Post of the month - August

TheMix

Hey everyone,

Congratulations to @Aidan who is July's post of the month winner. You can see his post as an announcement on the homepage of the boards.

Thank you all for your nominations for August's post of the month. I've listed below the nominations:

1. @Distraction's post in the thread 'i'm really really struggling, please.. help me’

Hi Meggles,

I know we don't really talk and I don't know you that well, but I wanted to try to help because you really do deserve it and you've been through so much shit, regarding ur message, it sounds like theres a lot going on, is there anyway you can slow things down a bit, taking things in steps maybe?

If you feel like you can't control your thoughts and feelings have you tried going through them, accept them and try to let them pass, even tho it's difficult as anything, doing that might help in the long run? It takes a lot of time tho,

I don't know what it's like to go through an abortion but my sister went through one and I know it's not something you can just move on from, some people can but a lot of people struggle and that's ok, theres nothing wrong with that, have you got any professional support as it is something you should be able to talk to someone about freely and not feel judged

Some universities let you meet up with the lecturer before hand, to find out more about what will happen and how you can cope with the course load and all that, usually they are really helpful if you can email or call them.

I can't really help u on the last bit, am not so sure on it myself, I just know that there has to be some point to all this and that it has to get better cos it can't get much worse,

I really hope this helped in some way and am sorry if it's just a tone of shit words, I really do care

2. @Aidan's post in the thread 'Good for nothing but sex'

Hey Jersey,

It sounds like you're going through a difficult time right now, sorry to hear about that *hug*
And like Mike said, welcome to the community! We appreciate how difficult it can be to reach out, so well done

​From what you've said, it sounds like you feel you've been used, is this right? It isn't uncommon to feel like this, often in many relationships one or both partners can feel like the other is using them, maybe because they actually are, or maybe because the relationship is going through a rough patch and trust has been lost. To me, it also seems like your sex drive isn't so strong at the minute, and 'Lee' makes unwanted advances that sometimes you just 'take' when you really don't want to. You should never be pressured into unwanted sex, this is often a type of unhealthy relationship in the bedroom. The mix has an article on this which you can read if you want.

It seems you've grown distant from 'Lee', with preparing to move out and also your loss of libido. Would you agree? Do you think you'd like to try to repair the relationship, or are you separating yourself from him to get some space, or because you're getting ready to move on from him?

​Sounds like things are really tough for you right now, especially with the added strain of learning to cope with bipolar, as well as the disappointments at work and with learning to drive *hug*
​You've done really well to reach out for help, how do you feel about everything now?

Take care
Aidan

3. [USER][/USER]'s post in this thread

Sucks that things are really shitty at the moment. It's crazy because I too was up all night tossing and turning after having an eventful day, it truly is exhausting when the distress is so persistent and pervasive. I can only empathise for you Meggles and I won't truly understand what you've been through because I've never experienced it but I just wanted to let you know that it doesn't make you a bad person, not at all and I know that it's really hard for you to believe it because you're hurting so much now but it's the truth and I certainly don't judge you for it.

The other day when you asked about the bath bomb and reminded me again later down the line it made me smile and reminded me to look after myself because I let myself go. I don't think I said thank you but it really did help, fuck I donnoe why I'm crying. Sometimes it the small things that really matter and if you can, put some comfy blanket, grab a mug and a hot drink of your choice and give yourself some thing nice to do *cough couch* watch a film preferable harry potty orrrrr something else of your choice.


I hope you feel even the littlest bit okay, even if it's teeny tiny.

P.S I legit keep almost calling you Meagles for reason, I donnoe whyy my brain keeps doing this lol

4. @Meggles thread 'Self care'

my recent post and a comment from another user has made me realise that self care is so important.
I wanted to start a thread in the Health and Wellbeing section of the boards about self care.

Self care is provided by you, for you

I know a lot of us are struggling at the moment with different aspects of our own lives, and sometimes we get so lost in these we forget to take time for ourselves. This tread is, a Reminder to you to take time out for yourself during the difficult times.

down in the comments I would really love for people to share ideas and tips about self- care. to remind ourselves and others in the community.

My way of self care when i recognise ( or someone recognises i have neglected myself) is:

• Take a walk and admire whats around me ( take as long as needed)
• treat myself to a bath with a bathbomb and bubbles ( bubbles are important)
• make a hot drink and just sit down with a film.

Please feel free to share your ideas!

The Mix have a guide to self-care which you can find here.

5. @Aidan 's post in the thread 'Chat Guidelines'

Just a bit of a moral dilemma I keep coming across in chat, and I think everyone else does too and it causes a bit of conflict sometimes.

What if a topic or word is mentioned (that is not explicitly against the guidelines) that could be sensitive, and anyone is triggered?

Is freedom of speech impeded and the topic/word etc. is banned, or does chat continue in spite of anyone triggered?

There's a fine line between impeding free speech and keeping an environment safe for sensitive people, so I'm confused lol

6. @Shaunie 's post in the thread 'Having a really bad day'

I know how that feels
But keep thinking like everything will get better it will really help. Hope- it really helps and when you can see hope you will push yourself more and if you push yourself more you will get where you want.
There may be many dark nights, many tears and bad days but you can never give up. You have to keep fighting the feelings. Like now.
Youre trying right ? And You will keep trying til you get where you want to be. It will be worth it

7. [USER][/USER] 's post in the thread 'help. Ptw'

Hi Shaunie,

I think that would be a good idea beacuse you could do with the support right now. I always say feel the fear and run with it beacuse things haven't been good and you deserve a shot at a silver lining and this is definatelly the way forward. What that person did was not right and as much as you wan't to blame yourself and hate yourself, people like that know what to say to make you feel guilty and make it seem like it's what you wanted. Fuck him, he's not going to destroy your life and everyday that you're alive and here on this earth it's like saying a big fuck you.

Also, remember to do the pros and cons as uncomfortable as it is coming foward think about how you'd feel if you weren't able to comunicate what you wanted? It's going to make you feel worse right? and thats why you need to tell them and really put emphasis on how it's affecting your day to day life.It's an incredible difficult thing to talk about but I am so so proud of you for trying.

When things come up that I don't want to remember it sends me straight to the pits of hell. It's the lingering shame and disgust that fills you right to the brim, it's one one that makes you want to crawl out of your skin and completely destach yourself from you because that way you won't remember but unfortunately suicide not only erradicates the chances of things getting worse, it irradicates the chances of things getting better.

You're going to get better and things will get better even if it takes days, weeks or years whether you beleive it or not because I do. If you needed a sign today, consider this it. You need to keep fighting Shaunie, really dig deep for some of that strength.

P.S you've got this *hug*

8. [USER][/USER] 's post in the thread 'I need a hug thread'

Kitties!

I hope to visit Brighton to see all the different cats they have there.

At my current place of residency we quite a few cats, I've seen a bengal cat , a siamese cat and the lion cat that's actually a long haired tabbby. I've been trying to get this cat to like me for years but nope, nothing. WHY WONT YOU LET ME PET YOU KITTY?

We need a thread for the kitties of the neighborhood Mike

Thank you all for your nominations this month, keep looking out for more posts to nominate for September's post of the month and don't forget to vote on this month's post of the month.

- Aife