless about?  

    Perhaps try thinking about how getting a degree is a big achievement itself, no matter where it leads you. Lots of people don't have degrees and it shows drive, commitment, intelligence and no end of positive traits for the working world, and the world in general. Do you feel like you can feel the pride in the achievement? 

    Social media can be hard and comparing yourself to others can make us all feel down sometimes. Do you feel like your searching for a bit of purpose in life? What is your day to day like? Making small goals for yourself can make a lot of difference. 

    Your outlook could make a lot of difference to how your feeling. You say you don't know what you what to do with your future, you could see that as a freedom to try some things and see how you get on and what you learn from them. Not having a defined path doesn't mean you won't have a fulfilling journey, it just might take a while to find your feet. 

    Maybe taking some time to appreciate yourself and your achievements could help? By thinking about good positive things about yourself and even writing them down. 
     
    In my experience, it helped when I got a job, it made me feel a bit less like everyone else was doing better than me. I rewrote my CV for retail jobs, and jobs that I seemed 'overqualified' for. Then, when I was catering my cv for each application, I started getting opportunities. It's time consuming but it pays off to just have certain CV's for certain types of jobs.  
    After all that, I now manage a shop and yeah it's a job I could have got without a degree, but I am very happy in the role. 

    In terms of the social side of things, your life has probably changed quite a lot from student to graduate, and its not an easy transition, it seems @thom had some good ideas on how to reach out to other people? 

    How are you getting on?

    Thanks for sharing 
    - Puffin Ethics
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